This pain I'm just embracing,
My heart is racing
What do I do now?
I'm so dumb
To ever think you truly loved me
Im a fool and you played me
I thought you loved me
Thats what I pushed myself to believe
I trusted you
But I was wrong to
Because you don't love me
You never did
You loved the idea
The idea of being loved
The idea of lust
The idea of me
And here I am sitting on a cold bench
Early November
Married to a man who has one foot halfway through the door and the other completely out hoping for me to catch the memo
To just give up and move along.
But that's not me
This is my life...
This is how far you led me
And this is where you left me....

When you invest so much time and effort into someone and put your all into someone and they just take all the strength you have along with whatever was left of your heart..
where do you find the strength to go back to what you were, all that you had & all that you could have become.
You start to think deeply about your value and when did that ever start to decrease.
Why you never really were loved and why did you deserve such a punishment,
you start to think back to times when you were happy and why you couldn't be that person anymore.
The one who is grateful just to wake up instead you dread the mornings you even open your eyes.
The one who loved the feeling of being loved instead you don't feel a thing cause you know it will come to an end.
The one who always thought of happy thoughts and a bright future laughing and loving life? What happened to that person

The person you use to be?

No one will ever understand your pain or struggle until they have been placed in your shoes.
No one can understand the journey you've been on until they walked the same walk you walked.
No one will ever know what that raw bare feeling is like, and you can't expect them to.
My heart beats only for you, in case you didn't know my soul has faded.
No one understands the amount of life you put in me and just how much you can take from me.
I can't wonder what it's like for you, only how it's been for me. Don't expect me too.
Cause you can feel but you can never understand.

Its like I've dug a hole, but I can't get out,
Tried  to cry but im all cried out.
Slowly breaking
Piece by piece
Why do you have this effect on me?
I never should have fallen so hard
I never should have trusted my heart
How could this happen all over again
What are the odds of my heart breaking again
Im so confused as to what to do
I should have never loved you.