grungy teenage trigueña with
slits in her brows
new york city sewers
were cleaner than
her speech
she carried herself like
she’s the only one who exists
i complimented her before she stepped into her train
her curls bounced as she walked out of my life

me and ‘buela finished
predicando
and we sat at the dining table
near the china
soaking up the silence
she made me use a coaster
for my apple juice carton
looked across the table as she
struggled to slurp her
ice cream of a McFlurry
while i desired to know more of her
what life was like as a
single mother
she’d snort and call me ‘estupida’
if i asked
in her bags i see
loud discontentment
a friend i’m not a stranger of
i hope to one day learn her story
before i read it on a
memorial program

a show for the masses
you entertain and
appeal to many
your facade is undetectable
so no one knows who you really are
you claim you dont need nobody
and
i
in the background can not help
but notice
you did not blend your mask right
only acting like you were healed,
did you break..?

unraveling the powdery ball
from being encased in plastic
sinvergüenza!
you left the price on it to
prove how much you do for me
i watched the bath bomb
that you bought me months ago
still fizz after i put it to soak
after months of being disregarded
and saved for the perfect,
most overwhelming time,
it still had it's touch
the passing months
we broke down
in lukewarm waters
traced our love with chalky fingers
and the memories didn't matter anymore
essential oils fill the air of my bathroom
and the stress releases and i become pure again
it was so beautiful and
i must thank you
for what you left of me

i dance to the
sound of your voice
like old heads to 90s dancehall
while swaying with shandy
there's an indescribable love
an underappreciated love story
i meet you outside the brownstone
except its not a brownstone and it's
an apartment in the P's
and you see me holding flowers
except this time around i couldn't get the flowers
but with intentions of getting flowers,
your favorite, and
we hit it off and you become
the love of my life and we do it all over again
until i wake up

scrubbing grime from the
shower walls
with only a cup of water in my body
i wished to endure my fast,
witholding ingestion to
spite my face
feeling dizzy
i reluctantly accept the gentle
beams of sun that hug
my neck
and caress my shoulders
reminding me i hate it here
and
i miss that hole i used to be able to call
my escape
that hole that i met each of my friends
and got to know them better
build memories that would
be forgotten once everybody moved away
just wanted it to last a little longer.

i don't
regret a
thing