I never thought that
Life could ever be this good and
I'm blessed with so many wonderful people
And so many wonderful things in
My life, but
It's really disheartening to know that
Even with all the good things happening
Mental illness will never let me truly be free

the water is murky and ***** and grey
but the fish keep swimming and swimming and
nobody asked to feel this way
but if the fish manage to survive
we can too

The moon is full
This jacket is warm
My flask is empty
You are not here

Eternal suffering was too much of a commitment
No more depression
One bullet

Friendship shouldn't feel like a one way street
You shouldn't love someone only when you're in need
People aren't tools you can use to just solve a problem
And throw back into the shed until you need them again

Empty promises and carefree living
Hazy nights and forgettable days
Chasing pleasure wherever it can be found
Never remembering those who once stood besides you
Bitterness is poison, a slow killer slinking in
But I can't help but feel as if you abandoned me
The first chance you got, without second thought
You'll never find someone else like this

Nostalgia is poison seeped in my veins
I remember that last sad smile as you turned away from me
Though it has been years some thing never fade
Like the pleasure the first time our eyes were blessed to meet
Through fire and brimstone, demons and hell
That immense joy always linger, threatening to ****
What little sanity I had, and though until now I've survived
This nostalgia is killing me, making we wish for
One last time