Loving You

I want to spend forever
Looking into your
Beautiful blue eyes.
Baby I want to spend

Forever wrapped in
Your lovely disguise.
Without a care in the
World I will sit here

And call you mine.
I will get those shivers
You send running up
And down my spine.

I want to keep you and
Only you for as
Long as I possibly can.
It's been you and

Only you since this
Love song began.
Without you,
I don't think my life

Would be quite so complete.
Without you, I don't
Know where I would be,
You are my heartbeat.

I hope you believe
Me when I tell you I love you,
Because this madness is
Hard to fight through.

When I'm by your side
All of my worries no longer exist,
When you pull me close for
One more passionate kiss.

Trying to push away
This feeling crawling beneath my skin,
Putting my head in my hands,
Always giving up, always giving in.

I guess this is what
It feels like to be hurt so badly
You just want to disappear.
I guess this is what

It feels like to be
Stabbed in the chest.
I guess this is what
It feels like to always have you near.

Everywhere I turn I see
Something that reminds me if you.
Everytime I round a corner
I see your face.

Everyday I suffer from wounds
That barely explain
What I'm going through.
You don't know what it's like

To suffer like me.
You don't know how much
Pain passes through my heart
In every degree.

We pass each other everyday
With my face cold as stone.
You grin like there was nothing
Between us.

I guess this is what it feels like to be alone.

I never listen to what
Other people say, 
I dont have the
Patience to wait.

I just drag myself through
Every passing minute,
Every passing day.
My mind won't stop

Spinning and I'm full
Of repressed doubt.
How can someone do
Something so heart shattering? 

I'm breaking apart
From the inside out.
Broken glass lies beneath
Me as I fall to my knees.

A shard in my ****** hand,
Tears blurring my vision,
Thinking of what he
Wanted me to be.

Screaming my pain to everyone,
Squeezing the glass in my palm,
Waiting for my sanity to come.
Thrusting the broken

Glass to my chest,
Puncturing my heart,
Saving myself
From all the rest.

Spilling blood surrounding me,
A slowing heartbeat,
This is the end of my bottomless agony.

Gentle waves caressing the shore,
Soft calls from the birds.
The smell of salt overwhelming me,
As little fish explore the ocean floor.

So many different versions of
Beauty surround me.
Young children playing,
Colorful flowers,
 
The buzzing of an adventerous bee.
You see, 
There is more to this
Than meets the eye.

To some beauty is the appearance,
And to others it's the simple
Way a loved one says goodbye.
Beauty can come to you as

You become older,
As well as when you are young.
No one can judge you for your
Interpretation of beauty,

Because beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

I still continue searching
For you with tears in my eyes
And trembling hands.
Wandering around in a dream

Like state.
Confused about why you
Will never understand.
I'm afraid these burning

Words I have practiced in
My head may never pass
From my lips to yours.
I have never met you,

And I probably never will.
I have unanswered questions
Running through my mind.
Why didn't you take the position

So many others would be
Begging to fill?
Why weren't you there for me?
Why did you go?

Why weren't you there to kiss
Every scrapped knee?
Answer me this,
Why was I left wondering,

Why didn't I have a daddy to
Tuck me in at night?
Why was I left wondering
Where my daddy was?

Why was I left wondering
Why my daddy wasn't there to
Help me fly my first kite?
I don't know why you left,

And I don't know why you
Weren't there to watch me grow,
But this one question
Eats away at my heart:

Daddy why did you go?

This is my nightmare.
All I can see,
Is what will be the death of me.
My pain is what they desire.

Nothing compares to this hell I feel.
Every detail seems so real.
Fear chills down my stiff spine.
I can barely move, barely speak.

Shadows haunt every hill, every peak.
I can't escape this terror.
Every trace of light dies.
I can't seem to open my eyes.

It looks as though I will never leave.
My sense begins to wither and rebel.
Fear and hate control my every cell.

Forever closed eyes,
Reasoning dies.
Empty inside,
Nowhere to hide.

Lost in the loneliness of my mind,
Losing the sanity that binds.
Falling apart at the seems,
Can't escape these haunting dreams.

Oh why do I try?
No one can see these tears I cry.
Razor to wrist,
Replacing all I've missed.

Convicting those who did this to me,
Remembering what I used to be.
Holding on to life by a thin thread,
My horrid regrets repeating in my head.

The end is near,
My eyes fill with every lonesome tear.
My deep secret is the key,
This is what I need to set me free.