If there ever was a word
to explain, I would not know
I would sit silent
mentally browsing the alphabet
trying to construct this word
this word I do not know.
There are sentences that describe
paragraphs that show
but no word to explain
what I feel, but fail to know

Lying among thousand
miniature leaves
supporting my weight
as pupils search high
with my head resting comfortable
on earth itself

Hands matting my hair down
and making my arms more like wings
which keep me a float
while i twist my eyes around
stars and constellations
the lights on dark skies

The massive yard light, Luna
puts down a soft glow
which sets my mind adrift
steering me past lit dots
on a dark map
just inside my closed eyes

unseen to the naked eye
the imperfections
contained within
the structural damage
just beneath the skin
a lost boy
hidden by a toothy grin
confused, a slave to his dreams
his very own firing pin

I can suppose
assume, or guess
but all are claims
and have no valid reason
to touch the air outside my mind
I can spend hours
figuring, and thinking
but reality is a *****
and has no linear solution
for it likes to tease, and hide
what's on her mind

For every lie, there is one truth
But for every honest man
There is four liars
To count yourself among the truthful
You must always be
Because nothing is worse
Than an honest man who lies

Is there such a pain, to explain
What I feel and when I say
The sunrise is beautiful but
It hasn't blinded me like
How you looked that night
You forbiddingly kissed me

meet me on dim lit street curbs
picking up the grief my stomach gave up
filling an empty bottle with tears
haven't felt the same, I haven't
I fill the void and pick up the pieces
plenty of time to think, jail's quiet enough
detox knows the way, so tonight
I'll pound another bottle, till life isn't lonely

you can invoke any idea
but how much of it
did you make appear
humans by nature
can't help but not be sincere
we take from memory
and call it our own without fear
all of us pose in someway
pretending when the public is near
people change sometimes
everyone wants a slate that's clear

my heart exploded today
****** and beaten, lying on your bed
with a scalpel in your hand
you silenced my pounding arteries
and jabbed a pen straight through
with ink-stained hands, you
hugged and kissed me goodbye

funeral bells already rung
coffins made of warm wood
shattered glass with no reflection
bright street lights dancing
dancing around the crimson pools
i dance along
afraid to open, to see
this sight of metal and flesh
of roses soon to come

Here** laying with wide open eyes
listening to the rain
fall down to earth
to your window and mine

Here not where I should be
watching the rain
wash what seems like forever
from these cracks in my head
washing away the cobwebs
that alcohol couldn't remove
only misplace

Here standing, drowning
in the rain and
underneath this burden
of missing you
my new nine to five

whipping to whirling
circles upon counters
tipped over and emptied
drooped over to search
for glass, and rotted grain
not yet spoiled by tiles

spinning to crashing
joining bodies from earlier
air to stained carpet
a pile to small to be chunks

waking to wondering
hours before are scratched
never to be replayed
unknown is vast and choices
were questionable

passing by
needles jammed into and through
hoping they hit pavement, and
create a thud
that resounds sickly in tissue
and never leaves

Orange and red
Combine in a blender
Filled sky high
With clouds and soon to be stars
Even one pinch
Of that ever growing pollution
Just for a kick
That bites and burns

Once before
Twice ago
Come, Stay
Hit the floor
Ignore the lights
Between white lines
They only change
Back and forth
Stare up
Enjoy the view
of high speed chases
and concrete faces
Once cold
Twice as blind

Waiting for my locks
to break and spill
opening doors paper thin
and shining light
on hidden talents

Waiting for hand-built walls
to crumble and crash
letting free a fear of mine
one so tall
no ladder of support will help

Waiting for people
to compile and understand
the hints I spoke
so the answer will never
have to be pronounced by me

Another line
Another day
minutes multiplied without you
and friends forgot to lessen the taste

Another hour
Another daybreak
forcing myself to wake
to remember you're still human
and mistakes are their downfall

Another kiss
Another touch
felt no where but the lips
oh how my veins call for you
to shock my heart into loud beats

Maybe if I scream
Someone will listen
Between the growls
They'll find what's eating
Devouring me soul and all

reeling to the floor
joining the carpet in despair
comfortable and content
below the air
foams and fibers
keeping pressure off my heart
at least until I stand

spread wide
my limbs sense no gravity
and my stomach
is no longer gripped with torture
rough fingers made of carpet
support my head
as light as it may feel

heavy and draining
processing the days
more frequently do I lay
comfortable on carpet
awaiting your reply

my warm skin
tingling
a set of vibrations
forced into the muscles
by a device
through which we communicate

the patience and longing
which fill the silences in between
drains me

As I wait
fighting time
I grasp my mind around
those swinging hands
that travel 360
while peering through glass
their window to the world
I try to understand
rather comprehend
why red laps black
many times over,
in a never ending race
that ends in time itself
and how or if
I can somehow rewind
that needle of red
This train of my thoughts
now traveling faster then
what I ponder
is broken, stopped
with a syllable
that which I identify myself as
and as I heave
forcing weight upwards
I gather eyes and stares
plastered to my back
my shoes catch and keep
my attention
as I move towards
the only other fighting gravity
my gaze now no where near that red needle
simple greetings are exchanged
hellos and how are yous
then I again push my feet
one by one
following one clad in scrubs
now I find myself in a
space far too small
and answering questions,
of which my mind
needs not to focus on
rather it returns itself
onward and onto
the timepiece
I pronounce clock

Another Friday night
chained to the bed
putting letters to paper
letters turn to words
and onto poems

Four white walls
and a key hole
gazing at my work
minutes spend staring back
seconds... and hours
that won't return
sentences crossed out
lines drawn through
these phrases keeping you near

Finally when the outside
converts to black
so do my walls
unlocking me
setting my mind free
to stay or go... and
almost every night
it leaves me
to wish you sweet dreams

There's proof somewhere
I lost, am losing my mind once again
All the time they talk
Trying to find my insides
Wasting moments, I could spend with you
Instead I stare up
Made easy with no brain
Because I've lost so much time already
Letting my neck feel my pain
The stars seem to catch my attention
For my skull understands there's...
No photo of you to keep from looking

losing my mind
breaking pieces of my own
to fix yours
hoping you'll notice me
when your all healed up

allowing the promises
to fill in my missing pieces
when i know you can't
keep them materialized
I meet your needs already

grouped and categorized
in sections i go
******* them up
while you mend the
confused so called mature mind
you call your own

crushing my intellect
to return your health to normal
along the way
crushing my heart too

catching the liquid
gazing as it slides gentle
over my fingers
and into my palm

watching it fill all the grooves
that make me unqiue
and fall over the cliff
my hand creates

feeling it coat my skin
something dark
shading it a hue
I'd never seen as vibrant

oh how it does feel
running its chills
through my nerves
where they can reach my heart
and prevent my eyes
from pulling the blinds

my dear
your blood is twice as beautiful
when it pools in my hands
where I can play with
between my fingers
like you played with my heart

driving the town crazy
behind me
painting it red
along the way
feeling my hair
blow and grow
free of you
above my smiling face
knowing my eyes
see clear now
on simple highways
90 miles an hour
away from your house

I** live in my solitude
where there's safety in one
reality leaves me alone
for the cruel world, harsh
can't touch my mood
when i live in my mind
there's a fantasy in it all
because I don't know who
or how, my outside can match me
when I live in my solitude

there is a heavy weight
pulling down on her eyelids
and at the moment, I know her fate
to sleep, fidgeting and gently
holding the butterfly's in my stomachache

Darkness is brilliant
it steals your uniqueness
for hours, without asking
leaving you there asleep
eyes closed like everyone else
dulling the senses enough
so the dreams climb in
and corrupt the peaceful minds
or settle the overworked ones
Darkness may be brilliant
but I'm still wide awake
laying there, endless hours
drawing close that thread
of sleep I need
thinking, and thinking
wishing I could cut ties
with all my senses
so Darkness could outsmart me

I don't know the end or the start
see time isn't something I can outsmart
but if I may, I'd like to steal your heart
and never let this dream depart
what we have, is unexplainable like beautiful art

Like a piece of meat with bone inside
laying there, trying to seem solid
wanting to be a journal to which you confide
trying but failing to be
Our hearts were bound to collide
but time is sand falling, eroding the foundation
falling through these fingers while you decide

a predictable surprise
on a day
spent in pews
laid on the bed
and let the weight
shrink the springs beneath
wow
a pressure has hit my chest
thrown from my phone
i agreed
because the winds had changed
and no longer kept our sails
full and blowing
slowly our ship sunk
and now rests, silently
on my chest
a surprise none the less

boil your ego in a mason jar
swallow that lump
and pray for some CPR
seal down the cap
act like your not racing a burning cigar
aim for the darkest behind
and help heal her visible scar
play the surgeon behind the glass
so you can be that guy you know you are

wake, wake up beautiful
see the sky
its almost as wonderful as you
this morning
its bright and alive
matching my heart
a little to much
to cause me comfort

a gut empty
flipped and twirling
round and round
a deep pain
a ripping hollow feeling
spinning intestines
tight through your fingers
soft delicate fingers
feeding fire to my insides
letting the burn
take hold of an
empty sick stomach

letting the pen right
letting the ink hit the paper
and smear what you think is wrong

letting the hand learn
letting the mind unfold
and move that smear into words

letting the words combined
letting the feelings come forth
leaving today in writing

letting the vocal cords oversee
letting the unspoken, forget
and push me further into the page

Portraits surrounded by shadow
put in place
and made level by my hands
though
the space is small
behind my eyes
i crowd the pictures in

Some are fuzzy
Some are clear as day
Some are broken and
lay out on the imaginative floor
Some are highly polished and
shine

Borders of highly prized light
bring life to the images
even deep in the center
Where they're stacked
thousands upon hundreds

Some are rarely recalled
Some come alive numerous times
before i even wake
Some are deliberately ripped
and forgot all together
Some are secured tightly to my subconscious
where misplacement is difficult

and today
i think ill try to find space
to add even more

not seeing straight
curving my eyes inside
enjoying the
color of disorganized neutrons
connecting themselves
overworking their structure
shooting feelings out
to be seen
as i glance again
straight at you

Turning the sky upside down
Reversing the rain
Watching it fall back
Back into clouds

Pacing to and fro
Reversing my path
Seeing the weather rewind
Rewind to sunnier days

Tumbling the locks
Reversing their decision
Noticing fresh air again
Wet with future raindrops

Traveling forwards
Reversing the inverted blue above
Sensing the warmth overhead
Overhead no rain does rumble

One word answers
with lies in between
echoing off my red walls
into caverns
and mazes contained in my mind

Solution in the center
you just have to dig
find my heart beat
and snap off a piece

No pain will i feel
the missing pieces are substituted
with those one word answers
and the lies
coat my eyes perfectly

For when im blind and dumb
the red wall barricades
cant constraint
burden or bury
what was mine initially

I can suppose
assume, or guess
but all are claims
and have no valid reason
to touch air outside my mind
I can spend hours
figuring, and thinking
but reality is a *****
and has no linear solution
for it likes to tease, and hide
what's on her mind

To think
To have thoughts
Is what makes me think
Is it as natural as the wind
To think about thinking
To ponder thoughts
I believe it is
Without words behind our eyes
We surely can not be alive
So
To think
To have thoughts
Means our hearts are beating
And our minds are learning

Lets read it line by line
to the stars, to the huge explosions
that distance makes small
Lets read every line
and forget the world, the universe
till all that matters is what resides
on the grass next to me
Lets read the words
till we understand every last sentence
and the stars are no longer able to occupy the sky
what a serene event it'll be, so
Lets read the stars above us
till time decides to stop for me
and you

Go to sleep
Dream a dream
A sweet soft dream
That touches reality
And leaves a huge impression
Dream a dream
Any kind of dream
One that makes you wake
Smiling like I know you can
Dream a dream
Or if you must, steal one of mine
For I have many
And they're all beautiful
Because you are my dream

A man of clear thought
And clean mind
Among a million stars
Adrift along beautiful landscapes
With a star in tow
And a backpack filled with dreams
Searching high and low
For the perfect picture
One where he can place his star
And rest his dreams

Upon waves of confusion
a bottle rides in
bounded and wrapped
with a tattered sleeve
dancing atop the white caps
and kissing anger good-bye

far from shore
maybe a month or so out
and apart for the text
written, sealed, and sent
neither can say it did something wrong

hurtful and unknown
the bottle rode the sea
letting the sleeve take the damage
ripped, shredded, and frayed
protecting the most dear

this bland bottle
though mean and unthoughtful
had a message
both a sentence and a feeling
to be unraveled by the owner
of this angel like cloth

small insignificant needles
unnoticed and unseen
by the numerous people
gathered in these square feet
happening again and again
these needles compile
stacking themselves
neatly in my pocket
plucking them from air
only comprehended
by me and your silent rejections

when the time has come
and enough needles
have been gathered
i aimlessly read the clock
and make my way
out of the place
parting myself from
the unknowing numerous people

driving home
struck between the wheel
and the sad words
created by the speakers
i begin the painful process
of letting the needles
jab my heart
each one confusing me more

arriving home
switching myself
from sitting to standing
i feel the needles sting
a pain
I'll feel till tomorrow

The tapping
and rapping
of which you believe to be rain
striking your glass
belongs not to nature
but of the rocks which
my hands hurl

Drowning in rain
and thoughts of you
driving me
placing me
a few feet below you
as you dream

the shouting of mine
is lost in the whirling,
whipping rain and thunder

pronouncing and proclaiming
true feelings
i somehow seem weightless
under the window
which i hope to glimpse your face

but... asleep you stay
comfortable under sheets and covers
with eyelids tightly sealed
dreaming away
white noise the only thing
your ears pick up

After hours of waiting
throwing and screaming
i quit
not wishing to awake the unwanted
i leave a simple note
tied round your mailbox
and let the rain
push my head farther into sorrow

walking away
not even comprehending
the fact
that the same rain that
drenches me and,
falls on your window
is blurring the ink
of which i confessed

truly and completely
i love you

watching the raindrops
splatter on my windshield
much like bugs do
when the weather outside
does not match my eyes

watching the windshield wipers
float the rain
off the glass, and on to the road
wishing i had my own
so my rain wouldn't fall
into my lap

watching the tears
and minutes old raindrops
soak into my jeans
and chill my skin to ice
so it matches your heart

watching knuckles turn white
as i grip the steering wheel
fighting the spot in my mind
that nudge
telling me to leave the tarmac
and seek my guardian angel

maybe just like the bright sun
stopped the rain
my angel will stop my tears

living every night
on my fingertips
touching the disorganized
alphabet on my lap
breathing every day
day dreaming the next words
I'll compose when
the sun sets
living every morning
with my feelings
of yesterday
on my computer screen