The first time I tried ****** I was looking for an act of defiance
I was hanging a glowing neon sign on my chest that screamed *******
Man, I swear James Dean shot it up my arm
He had a tattoo on his wrist and it said, it said
Rebel without a cause
And those four words pretty much summed me up
I was 17
I still do not know who I was raising my middle fingers at

1.)
I hid my heart in a concrete box
Without any holes or openings
Where sunlight can seep through
And my heart didn't know
That there was something out there
Other than darkness

2.)
I hid my heart in a concrete box
And locked it as tight as I could
I swallowed the key
Now I think it is stuck
Somewhere inside my chest
Because there is an ache right there
And it hurts to breathe

3.)
I hid my heart in a concrete box
And buried it beneath
The center of my left palm
I have spent countless hours
Staring at my hand
And wondering why
It was bruised and bleeding

4.)
I hid my heart in a concrete box
Without holes or openings
I locked it as tight as I could
And buried it beneath
The center of my palm
Thinking it would be safer that way
Thinking that nothing can hurt me that way

I hid my heart in a concrete box
In time it had suffocated

I never noticed that it was beating
Until it stopped

It took me 18 months
Of unanswered phone calls
And careful avoidance
To get over you

It took me 18 seconds
Of staring at your smile
To realize
That I never got over you

I don't know when
The idea of starving myself
Became so appealing

I don't know when
It would stop
either