I am
cosmic nothingness,
an augur of a fallen star

I wonder
who exists in the emptiness,
what belongs to time and time alone

I hear
whispers in the formless void,
a song that weaves itself into the fabric

I see
consciousness in colors blooming,
light cascading from beyond

I want
to create myself

I pretend
I am speaking with a love I've never met

I feel
elated by my evanescence, surrendering regret

I touch
the current of the endless ocean

I worry
I am lost

I cry
it is hopeless

I understand
we wake to live the day

I say
I am a cup of ocean

I dream
of memories I've never truly lived

I try
to surrender

I hope
to love again, be loved as much

I am
cosmic nothingness,
an augur of a fallen star



I breathe,
and I am being


I exhale,
and am released


I am
liberated in the 
instance of believing

for

I know
that I know nothing



What ghost of home exists within

the leagues between it all?

Who is out beyond the ticking clock?

Who swims in the deep?



In my dreams, it is a whisper in my ear

an echoing, resonant song

which reverberates in the midst of all existence

condensing energy into form



Whirling color,
in closed eye visuals

represents the self in schism

whilst light speckles the night

and blooms into being



From red and blue, purple

From light and dark,
I become myself



I am
fooling myself, dreaming of tomorrow

Wasting away in reverie

I exhale, and breathe

And water fills my lungs
as I sink into the deep



In waking,
I am
ever moving forward

still holding the ocean’s tears within my lungs


I dream
of memories I’ve never truly lived

release myself and love seeps in


I have
tumbled from heaven to earth

and gained substance

Coerce me not by semblance nor by grace
nor make my purity known before my blights
Appeal to me in pleasantry’s embrace;

convince me you know nothing of my nights



For, in my deepest truth, I am entrenched

in fleeting, mortal nature on this earth

With every light, will darkness be dispensed,

and sadness mirrors every shred of mirth



So find in me, these unbecoming things

hidden in my heart and cowering

Find me there, still clutching this raw wound

Embrace my darkest parts to be attuned



May I find love, in authenticity,

or be alone, but know what’s truly me

I am rebirthed
in the sanctity of spirit
in rivers flowing
through my very being

channels clear
with an oomph!
whenever will works
worlds quake
in the wake of waves

erupting


spilling over

geysers plummeting
cascading a flood of 

ae (the) r



condensed in my crystal moon
emanating holographic light
that purifies the mind
and reignites

the flame of heart



clarity in microcosmic synergy
which permeates infinity
through fractalescent pockets
spiraling intricately 

into oblivion



from heaven’s highest branches
to the densities of roots
beneath the light of life



the world tree holds cosmos
identical to energetic outlets
effusing spiritual light
within our very vessels



we are 
mirror images
forever 

holding hope 

in our depths



an ever expanding accordion 

of intimate individuation
in unfolding fragments

forming frameworks for fate



so severnot the swell

plummet me, nought,
unto hell

nay, away into my shell



herein I reside
evermore, but never;

bide I, aligned

parallel or right inside
the flow of home
bestowed in mine
dissolved

and unconfined

even in the midst
of loneliness

and death
I feel not
bereft



I know
my nature beckons
in the reckoning of heaven
within, without, about
the energy of everything
reiterated in me

When love finds me

I hope it is because

it is the love that I embody

Here lieth pleasure’s open’d form;  
thy splendor wholesomely beget,  
whence parting clouds dispel my storm  
‘n light divine shouldst warm me, yet.

Commendeth thee, my soul implores;  
thru many’s work doth One bestow.  
Upon the endless ocean’s shores  
to watch the swell recede and grow.

For whosoever wisps about  
on worldly winds, in currents grip  
-whose faith within shall shine, devout-  
surrender’d to unending trip.

No happenstance shall coincide  
alack of reason, stretching wide.  
Wherewith mine heart is anchor’d, stilled,  
inset to breadth, as I, fulfilled.

with each breath, deeper

to each core the body holds

connecting light to silent sight

within, the darkness folds

awakening the sleeper
    


each moment passes

a skipping stone connects

to the water’s surface

rippling ad infinitum
    


each hovering lapse

of passing through the air

(the air we breathe)

stretching awareness 

over four corners
    


cardinal elements coalescing

fragmented only 

in seeing selves

seeing selves
    


when two sets of eyes gaze into each other

and see mirrors stretch in endless reiteration
    


with each sigh and closing eye

with each smile we wear with pride

with each muscle fiber coming to relax

we instill, in self, the greatness of it all
    


in every meditative venture

into ever expanding silence

we reach deeper toward the truth

speaking without thought

becoming present
    


becoming diaphanous, intangible

permeable sheets of white light

transparent vessels of time

we dissolve and become

Forever

it’s not a simple pulse
or glow
or ebb and flow

it emanates, effuses
moves
it hums and shifts 
and breathes
and teems and bleeds

it waxes as it wanes
it sustains

it blinks and basks
in fog and shadow black
but ever holds them back;
it sits, unyielding

if I peer into
the center, sole
within the tick of time,

(litany of light’s design,
the shadow of which is the mind;
the split becometh sign;
an augur, yet electrified,
divine)

I find

it multiplies
from sources slipped

into ever pocketed perpetuity

divided throughout space, beyond acuity

through you and me,
through everything, coursing

are spheres that surge in unity

that swell, and lose their pressure

only to return in equal measure


forever
and ever

and ever

I am learning Earth and Water. Trees are experts in mindfulness. They communicate in silence, using psychic vibrations that resonate in communion with the cycles of nature. Offer up to them your presence, and they will reflect upon you their stability and coolness. At our roots we are life itself. I have learned, from the quiet, to love myself as a plant. I need water, light, air and love. Growth is a natural thing. Sustenance is deepest in its simplicity. Human love can be convoluted and strange, forming labyrinths within the psyche. Yet all space, immaterial and material, confounds us with illusions of separation. If I close my eyes, and melt into the quintessence of energy, I become the haze and see beyond seeing; choosing to feel in my heart. This is spiritual water. The mind ripples as thought, distorting the clarity of the endless ocean of energy. This is a stage in the cycle. Being mindful includes acknowledging the noise between silence. If we are to recognize ourselves, we must feel the passing waves of energy; the way they manifest in the formless void as whispers on the canvas of our minds’ eyes. There is no forcing surrender. We must embrace volatility and transience in order to let go.

to touch one person, who touches one person, who touches one person...
to feel in a way only you can
to see through the lens of your individuality
to impart an aspect of your identity onto reality
you are a fragment of eternity,  

i see things changing and it aches
but we could not think, could not feel, could not experience beauty
if time was not forever rolling onward
if things did not change  

to grieve is to love
to love is to empty yourself to hold space for another
to understand in spite of your ignorance
to grasp the truth that we cannot be alone
and nothing exists in a vacuum  

i’m tired of feeling insignificant
i am magnificent, passionate enchantment
echoes resounding in the vast, indifferent infinite
an embodiment of spirit amongst physicalist pessimists  

I may be small, but I am all,  
if only I connect with existence

To see what you are
you must do the work of shedding
what you are not.

You have buried it, don’t you see?
You have buried it, but it cannot die.

It comes and goes
in flurries and spurious blips
It ebbs and flows
regaining balance as I trip


I stumble to and fro
but only so
I get a grip


so I can know
the self is just a sip
from a cup from a well
of endlessness


I think I’ll take a dip in it,
the aquifer  beneath;
the self that sleeps;


the surging deep
that covers all
that I discover
in the midst of this
duplicitous engagement with
the mist


Like water
in its various states
Like cycles of the moon
like seasons changing


Like the air:
the space that holds,
where self unfolds
in rearranging


but sit with it
the emptiness
and resonate in semblance


as when breathing
we are feeling
come and go,
but never leaving


Such deceiving things
the tapestry of dreams
forever stringing being


To be the thread
not alive
nor dead
but interweaving

Is every sense a sentence?  
Is every birth a death  
of emptiness?  

Must we be captive, captivated,  
waiting for our breath in endless,  
breathless steps upon  
the winding road of silence?  

Is this aching, heartbreaking  
anticipation of something,
a world working;
a sensation,  
presentation coming through  
to its unearthing?  

Why does time stretch on
while we wander, squandering
the very truths we’ve clung to  
in our being and becoming?

It’s not every day
I have something to say
or something worth bestowing.
Sometimes, there’s nothing showing,
nothing growing…nothing flowing.

I’ve written “all and open”
over and over again
yet I feel closed from knowing
what is true, where to begin.  

In tumultuous earth,
quaking in memories
I see the death of me;
the rest of me, left empty
in a shell of reverie  

I cannot breathe.

These influences of devotion,
to "shall" and "should" and "would"  and where to be,
are gripping me with apathy  
as I refuse to find my muse  
in emptying the self I’ve come to bleed through.  

Nothing structured,
layaway my pain,
let rest my brain;  
no more contained  
in rage or evanescence;  

no regrets,  
no retrospect,  
no message. 

I’ve been,
and I will be
remembering and breathing;

still believing in moving on  
I’ll reach for the stars
until I burn inside the sun.  

Those days are gone.
I am not Nothing.
Done calling myself nought,
I am becoming.  

Even if I sway,
tarry here and there,
in my own way I’m home  
amongst the air; the wind  
still embraces me, without a care.
No caveat or cross to bear.  

I am bare to night,
tonight.
I swear it, naked.

I am starlight
drinking starlight in.

Candles steady.
I am ready,
but not simply to begin.  

I recognize the moving tides
that crash against my skin;
that fill me  
up from within.  

My world, akin.
My Endless Ocean.

Forests part to form a road,
as the Earth swallows itself
erecting mountains which split in two
and on the horizon,
basking in the glow of the rising sun,
your outstretched hand draws me in at shimmering speeds  

Together, we adjourn, to radiant morrow
my heart settled comfortably in my throat
radiating warmth, and love, and truth
nourishing me deeply,
setting me up for a beautiful future
full of joyful tears

I met myself in a dream last night
Cast circles upon the idle mind
To look into the mirror there
Within the depths, the unaware

I slept in blips
Awoke in haze
Spent lying time
In yesterdays

I floated under sailing stars
Greeted horrors near and far
The vast stampede within my brain
Lucidity, raving insane

Then woke again
To sleep this time
To death, and death
To be defied

From back before the nature’s edge
I worked around and hid, and dredged
All traps lay waiting for my hitch
Each demon creeping in a ditch

Yet round I worked and came about
To exit at my mental mouth
The monsters worked along with me
To help me be in synergy