Mind and body numb
Disbelief growing by leaps and bounds.
Everything I held dear gone overnight,
All because of jealousy.

There is no dealing with a jealous mind,
No hearing the truth with a jealous ear.
No other emotion is so destructive on earth
So subtle, but destroys from within.

Even when the accuser is guilty of the same,
A jealous eye cannot see.
Abuse heaped upon abuse is thrown
Until all is whirled in a heart wrenching cyclone of words.

Laid waste is my heart, my soul and my mind.
Destroyed is my love, my life and the us we had.
My objections not heard, my tears leave you unmoved.
The cyclone has taken another.

It sings to me
On the dark side of midnight.
The deep, throbbing song
Courses through my veins.

It robs me of sleep
With its hurtful music;
Woven throughout me a
Sadistic opera of pain.

Screeching aria’s fill my
Head with brain-snapping sound,
While the chorus accompanies
With low, deep down thrumming.

Once begun, this opera of horror
Will sing for hours at a time.
No breaks allowed for this
Captive audience of one.

It sings until satisfied
My body won’t be worth a ****.
Wrung limp from the awful music
Of the tortuous performance.

Sung to me from the dark side of midnight.


4/1/11   (c) Peggy Montgomery

The warm, chocolate gaze in your eyes,
promises safety, love and home.
Laughter lives in there, too, but also pain,
and mysteries of unknown size.
While quick with a smile or a laugh
and born to protect,
at times, when unguarded, your face reveals
heartaches, kept hidden away.
On rare occasions, a word will be spoken
and a glimpse into the pain is shared.
Callous, ignorant remarks made to a small
impressionable child.
Scars carried over time through the years.
Shaping. Molding. Into the man you became.
Even as an adult, racial slurs slung absently about
by so called educated men.
Always driven to do better, be better than everyone else,
because of one thing.
Always harder on yourself than anyone else.
Driven to excellence by prejudice.

The smile that you see
Was painted on this morning,
Right after my makeup and hair were done.
The finishing touch, the mask is in place.
Now no one can see what is inside of me.

The laugh that you hear, the normal chit chat;
All made with a herculean effort.
When you look in my eyes
Do you see light shining there?
Or does the darkness still wait where no one can see?

The effort to live grows more every day,
As the pain takes over my life.
To move, to do, to just even breathe,
At times, is almost more than I can bear.
I want to stay here in my dark world alone,
Alone, so no one can see.

Through the darkness in my head
My obsession has once again risen.
While in the throes of madness unleashed,
The evil within, unbridled, free rein was given.

What havoc was wrought and damage was done,
When society’s norms and politeness were no more.
Friendship long cultivated and relished by me
In my darkness, was damaged to the core.

Things were said, I know not what.
Things not remembered, in the darkness in my mind.
Only a message received from one held so dear.
“You overstepped the line, Friend, our ties no longer bind.”

Gone now, forever, someone once so dear,
While in the darkness, the madness, hidden in my mind.
I’ve since asked forgiveness, but the damage was great.
When caught in obsession, in madness, I was unkind.

The Ride of the Huntsman


The Queen of the Sidhe has given her command
The Huntsman gathers the hellhounds,
All of Faerie feel the shiver go round
The hunt is about to begin.
The wild Sidhe feel the call,
The joy of the hunt fills their veins,
They will run with the hounds over hill and dale
Until the creature is found.
The Huntsman blows his mighty horn,
Gathering his Fey to his side.
He mounts his fire breathing steed of night
And into the dark they will ride.
NonFaerie folk know nothing of this.
But something is making them quake.
Into their homes they quiver and hide
The realm of the Fey roam outside.
Through the night they run never stopping to rest,
The creature must pay for his crimes.
The Queen has issued the death hunt,
And tonight, something will die.
So tonight, if something calls you outside
To run with the wild Sidhe hunt
Do not disobey the Huntsman call
Or the Hellhounds will take you to ride.

Tis the witching hour and I am once again locked in a battle with you, my old foe.

My love lies sleeping, unaware of the fight raging around him, and I wish it to remain so.

What has it been?  Ten years now that we fight, and each year you gain a little more ground.

You have stolen bits of my life over time, some of my joy, returning to me pain and darkness, trying to keep me down.

My face and body look young still, but it is my soul that bears the scars of our war.  You do not fight fair.

The weapon you wield most often, pain, comes and goes and the sneak attacks you use with flair.

But your ultimate weapon, The Darkness, has done the most damage and I fear it is that one thing that will allow you to win.

When The Darkness has me in his evil grip, I have no strength with which to fight the pain or his dark assault and life is at its most grim.

I long for the brief periods of time when the pain is only a dull ache and I can pretend I am again well.

But too quickly, too fast, you pounce again and we return to our war and my life, again, is hell.

One weapon I have against you is to write you out on paper.  Some may see it as complaining.

I say let them come join me in my war for one battle.  See how Pain and Darkness over my life are reigning.

Yes, Tis the witching hour and the skies dark and stormy. Your preferred time and weather for attack.

Well enemy mine, I’m awake and writing, trying hard to attack you right back.

I know who will be the ultimate winner in our war of pain, darkness and fright.

But tonight, you won’t win this battle, old foe.  I’m writing you out of my night.

My soul is hot with need.
My body aches with the fire.
Your kiss of passion pours into me and feeds the flames of love.

Your fingers leave trails of hot coals down my skin
And with loves most intimate kiss, you bring me,
Screaming as the waves cool my fevered body.

I taste me on your lips as we are one.  The world dissolves away
And for moments it is only you and me,
One heart beating, one body moving,
One breath,
One soul.

You look into my eyes and Eros’ arrow finds his mark
Quick, painful pleasure released,
And again, we are two.

Two hearts pounding,
Sweat pouring,
Heat released,
The fire dampened, passion waning.

Sleep comes.  
A murmured word of love.

Sweet release.

Frustration, aggravation, confusion, and irritation.
I don’t understand why you make me feel this way.
Do you try to irritate, to aggravate?
Do you frustrate and confuse to amuse you?
Games that you play are getting in the way.
We could be so good, but the games that you play…
Make me want to get as far away as I can from you.
Always underfoot, always within hearing, I cannot understand
Why you think this is so endearing.
You need to stop and think about what you are killing.
It is a chance at a great romance, but you would rather play your games.
Go away, Little Man, until you can understand.
Perhaps then there will be room for you, but don’t expect me to wait.
I can find someone else who won’t frustrate, aggravate, confuse, or irritate.
Yeah!

A mother’s hands cool fevered brows,
Warm little hands when cold winds blow.
A mother’s hands wipe away tears of pain,
And applaud the actions that joy brings.

A mother’s heart grows with each child,
Making room for each new life.
A mother’s heart knows soaring heights,
As well as the most anguished pains of night.

A mother’s smile can show such pride,
Or hide the disappoint from her child.
A mother’s smile is the warmest around.
To bask in one is worth heavens crown.

A mother’s love is a special thing,
Offering acceptance, comfort and peace.
A mother’s love cannot be earned,
Tis’ a love that blooms before a child’s birth.

And when a mother holds her newborn babe,
The love she feels explodes in her heart.
Each mother makes this very same vow.
To protect and love forever whether near or apart.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mother’s around the world.


copyright  Peggy Montgomery 4/26/11

My hero, my heart, in your arms I sigh,
To listen to you breathe, your pure passions heat,
In creamy dreams of sweetness long gone by,
And taste your precious kisses; wild wonder sweet.

To open mine eyes in moons’ silver light
And see your face next to mine in our bed;
I would shower you with love in deep night.
Beautiful warrior; who chose me to wed.

But alas, I lie alone and in tears,
Dreaming of you in my arms through night dark.
For a warrior goes to fight without fear,
Leaving his love pining for his sweet spark.

I will wait forever, in this, my fate.
For you, my hero, my lover, my mate.



copyright 4/25/2011  Peggy Montgomery

Ice cream melting too fast,
Can’t even catch the drips.
Twilight squeals of little kids at play
Outside my window.

Sultry summer breezes cooling my skin,
Cool splash of water at the pool.
Sippin’ a Mai Tai in the afternoon shade;
People watching with my man.

Time seems to slow down
Just a tiny bit
As the sun warms the air.
Birds sing. Lawns are mowed.

Summertime.
Livin ain’t easy but life seems
Just a little less frantic when it’s warm.

Open mouth and out fly lies.
Truth is much easier.
Habit perhaps.
Why?

Trust destroyed here.
Truth required to rebuild it.
Just continued deceit,
And repeat.

Tears and heartbreak overwhelm.
Your heart pickled by abuse.
Do I stay?
And cry?

I see the you that once was.
The you I loved.
I want that one back.
Are you gone forever?

Habit that I stay.
Truth that I love you.
Lie that I can’t leave.
Heartbreak.

Awakened by your gentle touch,
Your fingers playing over my body.
We have played this symphony before
Each note plucked from your memory.

The high notes are brought by the caress of my *******
You carefully bring the melody;
Flutes play as my ******* are kissed.
It’s getting harder and harder to breathe.

Sleep still feigned I enjoy your symphony as your
Hands conduct the musical torture.
Trying so hard to stay still as I can
When you head south of the border.

I sigh as you follow with hot searing kisses
Trying so hard to awaken me.
I peak at you and a giggle escapes.
Well, my little hoax is all but over.

Down to the ******* you go,
Determined to have your way.
You dip your fingers into the pool of desire
And I float willingly away.

You play my body like an instrument of desire
A maestro of passion you are.
The years you spent learning to play me well spent
I sing the hallelujah song like a choir.

A diva I am and always will be,
You give me a standing ovation.
My maestro gives a contented sigh,
And rolls over and goes back to sleep.

This déjà’ vu’ we call life
Makes me feel like drowning in sadness.
It is all happening again,
Same way, same anger, same blame.
Is it even worth fighting for anymore?

Bruised and damaged, bandaged and ******
This thing we once called love.
It is gone from your eyes now.
Only anger remains; anger and accusations.

I feel the way I did then,
Fighting a losing battle,
Swimming upstream
Slowly drowning in my tears
Knowing in my heart what is to come.

Am I afraid?  I don’t know anymore.
I am not angry.  Just tired.
Some things are worth fighting for,
But how many times do I have to fight for you?

**** feelings.  They only bring more **** feelings,
The painful kind.  The heart hurting kind.  
The, I’m going out of my own **** mind, kind.

I don’t want to have a conscience anymore.
I want to do as I please and the hell with the consequences.
Sleep with whomever I want and just get up and leave.

No false niceties, just bodies slapping together in mindless bliss,
Then out the freakin door.  No, don’t call me and I won’t call you.
And No, you weren’t the best I’ve ever had.

I don’t want a mortgage or a car payment.  I want to take the bus
And to sleep where ever I can find a place.  I want no ties to anyone.
I want to go and to do.  I want to try whatever vice I please.

I feel too much.  I empathize too ******* much.  I feel your **** pain.
I hurt every freaking day and I would **** to spend just five minutes to be pain free.
Is that so **** much to ask?  Just five Minutes??

I look at you and know if you are having a good day or bad,
I don’t want to care anymore.  I just want to be me.
The Real Me.  Not this painted up version of me that the entire world sees.

Oh God, I just don’t want to feel anymore.

Hair in a pony tail, ball cap on.
Wearin’ my team colors, ready to rock on.
Husband agitated cause I’m makin’ him wait.
Hey, gotta have my face on, I gotta look great!
Finally at the ballpark, game already rockin’.
Peanut shells crunchin’ quickly walkin’.
“Excuse me, Pardon me”.  Finally to our seats.
Hot dog and a beer.  This is hard to beat.
Into the first inning and our team at the plate.
Ooh, it’s my favorite player and he is lookin’ great!
Strike one.  Ball one.  Strike two and then,
A crack as wood meets leather and that ball is gone forever.
As one, the crowd roars and on our feet we stand and grin,
We watch our hero round the bases and bring that first run in.
Back and forth the score goes; it’s the bottom of the ninth inning.
Two outs already, bases loaded, our last chance at winning.
Crowd silent, on our feet as my hero takes his stance.
Only down by one, we know this is his chance.
They’ve brought the “closer” in, the one with all the skills.
He’s throwin’ heat, he’s throwin’ low, he’s going for the ****.
A nasty strike zooms o’er the plate and a collective gasp is heard.
My guy steps back, deep breath in, and not a single word.
Ball one is what the next pitch is and the crowd begins to whisper,
My batter glares toward the mound, “That all you got there, Mister?”
The pitcher shakes off two signals from the catcher,
Checks the runners on the bases, winds up the widow maker.
Like lightning that ball leaves his hand, and with a mighty swing,
He hits the best grand slam homerun that we have ever seen.
Our team has won, the crowd goes wild, the stadium is rockin’!
Our boys are roundin’ those bases and not a one of them is walkin’!
Hand slappin’ our seat mates and huggin on each other.
A long night of baseball ended.  Don’t you just love those boys of summer?


Copyright, 9/8/09 Peggy Montgomery

When did my fire go out?
The flames sizzle in the pain?
Anger dousing my passion.

The feeling of being a woman...
The wanting you as a man...
Distant memories, fading desires.

Are the embers still there?
Can they be re-lit with care?
I want to want you again.

To kiss your sweet face
To hold you in loves sweet embrace,
But how do I forgive?

How do I gather up the pieces of a broken heart
Shattered and scattered.
And fan smoldering passions dying flame.

Tears threaten again and the hurt is so much
They dampen the still glowing spark.
There is so much to forgive.

Where do I start?
I must begin with my own heart.
Before I can hope to regain passions flame.

So long ago, the day we met,
It still brings a smile to my lips.
Me; hard at work in that small ER,
You; cocky and hot in your blues.

I was already seeing someone that day,
I wasn’t that impressed with you.
But you had such a cute view from behind,
Yeah, your **** is what attracted me, Dear.

When we finally met again and went out,
I liked your laugh and your hands.
I liked the way you missed your kids and
The way you held me in your arms.

We talked through the night and
Found in each other, the person we
Both had been searching for.

Now 24 years later I still get a thrill
When I see you in your uniform of blue.
Just turn and walk away from me, Babe.
Yeah, I still like that rear view.

The willow tree with buds of green,
Doves busy building a nest in her branches.
Early in the morning now, the birdsong awakens me.
I think there is a change that will soon be seen.

Newly green blades of grass are trying to grow in the yard.
The lilac bush in the corner there has tiny buds pushing hard.
Wasps, those evil stinging things, have awoken from their stupor,
It’s time to find their hidey hole and get them while it’s cooler.

Soon, everything will be back in bloom,
Mother Nature will don her robe of newly minted colors.
It is time to awaken from our winter blahs,
Spring is replacing winters cold and gloom.

Warm, sunny days and cool, spring nights,
Gentle rains bring forth petal’d delights.
The hills change from brown to green,
Oh, I am so happy that it is Spring!



3/20/2011,  Peggy Montgomery

In my mind’s eye I see him;
Lazing on some distant shore,
Warm breezes caressing his cinnamon skin
As my calls he chooses to ignore.

In disgust I ball up the paper,
And throw it into the trash.
I send out another plea for his help,
As my ideas continue to crash.

My muse is a heartless soul.
Only showing up when he deems fit.
As you can see by this little ode to him,
He was nowhere around when I wrote it.

Velvet night falls,
Peaceful night sounds call.
Sleep eludes me tonight.
Quietness surrounds,
Stars shine down,
Small points of light in the canvas above.
I am alone but not lonely,
Thoughts tumble and churn
In a mind too awake to slumber.
My cat purrs at my side
Content to just be;
Not demanding, just here in the moment.
Peaceful and serene
No loud noises to ruin my dreams.
If only I could close my eyes
And slip away.

When first you hold that new babe in your arms,
You vow to protect him from all evil or harm.
No love like this have ever you known,
Until you hold this new life, this babe, your own.

The years pass by and with every scrape and tear,
You pull your small one close and hold them near,
Wishing deep in your heart you could take every pain,
Make it yours to withstand, but alas, this wish is in vain.

Our babes must hurt, must suffer and grow,
All the while, we watch, our hearts aching so.
We do what we can to protect them and yet,
In spite of us, somehow, they grow and we fret.

We worry when they are late from a date,
We imagine them lost to the worst kind of fate.
Eyes rolling and with huge sighs at our concerns,
They ignore our admonishments and skip up to their rooms.

Even after you have both lived through those teenage years,
Filled with drama, angst, heartbreak and tears.
When they have become adults on their own,
That protective feeling is there where’re’ they may roam.

And when you hold their young babe to your breast,
The protectiveness renews itself with the little one’s breathe,
The circle of life goes on and the love is revived,
When your babe becomes a young parent. This is good.  This is life.

It was so hot I was afraid to breathe,
The air so thick, there was nary a breeze.
The sun fried down, trying hard to bake
Our dusty town into a caramel cake.

No birds in the trees, no kids out at play,
Only sound you could hear were the a/c’s that day.
The weathermen gloating about a record high,
Who cares about that when we’re all about to die?

What is that we see?  Off in the distance there?
Could it be a cloud on the horizon?  Do we dare?
Hope builds as do the clouds in the sky,
Only to crash as the rains go rushing on by.

It is too hot for any rain to fall here.
It gets dried up before it even gets near.
So we continue to sweat, to moan and complain,
And wish for winter, when we will be missing summer again.



Copyright  Peggy Montgomery  7/30/2011

The last time I saw you,
Hope shown from your eyes,
A smile lit your face and you were ready.

The last words I heard from your mouth were
“I love you”.
I said them back as the elevator doors were closing.
We smiled at each other and waved goodbye.

When I heard you were gone the next morning
My world stopped for a moment.
There would be no hope for you now.

But also no more pain.
No more suffering.
God had taken you home.

I still miss you so much.

HEY, You there, hiding in your squalid digs,
behind the towers of pizza boxes and empty beer cans.
Your only ******* with the world through that screen,
What gives you the right to be a downright ***** pig?

I’m not talkin’ bout how you live, that’s your choice,
but I do have a voice when it comes to what you say,
day after day, spewing hatred on us folks who try to bring
beauty to this world.  In words.
You rant and you rave in hate filled blather
how we don’t know what the **** we are doing.

Easy to say when you hide away behind the screen of anonymity.
Come out and face the world, ******.  Come to my house and talk.
NO?  Then you would have to face ME!!  Writer of words, holder of truths,
You, too afraid to be seen.
I hate people like you, cowards all.  ******* cowards!!  Go back to your
empty, pitiful lives and spew your bile some more.
I know where my delete key is.

Talking loud, making my head hurt.
Does that make the words any more truthful?
Your view of things so askew from mine.
Are we finally at the point of no return?

Apathy, anger, disbelief, and slight pain.
These are the emotions that flit over me.
Anger seems to be taking the fore front,
I feel the beginning of the slow burn.

Years spent with you gone in a moment.
Thrown away over your own pride.
Accused of things that are not defendable.
Useless to argue; unheard. That I did learn.

Not supportive, too controlling, just like your mother.
Words hurled like daggers, trying to hurt.
Some are laughable, some hit their mark,
You, you, you coming through like a chant.

Accused of being almighty and manipulative,
Accused of being hateful and full of spite.
If I am such a person as this,
Our marriage is doomed, it won’t last. It can’t.

How you stood me for so many years?
A terrible creature such as me?
The names you have called me must be fitting.
They cross your lips more and more now.

The things I accomplished belittled so, now.
The tears choked back fiercely.
I won’t give in to them, no way, no how.

So as this final curtain descends
I will come and take my final bow.
It was a good life, a good marriage, up until today,
When craziness entered our lives and took you away.

H ey, Did you see what that witch just did?
A ll come hither smiles and soulless eyes:  who is she trying to kid?
L ord knows, she thinks there’s not a man on earth can resist her,
L ook how she prowls around this room, looking for her next mister.
O h no she did not do what I think she did!
W itch better watch her backside before this knife between her ribs gets slid!
E veryone knows that’s my man she’s looking at.
E vil better not even think about messin with that.
N ever gonna take my man away from me.  He knows heaven and exactly where it be!

Little thrills of maybe
Lead to daydreams of possibilities.
The dark desires of wantonness
Interspersed with heady lust.

Memories of lips meeting hers
So much told in that first kiss.
Passion, tenderness and hot molten desire
All told as lips meet for the first time.

Smells of desire intermingle with perfumed skin,
Hot, fevered touching in the night
Whispered exchanges of half words and moans
As lovers climb the ladders toward fulfillment.

Heavy breathing exhausted lovers lie in each other’s arms.
He holds her close and she hears his heart
Knowing it belongs to another; grateful for the few moments they spend together.
He dresses to leave and takes another small piece of her heart with him.

Easy promises made in the heat of passion
Broken quickly by her faithless lover.
Still, she waits for the thrill of the maybe,
That lead to her dreams of what is possible.

Watching the talking heads
Tell me how cold it is outside,
I am very glad I am warm in bed
And don’t have to join in that ride.

Snow has frosted our part of the world
With its cold, icy topping of white.
Cars are crawling slowly to work
Hoping not to become part of a giant ice rink.

Some kids get snow days and some have to go,
I wonder who makes these unfair decisions.
With my own long grown I just hope they are safe
And don’t have any icy cold car rink collisions.

So for my own snow day I will stay warm and play
At being the writer I’m not.
I’ll fill my day reading then sleep a few hours away,
And count the few blessings I’ve got.

He has come for me again.
A date for which I am never ready.
Dressed in his garb of gray, with
Slashes of red and purple showing through.
Colors so bright, I shield my eyes.
If I am brave enough to look directly at him,
I see black surrounding his form.

It is not a pleasant date.
He takes much pleasure in my pain.
His colors seem to brighten as my moans intensify.
The gray stays constant.  
Foggy, cemetery gray, that chills me to the bone.
His presence makes me bury my head
And long to be alone.

The color of pain may be different for each person,
For me, this is what I see.
Gray and black, with flashes of red and purple.
Until, at last, the narcotic god loosens pain’s hold on me,
And he is left to find another victim to torment.
Until next time I am weary and unguarded.

He will return for another date and
Envelop me in his cold, gray arms of agony,
And kiss me with his red lips of searing, hot pain,
Leaving behind the purple marks of his touch.
Each visit, his blackness grows just a little more.
When will it be that Black will be all I see?

Pain.
You rule my world, my nights, my dreams.
What I wouldn’t give to be without you for a moment;
To be free of your hot grasp for fleeting seconds.

I would sell my soul to be free of you, almost.
It has not come to that point yet, but still….
You have ruined the person I once was,
And stolen the romance away from my life.

The dreams I had for my golden years have been erased.
There will be no second chances now.
Ahead, for me, is only agony.
Which will end when I do.

The question is…when will I fold and make it quicker?