I wanna find trouble
and let it take me on a wild journey,
A journey worth remembering
Life changing, exhilarating
Beyond any of the wildest dreams,
Beyond anything known
Something spectacular, breath taking
The trouble I find will be encompassing
Swallow me whole and envelope me within it
To find trouble like that
Is to find paradise.

I live, I die, I burn, I drown
I endure at once chill and cold
Life is at once too soft and too hard
I have sore troubles mingled with joys

Suddenly I laugh and at the same time cry
And in pleasure many a grief endure
My happiness wanes and yet it lasts unchanged
All at once I dry up and grow green

Thus I suffer love's inconstancies
And when I think the pain is most intense
Without thinking, it is gone again.

Then when I feel my joys certain
And my hour of greatest delight arrived
I find my pain beginning all over once again.

Don’ t tell me how to feel

because neither one of us are in charge

of my heart

or it’s rationale.


There’s no bigger dictator

than the one that’s inside of me.


When it pulls the strings,

and calls the shots,

my body pulls forward

with this boulder of emotion

and my shoulders start caving

as I start to drag my feet.


When the whistle blows

I roll my eyes,

at this foolish ruler…


A small ***** that dreams big.


Who does it think it is?


When will it learn?


And when will it stop making me


do it’s ***** work?

The stardust was falling from the heavens
that night
Our hearts outstretched to each other, our eyes gazing in wonder
Hands were held, words were passed
And the thoughts of love fell into a deep
slumber.

Can you remember the way things once were…
Innocent children playing together
not having to worry about life
or that they were boy and girl…

Let the heavens open again
pouring out its magical dust
its rain, its snow, its hail and sun
the love, the pain, the happiness, the past.

Let time heal all wounds and widen
smiles with the hopes of a new tomorrow
with answers to the questions
and what is sure to follow.

A night in your bed leaves me two aches in the morning,
Both on parts inside of me that only you can touch.
One with your body and the other with your words
But actions soaked in alcohol cant be trusted.

If only bedsheets were made of paper
I would write you promises and let them keep you warm at night
But cotton can only keep secrets
So we will sleep under them and no one will know.

I’ve tried to make you see the difference between blood and an ******,
Because The liquid between my legs cannot pump through my heart any longer.
But your eyes were made for seduction not forever
So why do I see my future in them?

They say actions speak louder than words
so the honesty in my bones cries out as I lay in your arms
But This darkness cant hide in the light of morning
So it’s time for me to go.

It is 1969

A man set himself on fire today
To protest the war

My cigarette sympathizes with him,
its ashes like burnt out snowflakes

Falling
Dissolving
in a puddle of rainwater
Going home

walked barefoot
thought you'd cut your foot
on the gravel
with a glass

saw the trees move
felt the earth's chill
warmed our body
my body
with yours

seeped and indented
the sheets beneath
sweat.
covers.
sleep.

but now its disappeared
all but a faint memory
is it even real anymore?
have I imagined it?

I knew the scar
on your neck
the wrinkle
on your face

where's it gone?
I dreamt it
you're gone
I want you to
dream of me.

Insignificant passers by
the ugly smiles
and disappointed sighs
mildew rests upon a log
fallen from the rising fog
which clears off when the sun does grow
and shines down on your eyes and nose
the face's change
the mood does too
the time has come
to power through
bass line stomping to your brain
electric vibes rush through your veins
children appear and then the dogs show
each too familiar with things they shouldn't know

Don't judge me when you look at me,
  There's more to me than what you see.
I am a person just like you,
  And yes I have feelings too.
People only see what they choose to see,
  Never trying to see the real me.
I know that when they look at me,
they see the person I used to be.
Try to look beyond my face,
  Perhaps put yourself in my place.
Please try to look inside of me,
  At the person I'm struggling to be.
You won't see the person you think you see,
  I'm nothing like you think I'd be.
So don't judge me when you look at me,
  There's more to me than what you see.
WRITTEN BY: BRENDA F. MATHIES
JANUARY 1, 2008