I've stayed at my mom's
an extra week and a half
because my car's transmission crashed
anxious to get back
but laying late in my old bedroom
which nibbles at me
filled to the brim with
eighteen years of my life
I start to cry, to pray
that the mechanic calls
and tells me it'll take him
a few more days

My parents might say
I've grown up since I left the Bay
that Long Beach has seen me mature
sure I'm older, more composed
but if you ask me,
I just feel detached
and lonely.

wake up with a hangover charm
not grumpy but maybe five yards from
being up beat
lazy strums on my old guitar
didn't bother with pants or
socks on my feet
only had the nerve to
brush the left half of my teeth
I make breakfast in my boxers
at a quarter past five
finally a touch of feeling alive
by still too wounded to go for a drive
stay inside sounds more like the ticket
stay awake too late with all of the crickets
take my pick, lick it and stick it
won't do the body no harm
have a goodnight beer
to give me another morning
of my hangover charm

my fingers don't move
quite fast enough to melt faces
my voice doesn't go
quite high enough to send shivers
through folks
my words only capture
the gist
it feels like I'm always
not quite
good enough

I sit on the hill
seeing Martinez light up
as the sun passes behind the cusp
of Mt. Diablo
this dirt witnessed me turn old,
has stories to tell,
a well of sorrows spent and sorrows kept
it's seen the laughter
along with emptiness
my souls settles like dust
after a gust of unrest, turbulence
while the Great Plains call
my name rustling through the grass
my heritage, past lives pushing
pulling
controlling, unbeknownst to me
sitting silent with the
Bay Area
trees

it slipped my mind
that January
always feels like a cemetary

greetings Darkness
you always sink into the ground
when Light isn't around
only pesky Moon
tries to ward you away
soon Moon won't shine
for just one night
and Light will fail its
daily battle
you'll rattle with inky conquest
rejoice in the hours
at your disposal
all yours
all Dark
I'll envy you then
more than I've ever envied
that pesky Moon
or too bright Light
I want to topple your throne
and be the ruler of quiet
Night