Shadows lost and spirits wild
Angels voice soft and mild
Lost forever in your light
Just a feeling in the night
I've never met you in this life
But feel your heart your pain your strife
We'll meet someday out of the blue
Showing that our love is true
Soulmates are far and few
We're so lucky just us two
And when I sleep I dream of you
When you wake you feel it too
Pulled together by heavens glory
Our two lives are God's love story
But for a little longer I must wait
For that day of lovely fate

A man and his brother set on a task
An undertaking attempted many times by others
To no avail nothing and no one could succeed
But their vision was to them possible
It seemed that this feat was not meant to be
The world told them to quit
If God wanted it to be he would have giving you the tools
Yet they were undeterred in this goal
They toiled and worked
They  slaved and sweated
Failed many times in their task
But together they crawled toward their aim
One day they finally did it
They climbed aboard their creation
And started a new era in the modern world
Finally these brothers did the impossible
Their names were Wilbur and orville wright

Stubbornness is perhaps the greatest gift God has given man
Those who have it are mocked and berated by their clan
Undeterred they continue toward their mission
Never swayed by words blinded by their ambition
When the dust settles everyone sees
The answer to success is this disease
More things have been done
By unrelenting men seeking the long run
Stubbornness may in fact be wrong
Alas anyone can see this burden is carried only by the strong

When I am weak it is there
It doesn’t judge me
It gives me strength
It’s a problem but it is mine
Where are you when I need help
Your not but it is
That beer or that wine
It never betrays me
It lets me know who I am
When others tell me who I should be
It tells me who I am
It causes problems but it is also solutions
When I seek answers
It is there
It may be wrong
It may be a sin
But no one else can understand
It makes me free
Like nothing else can
My lips and aspirations are boundless
Who knew that all I seek
Is in a bottle of poison
So many have died
So many have been born
It is the solid string of life
It is what it is
It doesn’t lie
This genie is God
The voice of an alcoholic
But in this world of lies
It is true and doesn’t make false promises
With the knowledge of its dead end
So many still seek its knowledge
Even though it has none to give
It brings hate and love
It precedes idiocy and brings wisdom
It’s the answer  and the problem
But until I find something better
I will dwell in the devils house
I am not perfect nor am I good
that’s why I defect to ungodliness
I know it is wrong
I know it is sin
Still I seek it
It is strong and yet it is weak
Its strength comes from weakness
Knowing this doesn’t change its hold on me
What does is love and God the true God
Sometimes I don’t see it
Sometimes  I don’t realize it
But those around me do
Friends and family help me through it
When they aren’t  there I fall back
I seek that poison
I want that sin
Why because im free with it
When the world goes to hell I turn to hell for release
It doesn’t change who I am
It brings it out in both good and bad
Afterwards im both happy and sad
The last of my world is in that last drop
My birth is in that first sip
Whiskey brings me to act
*** makes me to laugh
***** helps me relax
And beer helps me to be loose
Its all bad yet I cannot cease
This is the ballad of an alcoholic
Let none of you judge
For you are alcoholics in your own way
You find your vice and lie
We have found ours its just more acceptable
Lord help me with this for I know it is wrong
Only you can guide me
Until then cheers for I love you more than
This poison that stands between us
Help me lord cause only you can
Only the strength of the father son and ghost
Can fix this mortal fixation
I know your there
So help me before I do something
That might make my service to you in question
Before I sought freedom
Now I seek servitude to you
I have been selfish
Now I seek sacrifice
I love you and all others but you are HIM
Help me in my hours of need
I know you will
I am meant for greater than Jim beam
I am meant for more than Johnny walker
As of now I cannot do it alone
But you are there
And I will pull through
Thank you and God bless

You are my soul mate, there are many like us
But this one is ours,  My soul mate is my best friend she is my life
Without me my soul mate I she useless without her I am useless
I will treat my soul mate right, I will be your shelter your armor your strength
I will be your sword your protector your shield
I will learn your weaknesses your strength your dreams your desires and your fears
I will ever guard you against the ravages and trials of this world I will
We will become part of each other, we will
I will slay every dragon I will clear every obstacle
I will pick you up when you fall, take care of you when you fall ill
I will be your strength when you are weak
When you cannot continue I will carry you
When you  are sick I will care for you
When you cry  I will whipe away the tears
I will sacrifice all to have you at peace
When our children are hurt I will heal them
I will be strong enough for the both of us
May you not want while I am with you
When there is work to be done I will do it
I will be the wind beneath your wings
I will be at your back every step you take
I will miss you when you are afar
You will be in my heart forever and always
We will give each other names which we only call each other
We will know each other through body and soul
I will know your wants needs dreams and desires
I will be the man of your dreams
I will give you all your heart desires and needs
I will give my all and ask for nothing in return but your love
My love is unconditional
Through sorrow and desease
Through wrinkles and baldness
My love will never end even after breathe lives my body
I will not let you give up on yourself even when you feel like you cannot continue
Our lives will be entwined and ever seamless
There is nothing we together  cannot accomplish
We were destined
Our lives are written in the stars
We will be together one day
And that day will be the beginning of our beautiful lives together
God has brought us together and nothing can break us
Theses things I promise to you and to you alone for all time


Before God I swear this creed my soul mate and I are the masters of our future we are the perfect match we are opposites we complete each other, So be it for the rest of our days until eternity embraces us and there is no one else but us.

Drifting through life
Roaming into void
Alone in the world
Everything destroyed

None to care
Nothing to adore
Absent a goal
Deficient a core

He walks alone
No one to mind
Memories of nothing
His world is blind

Thy only friend
Has been his thoughts
Trust in no one
Love to him rots

Feelings don’t equate
Emotions a bear
No room for regret
His soul rare

His shoulders carry
The worlds worry
His cross to bear
His vision blurry

Life is cold
Hell is hot
Prison is lenient
Love is not

The ground at his feet
The wind at his back
Rain in his face
Mind under attack

Lost in the dark
Destination unknown
Traveled to far lands
No seeds to be sown

Somewhere to be seen
There is a place
Where the world sees him
And accepts his face

Along the horizon
He sets his heart
That someone would want him
To never be apart

From one place to another
No mind body or soul
Unneeded throughout
Enduring his stroll

Life without meaning
Spirit without guide
Body without  tone
Ocean without tide

One day it will come
Lightning from the sky
Opportunity awaits
Where there is no goodbye

His lonely eyes
No one sees
His ability so great
But no one agrees

If someone would risk it
Bliss would be found
For he would give all
His love would astound

Alas he keeps moving
His stride none the swifter
No ones concern
Because he is the drifter

Ive been through this Ive been through that
My direction uncertain blind as a bat
I took a path to me most certain
To fight for right and lift the curtain

The longer I stayed the more I lost
Less motivation for more of the cost
Still I was willing to give my all
The more I climbed the more I'd fall

Till finally I looked at that sweet dawn
That perhaps instead of climbing I should spawn
Maybe my life would be desirable
Being myself then something couterfactual

I still want the glory and the praise
But that wont give me true appraise
Being a man who is strong and true
Means I wont need to redo

Life is short
Weeds are tall
Questioning your plight
Means you must fight

Here I am with much joy
This new path is no ploy
Its me and my life
Myself now, my future wife

All I need a simple life
A gun a dog a knife
Rocking a chair on some land
The more I think it is grand

I dont want a nice car
I wont need to go far
For my life is in my possession
My goal is progression

The battle rages
He grows weak
The enemy surrounds
His future bleak

His armor heavy
Sword hangs low
Shield has been lost
Anticipating his final blow

Fear does not embrace
Still no hesitation
No sign of rescue
No feeling of deflation

Eyes at the horizon
Feet a sturdy foundation
Hands steady firm
His honor no deviation

He sees it
The end is near
Thoughts race
Everything becomes clear

Face full of mud
Hands filled with gore
Legs drench in sweat
Bones chilled to the core

His voice booms
A deafening roar
He does not hear it
Drowning the surrounding war

He corrects his form
Preparing for glory
He charges forward
No chance to tell his story

Brothers dead or missing
The enemy many strong
The battle is thick
The dead sing a grave song

Charging forward his muscles ache
Sword high with attack
His armor shines dim
Enemy at his front non at his back

The distance closes
Their weapons clash
Ten men to one
Sky rains molten ash

He fights like a lion
Never yielding
His soul like a bear
Never weeping

The fight is long
The melee swift
A beautiful defeat
His soul adrift

Body on ground
He continues the fight
Life begins to drain
Slashing and stabbing with all his might

Alas an answer from above
A voice resounds
You have fought well my son
Angel of death surrounds

Still he fights
No chance of redemption
He fights defeat and death
He will get no exemption

His fiber will not quite
His heart will not die
Even when demanded
He will not comply

Alas he will succomb
His spirit still in power
Fear of all and none
Regardless he will  not cower

The final strike
Pieces his heart
Eyes go dark
Body and soul drift apart

These feelings I have are bewildering
The questions endless
Why what who where when how
Answers are not forthcoming
Who have I becoming
What is happening to me
Why do I have these feelings
When did this seep into my soul
How am I to deal with this
This is not me
I don’t routinely burden myself with sentiment
Emotions are foreign to me
I don’t know where to turn
I turn to the almighty
I hear no answer
Why lord I need you to hear my sorrow
I know you keep silent and that your silence is piercing
You omniscience is perpetually
I am lost and I give myself up
For I am not equipped to handle this
I love her to every end of my soul
Why she is but a women
Beautiful wonderful caring loving and perfect
I shouldn’t care but I do
Why I do not know
I seek answers I find none
Does she love me but hide it
Does she not love me and cant handle it
Are we meant to be
Has she found another
Am I good enough for her
Does she deserve me
My heart says yes
I would do anything for her
Forgive any misgiving
When she doesn’t speak to me I yearn for her voice
When she is not near my body longs for her presence
When she is near my heart craves her touch
When she speaks to me my heart breaks when no love comes for her lips
My entire being implodes when she ignores me
I wish I didn’t feel this way
I pray that I should forget
But every fiber of my soul refuses
This is not me
My rational thoughts escape reasoning
Thus I turn to a higher motivation
I turn to the lord at the expense of my good sense
I cannot not accept we are not meant to be
I will toil and labor as hard as heavenly possible
To make my prayers a reality for hope without work is dead
Insanity becomes me when I use this judgment
I feel torn between faith and logic
To accept the faith I must deny my own humanity
To ignore my over worked emotions is to banish my love
I wish I could
Typically I would why is this different
This is not me who am I
I long to know her in her entirety
I desire to be with her through any burden
Where is she
What is she doing
Does she dream about me like I do for her
I am writing the most despised thing in my nature
But there is nothing else to do
My insides are upturned
I have no where to turn
What is happening to me
Does she not love me
Does she desire me
I cannot take this pain
So I turn to God
He provides no resource but still I turn
I cannot do it alone
I don’t just want her I need her
I am not complete with out her
I would do anything to have what I once did
I do not believe she doesn’t love me
But have no evidence to the contrary
And with no evidence I am ****** into abyss
Help me o lord
I don’t want to care but am powerless not to
Help me
I want her to be my partner
I long for her to be with me all the days of my life
I desire for our children to play while we sit watching in unfathomable bliss
Am I worth it
If not I fear I will die alone
I would do anything for her without any concern for my own well being
I will go through any trial and tribulation for her
As a result I must believe this is part of those trials
PATIENCE THE LORD SCREAMS AT ME
My love desire and humanity screams contrary and make my efforts arduous
But I will do thy bidding for her
She shouldn’t be that important to me yet she is
WHY
The only answer I have is because we are meant to be
I hope this to be true Help me lord
I pray with my eternal soul to the heavenly father to bring her loving arms back to me
But until that fateful day I am required to wait
I must stay in pain until the lord brings my love back to my heart
No vice no hurdle no complication is too difficult for me to triumph over
I shall be patient my lord for that is your instruction
I just hope that it is not in vain for I will be further disillusioned
She must come to me of her own free will or it would be untrue
So I shall sit and wait for her to come back I just want to survive
Until then lord guide me walk with me help me and comfort me and give me strength
For without you I would not be able to cope with the true love that I lost

I am drowning now at mine own hands
Praying with all mine heart
Wishing with all mine soul
Working with all the strength I can procure and finding more

My faith is strong
My hope is infinite
My love endless
We will be together once again

All pleasure is gone
Every muscle is strained
Each of mine thoughts endless
For you are my flame

God has embraced me
Life has carried me
Divinity has  consoled me
For without you I cease to be

His word holds me
His love endures me
His will humbles me
For I feel we are destined to be

My logic escapes me
My design is erased from me
My being is distorted
You have taught me to love

Before you I refused to care
Until you I knew not of joy
Because of you I learned affection
I know this to be certainty

In the face of all reason
Despite all explanation
In spite all my knowledge and comprehension
I have faith We are written as providence

I am prepared to make any sacrifice
I am ready to make any surrender
I am ready to gamble on any chance
To have you in my soul eternally

I will not resign  my faith
I will not  relinquish my hope
I will not  yield love
For that is the man he has made in me




You loved me at my darkest point
You cared for me at the pit of my life
You gave me devotion at my abyss
I refuse to accept the that there is no salvation

I shall be infinitely honorable
I shall be perpetually courageous
I shall be committed to no soul or heart but yours

I shall wade the deepest waters
I shall ascend the highest peak
I shall brave the greatest beast
To attest our destiny

I provide you my devotion
I bestow unto you my integrity
I present to you all of my adoration
I present to you all of myself to do with as you desire

Why I sense this is I am uncertain
Regardless of my efforts I cannot eliminate it
All my being refuses to weaken it
Therefore I must embrace it and toil to render it genuine

My faith makes no barrier to great
My hope permits no submission
My love will not tolerate desertion
For you warrant all the struggle in the cosmos

The Lord gives me the words
He gives me the perseverance
He coerces my labors
For this rationale it is offensive to terminate

If this be my lunacy
If my toil be futile
If my risk be fruitless
I will feel no anger nor spite for you are worth the peril

For He has said
For  He has predestined
For he has instructed
That my pains be commenced despite my reservations

My faith continues me
My hope risks all
My love knows no bounds
For I beyond doubt believe we are destined

Faith without works is dead
Hope in God for I shall yet praise Him
Love covers all sin
For he gave us these gifts three faith hope and love but the greatest of these is love

I sit alone in this room
Atmosphere dark and gloom

I close my eyes I ponder
Mind begins to wonder

I find myself in the woods
Alone with natures goods

The sun is high and stunning
A nearby rivers water running

Birds singing and deer prancing
Leaves dashing and shadows dancing

A peace becomes all I am
I am one with all of them

At home in this splendor
My soul becomes soft and tender

My troubles are now receded
Gods will I have conceded

My desires have no merit
For only the weak shall inherit

Perhaps alone now I must be
Whether or not I wish to agree

Mine own hand has put me here
Weakness made my honor disappear

This place plentiful and brilliant
Like nature I must be resilient

For now I will take it in
And realize how beautiful it has been

Perhaps one day I will be in perpetual peace
And maybe my pain will cease

What has brought me here
What has made myself disappear

In the end it only took one
Someone whos beauty I could not out run

All my life love was secondary
An emotion so powerful it was scary

I ignored I refused
For with that my heart could not be bruised

Through all of life tests for me
Conquered them all I still could not see

I have been challenged by the best
Still I did not fall as anyone can attest

Stood strong through all contests
And yet all feelings I suppress

Regardless of the cost
Myself was still not loss

This place teaches so much
A divinity I cannot touch

I’ve never had to come here before
But since you I cant ignore

Through everything I have beaten
All I’ve over come save for this demon

You’re the one I cannot shake
The one sensation I cannot fake

The one thing I did right
I cannot vanish into the night

Bravo you have done what nothing else could
If I could take it from my memory I would

But alas I am broken
With no words to be spoken

My iron clad façade
You put in front a firing squad

Always on guard
My soul now scarred

In the end it only took one
To make me completely undone

Denials fears receipts
Lies betrayals deceits

Expectations loss resentments
Perception destruction commitments

Adoration longing craving
Yielding accepting braving

Politics labor expense
Logic confusion dispense

Care concern keenness
New life new world seamless

Divinity concealment hate
Regret trust late

Forgiving losing retake
Patience understanding heartbreak

Dealing retracing abiding
Life God residing

Emotions thoughts dissent
Judgments wisdom repent

Memories traces slaughter
Heart soul fodder

Empathy retraction deafness
Body mind breathless

Oxygen air amiss
Blood veins remiss

Promises sensations overlook
Death sadness overtook

Redemption reprisal regret
Untreated unlearned unmet

I tried

I tried my hardest but to no avail
And yet every fiber that is me refuses to fail
What has happened to is beyond my control
It is written on every inch of my soul
My promises still ring true
All will always try to get you
Regardless of whether I should
I will always try as hard as I could
It cannot stop you’ve stained my spirit
No matter what I do I cannot **** it
I hate I despise I and loath what I have become
And I don’t know where I am gone or from
Lost in a world that is hollow
No good example to follow
I am embarking on my own trail
Like anything else it’s a new tale
On my own I want no advice
From man woman or mice
This is me defiant to the end
With no worries luck or friend
Bring it on I say to this life
I can take it all pain sorrow and strife
You want it you got it cause here I go
Nothing and no one can tell me no
I am done with others expectations
I’m finished with all lies and hesitations
Here I am back to my desire
My soul is back and on fire
Your done and I want nothing
And my pain has stopped its sting
Here I am take it or leave it
For you and I are not a fit
I realize I will never be good enough for you
But you were never really good enough for me too
So have a good life I wish you the best

Four men born
Different and the same
Never meeting each other
Some wild some tame

One man the gift of gab
Another a musical sensation
The third given athletics
The last given determination

The first spoke beautifully
A voice like no others
Coasting through life
Doing nothing for his brothers

He grew like a ****
Top of all deeds
First wave of trouble
He surrenders and recedes

His possibilities are few
His lack of drive decided
The few feats he made
For his fears abided

The second a musical genius
His harmony was perfection
No sound he couldn’t master
His favorite the brass section

As easy as greeting the day
He played the greatest sound
Everyone enjoyed his gift
How his ability did astound

Alas one day he lost a duel
Harder he did not work
He lost time and again
So his talent he did shirk

Never again did he play
For what was the use
Too difficult the work
No lack of an excuse

Now he works in a box
His tasks painless
Never rising from ordinary
His record stainless

The third man a muscular marvel
Body carved from steel
Strong as an ox
His form ideal

In any arena
He would be winner
No blemishes on the outside
Not true of the inner  

For one day he met his match
And apart did he fall
Refusing to get up
He decided to crawl

Please they all beg
But his pride was hurt
I quit his reply
He declined to convert

What a man he could have been
Had he only tried harder
Alas he did not
He’d rather be a martyr

The last man had nothing unique
Seemingly nothing great
Life just like the others
Without any special trait

He failed many times
But kept on trying
Fell many times
Yet remained undying

One day it was unbearable
Life gave its worst
Stumbled he did
Feeling cursed

He fought it through
To the very end
Trouble battled back
His will did not bend

During it all he kept going
No talent to grasp
Never did he stop
Until he did gasp

Later in life
He looked about
His trials were over
And he had clout

Because of his tests
He excelled and overcame
He had no regrets
He had no shame

Many tests taught him well
Countless hardships made him tall
Finally his gift discovered
To always rise when you fall

As he walked down the street
A voice whispered in his ear
Taunting and teasing him
Belittling and screaming
First in growls
Then in howls
He ignored with all his power
But the voice would not relent
He instructs more forceful now
Break that commandment
Do that sin
You will feel better
You wont get in trouble
Still he stayed true
At home the voice came with vigor
Drink that potion
Sip that poison
His mettle began to weaken
The voice came now with new momentum
He felt himself weakening even more
He was about to give in
He looked about to see what sin to commit
Ideas came in droves
Destroy that
****** this
Then just out of view
A book came to focus
He picked it up
Read its word
The voice ceased
His thoughts calmed
His strength returned
He relaxed and kept reading
And to know surprise Gods word was his saving grace

This is the dream
Arise at dawn
Wife partner lover fast asleep
Morning chores first on the list
Finished with earnest
Returning to the cabin I start my favored hobby
Hefty western breakfast practically done
She awakes to partake
She greets her coffee with a broad smile
The kind only she could present
At the table she waits
Her meal is perfection
Her joyous spirit finishes it
Picture perfect

As I see it cant be true
The haze the woods the stream
Everything I could ever want
Is written and performed in my dream

The dream continues
She dresses and begins her passion
Working with Gods chosen creatures
I begin my work building our future
Hours pass as we perform our tasks
The lunch bell sings time has come
A quick noon break once again I gaze
Her beauty is astounding
I study praying for eternity in this heaven
Our meal is finished we return to our chores

As I see it cant be true
The haze the woods the stream
I allow myself to believe
I long to stay in this dream

The dream persists
We embrace and continue our duties
Back to her passion
Back to my ambition
The day burns intense
The sun begins to fade
My body aches in wonderful agony
Supper is almost here
I begin while she continues her labors
She returns with weight as heavy as the world
My meal begins to reduce her worries
A wonderful meal
Her joy gives me unfathomable euphoria
Her delight is my divine quest
Her pleasure is my gratification

As I see it its almost true
The haze the woods the stream
My vision becomes true
I forget the truth this is a dream

The dream remains
We stay together and talk
About the future the past the present
As the night surrounds us we retire
To our chamber for the night
To alleviate her continued pressure
I perform her massage
I enjoy it as much as her
I touch everything her body mind and soul
Her essence is completely at peace
I join the bed at her side
We embrace in passionate sensual love
We both are at complete ecstasy
Our ****** is simultaneous
And our bliss infinite
As she drifts off to her slumber
I watch loving her with no abound
I feel so fortunate to be next to this beauty
I sleep with her head on my chest
Our souls are one

As I see it its complete
The haze the woods the stream
My concept is real
This is no longer false its no longer a dream

As I wake to start the day
I look to my side and there is nothing
I look around I am somewhere else
Where is this place
What has happened
Everything is not right
Nothing is where it should
My senses start to strengthen
My thoughts become clear
I curse everything I see
The heavens and the earth
I was just in bliss now in agony
What happened it was real
I curse God
Is this my nightmare or was that my dream
There is the answer I almost *****

As I see it it becomes clear
The haze the woods the stream
Its all lies
My heaven was just a dream

Angels above fly high above
Looking down with endless love
They see our pain and strife
Helping us throughout our life
When darkest days our to be seen
On angels wings are where to lean
Many times we forget
Our faith becomes broken and split
Yet still they watch and hold us right
Never letting us relent in our fight
When we are weak they make us strong
When were low they sing their song
We stumble we falter and sometimes fall
But just they’re presence can heal all
With sorrow agony and defeat
They’re voice we hear soft and sweet
So never forget when you are low
To look up and see their glow

The other night I had a dream that was too real not to be seen
Sitting on a bus mine heart felt a rush
A head gathered on my chest resting and relieving all your stress
Looking down my heart was warmed a feeling lost but now reformed
My arm draped around your head all your ill emotions have since fled
The single thing I have ever desired is for your angst to be retired
It looks now that it has succeeded my love for you has superseded
Your head sits such at peace my body acting as an armored fleece
My soul mission is your serenity your protector is my identity
My dream is so perfect I let it be leaning back not questioning my harmony
Your with me once again I finish my prayer and say amen
As I wake I am confused my situation I am bemused
Anger overcomes my still determination becomes my will
I will have my dream again regardless the stakes your head will rest no matter what it takes
At the wall I can only stare twas no dream it was a nightmare

You have given me purpose
You have given me stregnth
You have surprised me with love
I returned with blank

You loved me the way noone else has
You are the most beautiful thing
And you are my world
I don’t deserve it and that’s the sting

I will die a thousand deaths for just one chance
A chance for redemption
A chance for life
i could not live without a fight

If you don’t want it I understand
But before you I was never a man

You have given me a life to which I long
A world ive never known
Its an addiction now with a mind of its own

You gotten in my blood
And it just wont leave
I truly believe you’re my destiny

If I could take back the pain I would
But a fools promise is as good as a pile of wood

If the heavens would grant me a prayer for sinners sake
It would be you before all
I would choose to take

I have walked this road before
Its all the same
Everything is dark and damp
I am the man with no name

I have this thing to me unknown
Emotions newborn
Untraced in my saga
Feelings of forlorn

These emotions haunt me
Explanations aren’t tame
Unsure of what to do
Mine actions to blame

Still I walk this path
Things so strange
To me where once common
Now are out of range

This loner found a mate
Refused to trust
She wore me down
My façade is a bust

Now I have feelings
Reduced to rubble
I am not myself
My life has new trouble

This path I walk
Same though new
Rolling with the punches
Taking in the view

Its cold dark
The air moist
The ground damp
Choked my voice

The mirror I look
Im in this place
Reflection is strange
I am the man with no face

I prided myself in loneliness
But it was a farce

Ive never been dependent
Even when luck was sparce

To be fortunate enough to have been happy for while
Was my recent loss

Now I am but chaff in the wind
Or leaves in the moss

My prayer is for never to have loved
For it would not be so painful

Yet again I think one day with it
Is better then without a handful

My only wish was to have been more wise
To have not betrayed myself

Yet again the past is done
To learn is a my wealth

Mine only saving grace
Is there is some chance

That fear will go away
By you with just a glance

Why do I love you
Why do I care
Why do you mean so much
Why do I stare

Who am I
Who are you
Whos in your dreams
Who must I be to be yours true

Where am I going
Where was my road
Where are you  heading
Where is your abode

What have I become
What are you proving
What is your stake
What am I losing

When did this happen
When did you decide
When did I miss it
When have you lied

How do I move on
How can I lose you
How easily can you forget
How can this be true

These questions I ask
These questions have no truth
These questions give no solace
These questions give no proof

I know who I am
I am a man with my own code
A man with devotion that has no rival
My love for you is eternal
Match by no one else
One day you will see
The man you were always looking for
Has and will always be me
I will wait as long as it takes
For you to see
My love lasts for eternity
I have changed my world for you
At my  lowest point you claimed to love me
If it were true you will come back
On that fateful day of destiny
My hope is that I will be around for thee
You make me whole you make me right
You are my day you are my night
Despite how much I try
Ceasing to care makes me cry
Nothing in this world is not worth sacrificing
For a woman like you
You are too special to not pursue
I will change my existence
I will sell my heart
I will continue my persistence
For you are worth my heart
You knew me then
You know me now
You know me through my soul
If you would only look into you heart
You would see I am the man that holds the key
I can make you happy for all the days of you life
We two are destined to be partners
Husband and wife
I have betrayed you once and I will never forgive
I can only promise with all my soul
I am and will always be yours
Till the day that I die I will give my all
I want to be there for you better or worse
Through blessing and curse
You are the one I have waited for
God sent you to me
For you and me
We are destined to be
Nothing will change my heart and soul
My promises still stand
My love is true through all trials and all tribulations
For you I will battle all dragons
I will make all sacrifices and face all demons
Until the day that you see I will patiently wait
For that day of lovely fate

It is terrible
It is beautiful
It can make you empty
It can make you full

Gives you death
Gives you birth
Gives you nothing
Gives you worth

Its wonderful
Its magic
Its crazy
Its tragic

Fights war
Makes peace
Creates destruction
Lets it cease

It makes sense
It makes none
Its an irony
It’s a pun

Transcribes  odysseys
Writes  tragedies
Volumes of profits
Hordes of calamities

Makes you walk
Makes you crawl
Picks you up
Lets you fall

Its itself
Its reverse
It’s the same
Its converse

Wants you to surrender
Wants you to fight
Picks your battles
Chooses your plight

If you know
You lead the race
If you don’t
Your in the same place

Could be pigeon
Could be a dove
Could be hate
But no its love

He sees it all
Life death devil and God
The entire cosmos fills his mind
His vision becomes broad

No regrets cross his thoughts
He has done his mission
A glorious death
With no submission

It was ordain at his birth
His greatest gift was given
Greater than any other
His destiny written



Ahead he see the gates
Shining in all grandeur
Guarded by creations best
Then comes a force majeure

A face comes to him
A complete offender
Judging and wounding
He is the pretender

Unsure of what to do he fights
Alone as always he battles
But time is different
The universe rattles

A light shines
A voice bellows
The pretender cowers
The noise echoes

The great liar recedes
Let not your spirit sway
The voice commands
I’ve been with you the whole way

I have been troubled for many a year
To understand my lifes claim

For reasons which are still unclear
To mine heart you came

I prayed for you
And beautifully you came

My fear was felt
This cannot be true

Am I deserving of such a woman
I had thought not until I lost you

I was blessed with you for a time
But fear left me blind  

Since that time I have become ill
Myself in unrelenting anquish

To why would I be deserving
I have done nothing to keep it

Nor have done anything to show it
Now I sit alone praying for my lifes pinnacle

Alas I am a broken man once again praying for you
Would the heavens grant miracle two

Though it is impossible to hope
That lightening should strike twice

I will always believe you can come back
For you and you alone are my permanent vice

I am not perfect but this I swear to you
No  man has ever been lucky enough

To know love like I had with you

My heart is strained
My heart is aching
My heart is stayed
Gold is its shade

My core is harsh
My core is bold
My core is shy
Green with envy is its dye

My head is hot
My head is hard
My head is on loan
Red with rage is its tone

My soul is sad
My soul is longing
My soul is new
Blue with sorrow is its hue

My being is unsure
My being is untrue
My being is a loss
Yellow with fear is its wash

gold green red yellow and blue
These are the colors of me
Before during and after you

These are the colors of me
These colors are true
To know them like I will make you free

Feelings I have always put on a shelf
You have made active
These are the colors of myself

Your colors are more rare
I don’t think you know them
To learn them gives you a scare