Illusions tame my perception.
Deceptions envelop my mind.
Reality racing away faster than time. Beliefs a hermit insanely confined. Seclusion is solace.
Immersion is peace. My emotions a dynamic contradicting thief.
Dancing at their will. Jumping when they speak. Total control.
Lashing out. For example what the hell am I talking about?  Over zealously tepid. Feelings galore!

Experience. Life.
Walking the streets of gold juggling strife.
Mending. Meek.
Adverting your ways or discovering you’re weak.
Facing your demons or submitting defeat.
Wisdom. A gift bestowed from the future. Wishing you obtained it in the past
With wisdom comes great sorrow. Knowing all of the pain. That those before you used this force in vain.
With wisdom comes responsibility. Protecting those we raise. Hoping they’ll do the same when your wisdom goes away with age.

A tragic comedy. My love of my hatred that’s decaying me. Striding for an optimist path. Dwelling the chambers realizing the mask. A replica of who I was in the past. Loving, caring feeling complete.  The facade fading. Mentality despaired emotionally obsolete. Carrying this charade, lying to those who seek. Giving them the goodness which is rotten underneath. Relationships. Nothing but transactions to me. Which I fail to complete.

Breaking down, drowning in my sorrow.
Life is borrowed, I'm at the bottom of the bottle.
I don't understand this pain inside of me.
It's driving me.  Crazy, crazy
Devils intruding, darkening that which was brightly lit.
My life abiding spiraling into a dark abyss.
Seeking solace, the delusions are clouding in.
Full of sin, it's far too late for me to repent.
I don't understand this pain inside of me.
It's driving me. Crazy

Copper brown eyes more luxurious than gold.
Sauntering its labyrinth in awe of what I behold.
A journey I embark in which I seek no end.
My shinchi cat. Whose beauty. No one can contend.
Multi-facet truly one of a kind. May say she's cheek. May say she's divine. Has my heart in a clasp, a grip that's so hale.
Stunning by sight and her mind is as well.
Oh Shinchi cat my dear our distance is great.
Miles between us seems like footsteps to make.

Yellow raindrops falling from the sun because even when it shines. Gloomy my days have become.
Once was a time my world was bright. Misery shrouds these eyes, blinding, living in darkness with no moonlight.
Wretched, tainted and completely full of mold. Understanding what defines to feel low.
  Trapped in an abyss. Grasping for air. Spiraling slowly deeper and deeper. What will it take for me to feel happy again?
  What will it take for this suffering to end? I'm told it all gets better with time well my clock has struck zero.
  Realizing this feeling will never stop. My beliefs are numb. A shell of what I once was.

My Life's in despair. I'm soulless. Feelings unconstrained this pain i cant control it.
Think about it all night and day. Wandering this burning field that is my mind.
Reminiscing all the time back when I felt my life was complete. A masterpiece, a bond of waterproof paint.
Now I drown in deception reaching a depth i couldn't conceive.
The love I felt was all a dream an illusion of beauty crushed by a beast. Alone.
No more moments of passion. Visions of us laying together, laughing. My heart stops beating.
My lungs seizing to contract. Defeated though I tried so hard. A one sided battle the other never really fighting back.
The lies a blade piercing my skin. I realize this is the end. A war I was never good enough to win.

There's a light shining in the distance
What is it that i see?
A damsel in a window, a presence that's so glorifying to me.
Her wit is supreme. Her charm has me bound.
To describe her beauty there's no word I have yet found.
Shes outspoken and direct, yet nimble to please.
Its tremendous that such an immaculate woman breathes.
I am adorned when we converse, despaired when she leaves.
Its only a matter of time until next that we speak.
A time that I wait which feels like nothing to me, not caring if its a day, not even a week.
All that I know it brings me a smile from cheek to cheek

My love for you is vast, so wide.
If it was visible the entire universe would rest inside.
Whimsical and bright, your words bring no dismay.
You're warm and comforting like cocoa on a cold winter day.
I sip from the cup. Oh how I relish in the feel.
A sensation so ample, so intense its unreal.

She was my sun. Solar flares bursting each one brightening my day. Her beauty radiating like rays putting a smile upon my face. I trusted her, as she gave me the lighter side of life. So much care, joy, comfort and cant forget the ***. So close before the betrayal had time to set. My hearts sudden affliction, my minds definite conviction. Made me realize the dark place that i actually live in. Not a shade of light piercing through her veil. All the moments of happiness began to fade. This feeling i had it felt so real only to find out my heart was just a game

Dwelling in the chambers of my mind.
Such a vast and crowded space.
Memories of my past some I wish I could erase.
Images of what I've seen, words describing what I've done.
Just everything and anything to explain who I have become.
The brain is realities best friend and mortal enemy.
What it perceives is what you see. How it processes is how you feel.
Meaning something you encounter may not even be truly real.
So live life day by day, don't try to over think or stress to much.
Dwelling in the chambers of my mind.
Natures one creation that will always provide a rush.

No distance too far
No journey too dark
Love can not be separated
It's a quest I must embark
A women's heart is a precious gem.
One whose value is unknown.
Worth more than one can offer
No amount of care can be successfully shown
Women are the best gift to the earth
Masterpieces of nature, divinely crafted.
Blessings to all mankind.
Their beauty can not be combatted.

Pain leaves me in maniacal bliss.
Blood rushing, heart pumping, I begin to lose my grip.
Unleashing a part of me I have never seen before.
Insane, untamed, having me begging for some more.
Thoughts racing through my head makes me feel so psychotic.
Wouldn't be able to see this side of me normally, pain is purely just ******.
I am truly a sensitive man who isn't labeled as evil or tough.
Controlling my inner feelings till pain is introduced then it becomes very rough.
Showing that I'm really a freak of nature, a misfit who isn't strong willed.
Pain to me is natures way of showing how reality can be killed.

Each decision we make architects our future.
Creating paths that will either cause advancement or inhibition.
Choosing these choices either with thought or impulse.
Hoping that it was with keen precision.
Learning from mistakes teaching from experience.
Fulfilling your dreams even ones that are bizarre and fictitious.
Constructed by your mind designed from your heart.
Illustrated by actions your life is pure art.
The world is the canvas and you draw your part.

C

Yearning for criticism, I bleed my beliefs and emotions.
Articulate my thoughts to release strain such unwanted pressure.
Seeking guidance from my peers to try to ease my minds commotion.
Pursuiting answers for my questions yet none seem to measure.
I can't accept but a majorities consensus unless its scientific fact.
Life is an experiment with dynamic factors. Nothing will change that.
Forever I will exist with these problems I can't solve.

A thought is conjuring in my head.
What shall it be; clean, *****, peaceful, or cruel.
That's a question that's left unsaid.
As it processes, I interpret. The answer is clear it's cruel.
A thought that hinders my mental state driving me towards the edge.
About to fall, these horrible thoughts. A hypothetical ledge.
I lay with this blade asking myself. Shall I end this suffering and pain.
The metal glistens as it contacts my tender neck begging for its maim.
Another thought appears this one seems quite acute.
Telling me that I am fine, this act I should not do.
As the blade begins to rip through my flesh, I start to second guess.
These demons I face in the tormented necropolis of my mind are they just a test.
Hardships that I must endure yet easier to succumb.
Thoughts blazing into my head as I bleed from this fresh wound.
I must think fast, the blood gushing. My life is soon undone.
A chemical bath some gauze to patch, trying to cease my utter doom.
It's crazy how a mental state can cause such nefarious actions.
Life is a mysterious yet glorious quest and my thoughts are fatal reflections.

An exquisite product of nature, A creation of lust.
Your beauty is omnipotent, that can control and destruct.
Abduct my feeble mind and torture, I will endure the pain.
******* and ecstasy is all I want to obtain.

Don't let me move show your authority.
Conjure affliction for me it's pleasure.
You're a lithe, malevolent deity.
A divine, unobtainable treasure.

I'm a kid untamed the rest of you are under control. The government has maimed and twisted our thoughts into their own. 

Our fore fathers would be ashamed. The blame is the people but they just don't know. 

A sense of false freedom to do their every will. The soul of America has been killed.

I sit and think about life.
Misunderstood, confused and full of strife. Only if my mind I could interpret, but only a universe of phenomena is found. Trying to comprehend existence and its lust to destruct, caused by greed and control, its life is bound. Morals oblivious, Care obselete. To change for advandcement an obvious feat. But I am just a single man with a heart, lacking wealth so power as well. No skill in skills, no influence to help me seek an answer, this place just a speck from hell. I ponder why I exist and survive... and a meaning to explain the nefarious nature a race portrays. Once I understand the catechism of life It shall be way beyond my day. Fully decomposed six feet under. A peaceful world is only a wonder.

I sit and think about life.
Misunderstood, confused and full of strife. Only if my mind I could interpret, but only a universe of phenomena is found. Trying to comprehend existence and its lust to destruct, caused by greed and control, its life is bound. Morals oblivious, Care obselete. To change for advandcement an obvious feat. But I am just a single man with a heart, lacking wealth so power as well. No skill in skills, no influence to help me seek an answer, this place just a speck from hell. I ponder why I exist and survive... and a meaning to explain the nefarious nature a race portrays. Once I understand the catechism of life It shall be way beyond my day. Fully decomposed six feet under. A peaceful world is only a wonder.