What young man
isn't hoping for a monster?
One bigger than a bed could hide
One that would hold our world
in its jaws
salivating into our drinking water
to torture us before it feasts

Many young men
want this monster to come
so they could have the glory
of stabbing its ugly heart
and watching its blood drift away
into the silent cosmos

But some young men
are different
They would sit on the back of the beast
and watch our festering world
be chewed to rubble
then ride off laughing
or crying to no one

And some young man
would be the beast
that devours us
so he could sit in the great wordless space
picking our bones from his teeth
finally free

"I'm thinking about what you said,"
           I said,
But I was thinking about thinking
           inside my head.
After a quiet moment
           he suddenly said,
"You talk like you talk a lot
           Inside your head."

So you landed on my eye
I'm flattered you thought it was a flower
There's no pollen here only panic

Your furious belabored legs
And crisp black abdomen
burrowing into my lashes like it's your job

It is your job
It's your life
little friend

You oughta go
I won't be sweet and harmless as a flower
Again

my girl
when you opened your eyes
just a second after me
I was hopeful for another

there's the connection we lost!
there's that fire that smoldered
but you just felt my eyelash
against your cheek

girl
we're sitting in a pit of ashes
playing with matches
and we're only burning ourselves

She left me with sand in my teeth
and crushed roses
between my toes

Fumbling I jumped
like a midnight plunge
into an icy lake

That  night I didn't dream
or forget where I was
and who I was holding

She slept with a frown
deeper than the usual pout
she kicked like a wild horse

If it is manly to get kicked
stop the ride
but I want to keep going

effort effort effort effort effort effort effort effort effortsecond semesterpapers papers attendance papersthe same thing over and overand over papers papers attendance discussionpapersstories are formcut them upsee what's inside paperspapers attendance discussion paperssorrowgoing going going coffee coffee coffee smile smile smile

clock in
clock out
beat off

get drunk
get high
quick

my jacket
with a bag
in the pocket

where is it
i love
drinking money

clock in
clock out
get out of it

I never walked out into the light
I was pulled out
and I've been being pulled out ever since

I want to get darker he said
so ice clinking in his glass
he started digging

my blood feels thin
and my bones are tired he said
so he laid down to sleep

throat burning he awoke
another drink he thought
should do me good

the x's on the black board
are the marks of experience
erased as the class empties

the board is nearly a blank slate again
but with faint traces of a previous life
the touch of many hands
leaves an indelible mark

the board would recollect its many roles
at the end of each day if it could
impartial to its use but glad to be free

my face is marked more permanently
frown lines now bearing down on my mouth
from both sides and above

the blue and purple bags under my eyes
store the sights that I failed to act on

I am aging
falling from the peak
whenever that was