In my native language
The word "mahal" means
"Love" and "Expensive"
Somehow you've made the two
Synonymous

You told me to write into the dark spaces
Because that's where the good stuff is at
But how can I when I am terrified of the darkness
How can I when I sleep with the light on

The first time I told you I love you I was trying to see if saying it out loud would make me mean it

The next to the one hundred and fifty-seventh time I told you I love you I was trying to convince myself that I really do

The second to the last time I told you I love you I was hoping you'd say "no you don't"
Because I really don't

I'm sorry I lied, I love you

I blamed our separation on the fact that the edges of the universe keep moving away from each other

We are all just beings filled with stardust

We are all trying to be something more than just that

My body is a patchwork of bruises, scars and jagged pieces that don't fit quite right
My mind is a ****** tapestry woven with threads drenched in hurricane waters

The day I was born a typhoon made a war zone out of my city  
An earthquake shook its very foundations as I came out kicking and screaming
Since my first breath I've been looking for a fight
The world never did disappoint

Time and time again the world has thrown punches straight to my face
And left open gashes where most mothers placed kisses
The world has stabbed me in the chest over and over 'til the ache felt like a part of me

I wear my scars like a coat of armor
I hold my head high and proud
And try to ignore the fact the every breath hurt

I believed I was indestructible and maybe there was a time you thought yourself unbreakable too
But I still hold on to my delusions as tightly as I can
With bleeding hands that refuse to let go

I refuse to let go

I am a force of nature and pain has been etched into my veins
I am unstoppable
I am a roaring inferno
Nobody can take that away from me

Let me tell you something:
Your sadness isn't beautiful and it will never be beautiful
All it is is destructive and my god it will burn you down in the worst possible ways

It will burn you down 'til your fingers start setting fire to everything you touch
'Til your insides are ablaze with the heat of self-hate
'Til your very soul is turned into a raging forest fire that kills anything alive

It will burn you down and it will make you want to bleed out
From your wrist and neck and head and that is not beauty

That is a catastrophe