Illusions tame my perception.
Deceptions envelop my mind.
Reality racing away faster than time. Beliefs a hermit insanely confined. Seclusion is solace.
Immersion is peace. My emotions a dynamic contradicting thief.
Dancing at their will. Jumping when they speak. Total control.
Lashing out. For example what the hell am I talking about?  Over zealously tepid. Feelings galore!

Experience. Life.
Walking the streets of gold juggling strife.
Mending. Meek.
Adverting your ways or discovering you’re weak.
Facing your demons or submitting defeat.
Wisdom. A gift bestowed from the future. Wishing you obtained it in the past
With wisdom comes great sorrow. Knowing all of the pain. That those before you used this force in vain.
With wisdom comes responsibility. Protecting those we raise. Hoping they’ll do the same when your wisdom goes away with age.

A tragic comedy. My love of my hatred that’s decaying me. Striding for an optimist path. Dwelling the chambers realizing the mask. A replica of who I was in the past. Loving, caring feeling complete.  The facade fading. Mentality despaired emotionally obsolete. Carrying this charade, lying to those who seek. Giving them the goodness which is rotten underneath. Relationships. Nothing but transactions to me. Which I fail to complete.

Breaking down, drowning in my sorrow.
Life is borrowed, I'm at the bottom of the bottle.
I don't understand this pain inside of me.
It's driving me.  Crazy, crazy
Devils intruding, darkening that which was brightly lit.
My life abiding spiraling into a dark abyss.
Seeking solace, the delusions are clouding in.
Full of sin, it's far too late for me to repent.
I don't understand this pain inside of me.
It's driving me. Crazy

Copper brown eyes more luxurious than gold.
Sauntering its labyrinth in awe of what I behold.
A journey I embark in which I seek no end.
My shinchi cat. Whose beauty. No one can contend.
Multi-facet truly one of a kind. May say she's cheek. May say she's divine. Has my heart in a clasp, a grip that's so hale.
Stunning by sight and her mind is as well.
Oh Shinchi cat my dear our distance is great.
Miles between us seems like footsteps to make.

Yellow raindrops falling from the sun because even when it shines. Gloomy my days have become.
Once was a time my world was bright. Misery shrouds these eyes, blinding, living in darkness with no moonlight.
Wretched, tainted and completely full of mold. Understanding what defines to feel low.
  Trapped in an abyss. Grasping for air. Spiraling slowly deeper and deeper. What will it take for me to feel happy again?
  What will it take for this suffering to end? I'm told it all gets better with time well my clock has struck zero.
  Realizing this feeling will never stop. My beliefs are numb. A shell of what I once was.

My Life's in despair. I'm soulless. Feelings unconstrained this pain i cant control it.
Think about it all night and day. Wandering this burning field that is my mind.
Reminiscing all the time back when I felt my life was complete. A masterpiece, a bond of waterproof paint.
Now I drown in deception reaching a depth i couldn't conceive.
The love I felt was all a dream an illusion of beauty crushed by a beast. Alone.
No more moments of passion. Visions of us laying together, laughing. My heart stops beating.
My lungs seizing to contract. Defeated though I tried so hard. A one sided battle the other never really fighting back.
The lies a blade piercing my skin. I realize this is the end. A war I was never good enough to win.