1:31
feet up
soul peeled
layers open;
blood or metal?
who gives a ****,
they taste the same.

'Whenever I was with you I would flourish with happiness.
No drug would ever make me feel as alive as you could.
I swear all the anger in the world could disintegrate with the way I look at you.'

But you weren't a fool, you knew I was hopelessly In love with you. I couldn't hide it, it was written all over my face. But you only fell In love with my body not my soul. I only let you because I knew having a tiny part of you was better than not having you at all.

You would give me all the love and warmth I desired then pull me back out just because you could. When you realized you had gone too far, you'd look at me with a blank stare and a cold heart and spit out the words 'I don't love you'. Every single time you said it the pain would devour my body right in front of you. I knew that you didn't care, but I couldn't stop loving you. Even after my heart became dust from you tearing it apart.

It's late
Almost midnight
Your eyes are sealed and sleeping not far from mine
on my mind
As usual
I regret not saying
I love you tonight.
I'm scared you'll get tired of hearing it and forget it means something.
Kinda like the *** that doesn't mean a thing anymore.
I'm terrified I'm losing you to the spaces I can't seem to find
But they exist because why else would you be feeling an ocean between our shores.
I feel it too and it terrifies me.
There's a bridge in your mind
you're on one side surrounded by water turning red
I have a superficial hold that
may break like a vine wrapped around a tree
What's changed I can't quite say
But I need you right now
To tell me you won't go
but you're sleeping
And I'm feeling like I'm about to cry because you mean more than the world
But something is off
And I'm worried it won't come back
I'm worried you'll realize there are girls with their priorities straight
Who don't try to be three people at  once
they are beautiful and kiss much harder
But I love you
I can't speak for them
But I think it's okay to say
I'll love you more then they ever will.
I want you right now
to sit on your lap and shrink to half my size
I want you to hold me and comfort me
But what if you don't and what if I'm all alone
I can't hold myself
my arms aren't long enough
I remember what it feels like to have a broken heart and I can't
I just can't right now.
I don't want you to feel trapped because if you want to go,
Go
But realize what you're leaving behind
For a new girl
Who won't know what color your heart is and why

Someday someone
will love me like they do in the summer
even when the snow falls.

You asked me how I would spend
My last twenty-four hours if they started
At this very moment

We talked late at night planning all the
Things we'd have to do, like camping
Or watching the sunset
But I was too afraid to admit that
I would only need to fall asleep
Next to you with your lips
pressed against mine, and I'd die happy

I got to thinking and realized come August,
We will all be spending our last twenty-four hours
Together in the summer sun, and then
College will take us far away to start our
Separate adventures out of this small town

Sitting in my bed late at night
I couldn't help but cry because if there's
Anything I'm more afraid of than death
It's being alone, and I can't take another year
Of starting over

I'm trying to forget but
Every creak of a
Door
Is the sound
of your apartment's
Stairs and
When I step into the
February night
The only coldness I
Feel comes from the
Chills
Going down my
Spine as your hand
Rests on my
Neck
Gently tapping at my
Collar bone

I've never felt so
Poisoned, My senses
Never so robbed