Pandas are *******
No doubt about it
All they ever do
Is sleep, eat and sit

It seems that the zoo
Is their native habitat
Sleep eat sit, sleep eat sit
Until they get fat

With their mickey mouse ears
And their love of mascara
Oh sure they make great toys
But so does a llama

You can't ride a Panda
You can't teach them to fetch
And where d'you buy bamboo
If you want one as a pet?

They're no good at mousing
They don't never forget
They don't even purr
They need help having ***

No, pandas are *******
There's no doubt in my mind
A less de-pandable pet
You're unlikely to find.

Lost in the land
Of pretending to be grand
Saving their conceit
For their nearest and dearest
Every malignant narcissist
Has two middle names:
One is "Abuser"
The other is "Slanderer"
And they live in the shadow
Of a deep, unbearable shame
That makes them shameless.

Here comes the sprung
Like a golden moon
A moment too late
Waves of meaning broke
Like a wheel's turned
A lesson spent
The rules were sand
Time stopped for no one
Like a golden sun
A moment too soon
Waves of meaning break
Like a wheel's spoke
A lesson learned
The rules were bent
Time stopped.
           And then returned.

The cold brought the snow
And the snow brought the ice
And the frosty town dwellers
And chilled out urbanites
Thawed out a little
With a raise of the eyes
An exhaled expression
A neighbourly - Y'alright?

A young woman
In unfriendly red
Comes cluttering
And skidding
Around the bend
I look up -
She pushes past
On her way to the station
But I have the last laugh -
It's closed, I almost shout
There's not even a sign
But if she manages to make it on heels
She'll find out in good time
Things move slower in the cold
And with good reason.

You bought me some good presents.
Some lasting presents.
A lasting presence,
Now that you are gone.

You always remarked on the light
And now when I see sunlight,
I think of you.

You took me to the beach,
Now when I see the beach,
I think of you.

You bought me a coffee machine
And every morning as I get my hit
I think of you.

Winter scarves and hats
Are wooly thoughts of you.

Smoking out the window -
Naughty thoughts of you.

Trying not to smoke -
A thought for you.

Marmite on toast -
I think of you.

A pretty girl -
Some other you.

A naked girl -
I try not to, but...

I think of you
So much more
Now you are gone
And I'm not sure
If I will ever
Not think of you
Again.

There's only one thing
That could stop these thoughts -
To be with... you again.

Just you.

You.

I’m going to spend more time with my parents
I was watching my dad last night
He’s really ******* rigorous about
Not dealing with negative emotion
I was watching him
It’s almost a joke amongst my sisters
That he goes into a dark mood inside himself
I was watching him by the computer
Seeing him as an aged child
Rather than as someone
Who has always been an adult
His head dipped slightly
And you could see him slightly
Think – ugh – I’m going to die
And he blinked to himself a moment
And then he was like, “Okey dokey,
Time to deal with Easyjet check in.”

I’ve got to give up smoking
Just to make my mum happy.