I open my eyes, and just see nothing
did i think it would help if i took off my glasses, would it hurt less?
just to not be able to see clearly?
apparently,that isn't so.
the fact that i could not see anything certainly didn't distract me from reality....

it had no affect on my vacant pleasures
if anything, it just made it worse
because the fact that i couldn't see what was happening to me
did declare that it wasn't
i had no escape

how foolish was i to think that it would go away that simple
to think that if i had no visual proof of anything that everything from that point on would be absolutely painless
that my suffering would surely end?

Was i really that desperate to even try it?
i guess is was
but it did have the tiniest slither of comfort for everything to be just.......
a blur

The question is:
would i rather be in total agony than feel numb towards everything?
if was in my right mind, i'd instantly say yes
but these days, there are various times i think twice.

He could never love me, I will never have his heart
no matter how much i'll try and try, we'll always be apart

He could never touch me, the way i'd only ever dreamed
with his warmth against my skin
i've felt it once or twice before
and been hoping for evermore

He could never see me, the way i've always seen him
for he has long decided that i'm not enough for him

He could never love me,but i will never quit,
for i will try until he's mine, even if i already know
that i will fail, but i want it back, to where we were at

For i would carry all my fears,a thousand miles, a million ways,
a thousand more, for a million days
to hear his voice his, to see his precious face
i'd come all this way

Just to THINK he is mine,for once in my mind
I'd still go, even though i already know
he could NEVER love me.

Nobody dies of a broken heart!
That is what everyone says.
Time heals all scars!
That is what everyone says.
The pain dims, the memories fade
New and important things happen
People move on, make a fresh start
That is what everyone says.
Tell you what, I make a fresh start every Single day!
A resolution, not to look back
Not to care, not to feel, not to hear.
And yes, I succeed.


Sometimes.

Have you ever stopped to think
That you aren't just hurting yourself?
The clatter, the clink
Of the knife across your scalp.
Don't you understand, my dear?
You were never alone.
I have been standing right here,
Trying to be your foster home.
So don't cry, broken child,
Out of anger, fear, or spite.
I always loved your smile,
Please, lay down for the night.
Rest your head, close your eyes
For a long, dreamy slumber.
Expel a great sigh
I have tried to quiet the thunder.
But only you can quiet those thoughts
That ****** record player in your mind.
It must be forgotten
You are smart, intelligent, and kind.
And you are loved
By me and by more.
And that figure above
Loves you more than before.
So, please, quiet this battle
Silence the fight.
And with me, please cuddle
And rest for the night.