i hate

this feeling

of         my head

pounding                      against my skull

        i hate

        looking at
     my
          deformed figure

      and thinking
                       i am not good enough

                                i
                hate
                                        my bones
                                        my smile
                                        my fingers
                                        my skin
                                        my shape
                                        my self

your smile is like a sunrise in my heart
it melts my frozen heart
into a pool of your words
where i drown in the soft sound of your voice
and i listen to the cries, my heart broken in two

i reach out my hand to hold your head
and instead lift a boulder
that has rolled through the darkest of caves
and has seen the deepest side of hell
but has found its way into my weak arms

i just want to see you smile
and forget that the world is spinning
and time is turning
because all i want to see
is your rising sun

- dan

i’m rotting
my thoughts are overflowing
like a hurricane they blow
i can’t breath
i can’t see
i’m drowning in a wave of anxiety
my words are the knives in my heart
my cries the thunder, and my urge the earthquake
it shatters through me
breaking every bone and vessel
until i am covered in my own blood
and drenched in my own fear

- dan