Daisy (12:57 AM):  Please please please...
Daisy (1:02 AM):  I was laying down earlier, and without asking me any sort of permission, the image of Nathan with some other girl in his arms, in his room, laughing smiling, the whole idea came vividly to mind, and it crushed. It felt like someone stood on my chest and stomped. My computer was making aim noises and I didn't want to talk to anyone, I got up anyway. Now it's later, and I've shoved the thought from my mind. Now I'm alone, everyone's gone to sleep, my hair is clean, I'm alone. Damien Rice's voice pours out my speaker and my eyes overflow. I guess once I finally thought I was really really over him, it had to come back and hit me in the face. I'm so sick of sounding so stupid. It doesn't even make sense,
Daisy (1:03 AM):  I shouldn't be tied to him after everything. My soul is crushed.
Daisy (1:06 AM):  Sobs reach up my throat and sneak out of my mouth, filling the air, thick with sorrow, like fog. Like cigarette smoke, like smog, from thousands of cars. Why is it that i have to suffer like this for one who left me so abruptly. "I still think about you every day that passes." He said to me, and i probably believed it. He doesn't know, and thinks everything I say is some stupid dream, he answers me skeptically and full of scorn. I could scream, with my back arched in pain. Let all I ever had to say come out of me in one fluid motion.
Daisy (1:11 AM):  These are answers I'll never get. Learn to live like your very own bone marrow has been stripped from you. Week and empty.

I haven't written anything
In at least a month
I've dreampt about kissing
atleast three boys

Tomorrow; I'm seeing the angel of choas.
I will be brought back down.

To the boy who works at the corner store;
With  your lush deep, dark skin.
You made my day; flirting with me.
It's silly; I know.
I was having a ****** day.

You look like a ******* rockstar.
Orange hair all over the place.
Holding your face like a glass of wine.
Your lips, pierced in their perfection, snakebites.
I'll go crazy.
Your smile, sharp and perfect.
White teeth.
The way you walk with your fingers curled around a cigarette
Seeign those lips blow smoke
So sure of yourself
In your huge dark sunglasses

I don't really know what is, what never was, and what isn't.
Today you told my best friend she's beautiful and always have been.
Why did you always love everyone else more?
Was it because I gave you what you wanted?
I truly loved you?
Now you talk like it never was real.
Like a whole amazing year was just in my head.
All my fault.
So what now?
I wish you'd tell me what was real.
I wish I knew if you ever loved me,
If you ever thought I was beautiful.
Or if you're just that good at lying through your teeth.

I keep writing about people who don't know me.
Boys who would never talk to me, not even for the world.
Maybe its' some subconscious coping or something psychological
that I can't control.
Maybe I can and I'm just a creep.

Uhm, yea. 'Cause I rock your socks off like that.
Freakin' let the monkey out of the bottle.
Stupid lil' onion red pepper nacho' makin' sock eater.

Yeah man.
Tell him it;s from yours truly and
I'll eat your heart out.