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cxbra Jul 2018
looking out of the window
it’s scary I can’t see my reflection
I just see all of the demons I’ve defeated in my past lives
When I close my eyes all I wish for is a glimpse of heaven
looking into your windows
it’s scary I can see my reflection
with guardian angels all around me
as I enter my new life
I finally got a glimpse of heaven

I close my eyes, say a prayer, receive some blessings
this pain, it hurts, but it’s a lesson
My angels never warned me about your presence
oh, what an essence
the most wonderful present
a guardian angel
and everlasting glimpse of heaven
cxbra Jul 2018
the calm awakens me
the water moves my frequencies to and fro
this must be what peace feels like
complete harmony
away from everything
all the while close to nothing
every sound is muffled
holding my breath until my body screams for oxygen
like I’m holding on to all of my problems until I ask for help
the release feels so good
as I come back up for air and open my eyes
with my feet grounded
just to realize
I’m not drowning
anymore
cxbra Mar 2018
I was never a lost boy
Traumatized by the event of you leaving me
I had always known what it was like to love someone enough to let them go
It’s no wonder why I always had a love for yo-yo’s
You see, they showed me that every time you would let them go
They would always come right back to you
I remember
The first time a girl fell in love with me
She told me that I was the closest thing to perfect
But she was not ready to be with me
I asked her what does it mean to be ready for love
You see, love does not hit you when you’re ready for it
Like you’re in a ring with professional boxers
Letting you spar with them
Though you will never be prepared for the first time
a haymaker to the jaw knocks you out cold
dazed and confused like you saw it coming but
didn’t know it would hurt this bad
I remember
The first time a girl fell in love with me
And made me feel like I didn’t love myself
You see, my father never taught me how to love a woman
I had to teach myself that kind of thing
Suddenly I lost my love for yo-yo’s
You see, I learned that I was bad at letting go
I would look into the mirror and see a boy
Who had never boxed a day in his life
But the bags and blisters under his eyes told stories
of fights that were almost won
but you should have seen the other guy’s face
no, these were stories of the times my yo-yo wouldn’t land back in my hand
instead it would hit me in the face
they can all see your scars, boy,
but don’t ever let them see your tears
was the only lesson my father taught me
I remember
The first time I fell in love with myself
I was in a room with no mirrors
And a box full of old yo-yo’s
With letters from all that took my love for granted
Including myself.


“for all that took my love for granted, including myself”

kaileb w.
cxbra Mar 2018
I had just graduated from high school
when we sat in the car
right outside of the
residence in norfolk
where he told me
that he wasn’t
sure if he was
my real
father
which
had plagued
him for eighteen years
and finally he had gotten it
off of his chest only to place
the burden on the shoulders of
a man who had less answers than he did
cxbra Dec 2017
These are a lot of things
I wish I could’ve told myself
when I was younger:
don’t be the girl
that dresses up
but decides not to go out
you should put pieces of your
love in the pockets of everyone you meet
Instead of pouring into one person
they can’t carry your love
Understand
that some people
read books and don’t learn from them
so don’t expect to learn valuable lessons from them
they can only teach you things you’ve already known
I wish I could’ve told myself that I was more than a chapter to you - or anyone
I am the entire novel
I am the entire series
I will make you fall in love with me in every lifetime
but in this one
you will see me with a brighter aura
you will enhance your vocabulary
you will learn to be better with words
you will desire my touch
you will reject every chance at love
trying to get an ounce of mine back into your pockets
but I dug the same hole in your pockets that you left in my chest
I wish I could have told myself to stop and smell the roses because people will wait until you’re gone to give you flowers
and the worst part is that these flowers too,
will wilt and perish
just like all the lessons I taught you
cxbra Dec 2017
I think I’m too young to not be able to make irrational decisions and make mistakes or
not know what it’s like to fall down twenty times
and be able to explain the bruises on my face
I think breathing deeply is the solution to anger and stress
forget everything else, just inhale and hold it
I think about seeing the world yet I haven’t done anything to make that a reality
like I’m waiting but what do I have to wait for
I think I should stop caring to much about the lack of money I have
like that’s the only true stress I have
but money never bought me the happiness that you supply me with
I think that you think I could be too good for you or too good to you but
every time I look at you I think that breathing is much harder to do
like I don’t need to travel to see breath taking views when I could just look at you, exhale slowly
I think—
I love you
cxbra Nov 2017
10/30/17
Claimed

maybe I should have been more difficult to love
like my baggage was never claimed
and it’s still got a hold on me
maybe I should have been easier to let go
like my baggage wasn’t important anyways
and I left it all at my previous layover
maybe I should have forgotten the importance of being important
but I can not forget a feeling I’ve never had
so it’s important that you hear me when I say I want to mean something more to you
Sometimes I get overwhelmed too
because deep down I know that one day you will wake up and I will be that baggage that you’ll never want to claim again
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