Thought I'd try writing about honesty and transparency
Because I can't seem to stop turning desperate truths into lies
Maybe it's cause saying
"I don't need the warmth from somebody else's voice"
Sounds better than
"I cry myself to sleep every night"

I am drowning in words
Words with shaky hands and wide open mouths
Eternally screaming into the infinite sky
Their hands turning into fists in violent ecstasy
Hands with veins thrumming to the beat of life
Like the rhythmic hum of the sidewalk singer’s throat
The night is still and silent
A blanket of hush trying to swallow it whole
But the window is open and the streetlights are open
My ******* heart is open
And the sound of the earth is crashing into me
There are words bouncing off the walls
Ripping off plastic smile photographs and cut out posters
Trying to rid me of what I thought I was and what I thought I want to be
Filling my insides with a fiery something
Like I just drunk burning water and my ***** mouth is craving for more
On every corner of the room and on every inch of my skin
There are letters and syllables and fragments in messed up writing
Piling up in to mountains and oceans and ******* galaxies

I am drowning in words
And the lack of oxygen has never tasted so sweet

I want to write something worth reading
But my eyelids are heavy
And my hands aren't steady
And anything worth writing
Will still be written

I've been driving all night
With the headlights turned off
And I've got no sight of the road I'm on
I'm not trying to be edgy
I just wanna see what it feels like to walk straight into danger
I don't wanna die
I really don't
I just wanna know if pain tastes differently
If it isn't coming from inside of me

I've never been good at differentiating want from need all I can say is that being without you makes it hard for me to breathe

There is gold on the ceiling
Dripping down my forehead to my lips
It burns; it burns the way I think
The sun burns when it's 6 pm
And the city's skyline looks like a streak of fire

Blue wraps around my body like a pair of arms, stranger's arms
Making me shiver from the heat I can't feel
Cause my skin is made of dusty old newspapers
Yet my bones are made of steel

But there is gold on the ceiling
And it's so bright, it's so **** bright
Like a burst of hot light it blinds me
Searing the image of glittering dust into my brain
I can't remember

Red flows out of my mouth like a waterfall
My words sound like knives stuck in ribcages
My throat is filled with blood because it hurts to speak
It hurts even more to stop

But there is gold on the ceiling
Shining like every promise of "better"
It's shining and blinding and burning
Stabbing me again and again
With the force of it's glory

There is gold on the ceiling
But there is black on the walls
So I close my eyes tight
Cause dark is all I've ever known