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cresun Nov 2013
5;
(a)
at the darkest part of her mind
found a boy dressed in white
with nine
white roses in his hand
for those were her favorite
but then she remembered,
that it was nearly impossible
for a sanity to live with insanity
and she was insanity

(b)
sat on her chair, faced the screen
laughs, smiles, they all existed for a while
until he kissed her soft clean skin
and it began burning into ashes
as the skin rotten

(c)
hollered for help
with the loudest
and no one heard her
and everyone chose to ignore her
pain loved her
it never left like the boy did
and for every love pain gave her
it ached and broke every bones and skulls she was made of

(d)
and she ended it here
just like she promised she would
cresun Oct 2013
when my eyes rain
i shut the sun down
putting blanket over windows
and trap myself
in the lights of darkness
where Demon
finally comes out from my mind

but this time
when my eyes rained
there was no sun to avoid
Demon was quietly snoring

so why it rained
when there was
no reason to?

and now i have come
to a conclusion that
the strings linked to my heart
allowing me to feel
broke

i do not know
which is worse now;
to live with a heart of
tangled strings
or to live with none at all
cresun Oct 2013
we hadn't talk
pretty much
for a really
long long long
time

and it keeps
me wonder
why it never
bothered you
like it always
bothers me

because honestly,
you are
the only person
i have been
thinking of lately
and i hate that
it makes me
seem and sound like
a pathetic person who
still clings to you

i don't know
where have
you been
and i don't know
it either if you
have finally
looked at me
the way i always
look at myself

that you finally
decided to leave me
because you had options
and i never

i don't know
what to believe
she said
you're leaving me
he said
something is going on
and you're too occupied

but
you left me
clueless and unloved
and mummy always said
to say thank you
to all the good deeds
people have done for me

so i thank you
for waking me up
from my dream
that consist of
a boy who could
love me more than
i could love myself
cresun Oct 2013
a life saver, a hero*

he is the kind of guy
who would take
your mind into his
where star trek exist
and where flowers
grow from the stem

he is the kind of guy
who owns a pair
of real eyes that
enables him to see
the truth

he is the kind of guy
who often goes out for a walk
when he feels depressed
and he wouldn't cease until
the sun is finally setting

despite it all,
he's still breathing
he's still staying alive
under the skin everyone dislike
and he keeps radiating positive vibes
all by himself

six months and i still could not
figure out what does everyone not
see in him that i could
which makes me want
to be around him more

he has a funny mind,
but doesn't everyone?

(we are all just ashamed
to show it for we are afraid
of being an outcast in
society's dictionary)

and though he told me twice
how he finds his system an irritant
i still think that it's
what makes me
attracted to him;
his mind is always a mystery
in the most hilarious kind of way

he, my friend, is the person
who takes my pain away
by just breathing and talking to me
and oh how i wish he could see
how much i am thankful to God
that i met him and his
mischievious little mindset
cresun Oct 2013
4;
death come to me
while i carve lines
on my skin as
my blood flows

death come to me
you are my only hope
for me to feel content
once again

death come to me
i don't want to be bad
cease all of this for me

*bring me along
take me with you
i don't want to
be here anymore
save me from breathing
cresun Oct 2013
anger takes over me
for what society is today

they glamorize self-harm
pretending to have monster
under them and scare
people away by
telling how they adore
the drawings on the skin
only to want attention and sympathy

they romanticize self-harm
wishing for a guy to kiss
the carved lines
wishing for a guy to tell
the whole world
how much he truly loves her

i could never understand
why and how a person
could do such a thing
for the sake of their own desire
of having a remarkable love story
to be told to envied it out of people

how could you label yourself
with the names of mental illnesses
and still said you are proud of it
just for the *******
of impressing people

you do not have depression
when you are actually
experiencing a normal sorrows

sorrows of when you failed a test
you never work *******
sorrows of when your parents yell
at you for something
you have done wrong
sorrows of when your crush
does not feels the same
and never rise up your hopes

you do not have bipolar disorder
when you are actually
experiencing emotions like
a normal human being

emotions of
sadness
joyous
anger
frustration
they are all possible to be
felt in a day

the world is so wrong
everything is so unright
and i am terribly so upset

you don't know
anything about it
and that should be
a good thing
for you do not have to
feel pain and suffer from it
for every breath you take
but no matter what you say of society, they will never change.
cresun Oct 2013
i suffocate people
with the love i have

i could never find
the right reason or
the right answer to
why a person should
be proud to be with
someone like me

oh for i am just
an unsightly human
made up of countless flaws
and i am nowhere
nowhere neutral (either)

the disgust look
i put upon people's countenance
just by breathing


so tell me, tell me
how does one accept
the love i have
when i **** them
as i cling to them
like a bolster at night
as i tie them tight
so they would not leave
as i breathe under
this flawed skin

i shoot them with arrows
and they halt it with
their silvery sword


oh how odd it is
of the fact that
rejection could ****
the cells in your body

and i will just be a girl
filled with love
for she would not have
to take people's lives
(but her own)
for too many love in a heart
creates a living sinister
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