it was the kind of winter that sits in your bones
the red house with the yellow door on the corner had too many holes
nobody spoke except to sigh and watch their breath float away
and the markets were bad, and the oil was expensive
the liquor flowed freely even though the bills were unpaid
they just hung over our heads, those silent monsters always present
but sprawled together on that grey couch we were at peace
and even if things weren't great, we made them good

everything is a circle
you've played this game for years
twelve, seventeen, twenty-five
it is all the same my dear

sitting outside the bar, chain smoking again
the clock just hit midnight, you've been here since ten
and you only came out, to see some old friends
but it seems they're just nowhere to be found
so you head back inside, settle your tab
make a joke about loneliness, with a maniacal laugh
and you hope and you pray, that things they could change
but you know it's a pipe dream, this life will remain

anger is red
hatred is black
love was white
i hate that you left

mixed signals and unclear intentions
no idea what either of us want
surreal nights you aren't sure are real
secrets you swear you've never told
intensely casual conversations
treatises on dying young and alone
you're somewhere out there away from me
and neither of us can go home

my dreams are suicidal
my nightmares are eternal
my bank account is empty
my house is not a home
my loved one did abandon me
my body it is failing me
my twenty first birthday is approaching
i just hope i'm not alone

3 years together, 6 months apart
feeling better than i ever have
but I've got this stupid heart
telling me that i love you
and deep down i know it's true
stuck now with regret and memories
wishing you still loved me too