You may be wanting from me
Something profound
Some great masterpiece
Something that demands awe
And expands your mind

Something so wonderful
That The Thinker
Will have something to
Ponder on forever
In his ageless, stoic, iron pose
Wondering of its great depth
And wisdom!

But to heck with that!

I want to write of fluff
And all that stuff
Something of bubblegum *****
And unicorn dreams
Something of kittens
Doing summersaults
Something of polka dots
On Dalmations

I don't want to solve
The worlds problems!
I don't want to be a
A nobel laureate!

I want to write of fluff
And all that stuff
Of honey dripping
Off the sugar trees
Of the moon
Made out of cheese
I'll solve the world's problems
Another time!
For now allow me
That fantasy!

This is how it's goin' be!
drama unfolds
only when *****'s
ain't where they posed to be!
mindin' they own!
doin' they thang!
whisperin' like
*****'s,
bout anotha *****'s intentions.
how they goin' get rich
off anotha *****'s inventions.
anotha *****'s invention... what?

Beware!

of a cousin named distant
or a father named, missin'
I'ma *******
that's determined
to bring this
to your attention.

listen!

and maybe you will know
how to play yo position!

distance!

yo' self from the negative
just be
relentless.

maybe...

I should love me
for what I'm worth?
or maybe
the television
or the news
has to show
a ***** first!

maybe...

I hate livin
because the struggles to great
but
what I choose
affects the little ones
that
I help create... I help create!

I ventured out on my own
too young
as a kid.
****** up
and landed on my ***!

gotdamn!

again?

couldn't stand my mama!
she tried to
box me in.
not realizin'
mama
was tryin' to raise

two... black... men!

This self-centered heart keeps on beating
My weak mind won’t just lay down and die
Numbly grasping for truth to hold onto
What you can’t feel cannot satisfy

My high horse is just an illusion
I’m swamped in **** up to my knees
At my best I am easy to disappoint
At my worst I’m so **** hard to please.

Can you taste the desire in my kiss, boy?
It’s not you that I’ve been looking for
I don’t want anyone in particular
I prefer for my heart to be sore

Pick me up off the ground or come join me
While I hide myself deep in the grass
I don’t know how I’m here in the first place
I don’t know when this fever will pass

Should I just want this all to be over?
Do I savor and capture and seize?
This young heart may seem easy to break, love -
But it’s locked, even I have no keys.

You lifted the veil between the worlds known by many
To walk a rarely trod path, chosen by few
While seeking to find an existence somewhere in between
Instead, you found a world with different rules

You were drawn in to a mysterious place of allure
Where the wolves howl at the moon
Paying homage to the glorious face of delight
While listening to the stars sweet tune

Each new corner you rounded brought sights anew
Sometimes frightening in their glare
As glowing eyes emerged from the brush in the forest
Revealing creatures from ancient nightmares

The glow of the moonlight brought visions so fair
Of maidens and knights on wild steeds
You watched in awe and wonder as they fell in love
And honor brought them to their knees

You walked further and further away from the world
Of which we all know and understand
Finding freedom to embrace the mysteries of life
Your imagination at your command

Now the time has come to return to this world
Which you know and understand well
Come enlighten us all with the tales you weave
Tell us all, what is under the veil

Copyright *Neva Flores @2010

So blind
to not see
what I've become.
Hope
Is for suckers.
I don't learn
from my idiotic
choices.
Once I've rescued
my heart
from the gutter,
it is submerged
into a pile of
steaming ****,
from my own doing.
You'd think
falling on my face
so many times
would teach
me a valuable lesson.
Nothing could be
further from
the truth.
I am to the point
of giving up.
It seems like
the right
thing to do.
But, I know
I won't.
I have to push
on and see
how much longer
I can go.
One day.
One day,
I will see the light.

Some day.

© Dead Men Publishing

I am Mad!
Mad at myself for believing in others
Mad at others for letting me down.
Sometimes I wish I would be vain, wrathful, selfish
I sometimes want to fullfil my inner desires.
Sometimes I want to drink that Hatred poison
Be consumed by greed
And every vice that comes with, I confess!
For it is not fair
Why must I suffer the lash of a whip
Of which I do not deserve?
Or do I deserve everything that comes my way, good or bad?

Why do I come to you holding my plate as you prepare a meal?
I am not on my knees.
Is it because you say you will feed me
And so I take comfort knowing I will eat
But really you do not consider me a portion of your food
So I am left hungry.

A hungry man is an angry man.

I have ill will towards you now.
I wish you drop dead on the table
Just so I can finish your meal.
Why do you torment me so?
As you sit there stuffing your face until you struggle to chew
You pretend as though I do not exist.
I ask for a small bit
You say there is not enough.
It's never enough for you
I hope you choke on your meal, you Glutton!

But I dont really mean it.
You are in the hands of the Lord, your fate is His decision.
I chastise myself for being so gullible
For having no dignity
And having swallowed only my pride
Letting it happen.
Why should I suffer in your hands
As you crush me with a squeeze as you please?
I feel satisfaction at the hands of my own self infliction thank you
So I whip myself until I bleed...
And bleed...and Bleed!...
But not a single drop let
And not a single tear shed.

I smile when I am done
For I have forgiven myself.
I thank you
This will never happen to me again.
I am Stronger and Wiser now.
Now I shall fend for myself in the Hands of the Lord.