I feel that there's a cage inside my being
no matter how ******* high I jump
I never reach the ceiling
turn on the daily news and all I see is killing
bullets fly from clips but there isn't really meaning
in the blood shed that's spilling ever further
I don't even want to be a ******* father
cause my kids would inherit a sub par
school system, and it'd be worse if I got a daughter
guys with sick thoughts always picking on her
what happened to good old fashioned honor?
Hell I can barely afford community college
It's not like I'm a low life, just got an empty wallet
Work a minimum wage job if thats what you want to call it
but even 9 dollars an hour doesn't count as profit
when the government turns around, grabs half a pay check and swallows it
The good get put on blast while the bad get ******* all of it.

It's 2:00 AM
Smoke halos ring
my head
a split second of death
till they break with my breath.
Sleepless, dreams retreat
at the sight of me
flit in and out of the light
whispering,
"You're going to have
another one of those
nights."

You asked about the tattoo,
taken aback when it wasn't attached
to my two year, too much, relationship.
That's all I gave but you persisted
so the explanation that most people's guesses
missed it,
led to the part that no one fits in my heart,
and when they do
the same spot on my left arm will have a fresh,
brand new,
tattoo.

I don't know how else to say this
I've waited, I'm patient, *******.
I keep my kind heart, selfless, but helpless
and loveless.
I'm tired of sleeping alone, or even just not
having cute voice mails on my phone.
Tired of putting my neck out
and getting chopped and not bit
and I know swearing is unattractive
but **** it, this is *******.
I'm a good kid, for the most part.
Never put people in harms way
don't bash on those who aren't the same.
I love people, I love them so much,
their laughs, voices, touch
so why am I laying alone again,
what is my sin!?
What the **** did I do?
Why do I mean nothing to you,
and you,
and you.

I've slowly fallen, like Satan, from the graces
swapped paces and places, to capture different faces
but the wanderlust on my breath is strong, taste this
It's hard to bond when half the time I'm gone
black hair, curves, four leafed clover thong,
afternoons snoozing and browsing Netflix
flashes of my life till I'm on to the next bit
I can't get no respite, I just might break my next flight
for this chick, hopeless romantic, can't stand it
but lately I've been ghost on this whole scene
mind stolen like my future is a bandit
who's mind set is all about the greed
a fiend for the green presidents that sink further into my dreams
calling my name, telling me it's worth the pain to gain
have pockets on swoll with no shame to get a foothold in the game
thousands would be pocket change but the man in the mirror
doesn't look so set, half ******, dressed for bed
wishing he could disappear for a bit, maybe never come back
the king of disappearing, yeah he likes the sound of that.

Still lonely.

The thought of light beams
painting your thighs and collar
just a bit tanner
as you offer in a smaller than normal voice,
"I could sunbathe in your backyard"
is more than enough.

I'm coffee and you are cigarettes
I keep you going
while you **** my slowly