Here I am, looking up causes for headaches
at 1 am
when I know it will always come back to you.
My hands found the bottom of the ocean
as I cleaned old movie tickets out of my car today.
I can see your honesty from here.
It took my composure on its way out the door.
I’m not bitter anymore.
I’m just tired.
And I’m tired of being so tired.
I’m sorry you didn’t stay.
I’m sorry that I apologize
for all the times you didn’t.
I keep forgetting these things
are not one-sided,
and so,
I’m sorry I gave you everything
for nothing in return.
You tasted like love,
and I was parched.
Still am.

A simple kiss
gentle and sweet
electrified my soul.

A wave of
****** feelings
never felt before.

A simple kiss
became complicated.
Feelings of passion,
anticipation,
longing,
love.

A simple kiss
ruined by
regret,
shame,
guilt.

I miss
A simple kiss.
A simple hug.
A simple friendship.
A simple love.

I'll *******,
If you want.
Cause I want it
Just as bad as you do.
But I also want to hear the rustle of the sheets
When you turn over in the middle of the night.
I want to feel your hot breath on my neck.
I want the stubble on your chin to graze my cheek
As you kiss me gently on the forehead.
And when I whisper "goodnight," you don't have to reply.
Just nudge me with your knee
Or poke me with your elbow.

***-runnin'
to the cemetery.
Goin' grave-diggin',
Tonight.

It's three to three,
and I'll be back
home.

At the half-way
house, in time for
breakfast.

Till then,
I'm chasin'
the ghost.
I used to call my reflection.

I think that maybe I take breakups
And half-breakups
And “I think we should just stay friends”
And “I’m moving across the country!”
And “Let’s just pretend it never happened…”
And “Sorry, I’m already doing something else that night”
so horrifically,
and yet so horrifically well,
Because life in my head
Is constantly romancing
And then breaking up
With everyone.

Gentle lady, do not sing
Sad songs about the end of love;
Lay aside sadness and sing
How love that passes is enough.

Sing about the long deep sleep
Of lovers that are dead, and how
In the grave all love shall sleep:
Love is aweary now.