As I gazed into the dense inner-soul
of that broad birch tree I
so often sought,
I discovered nature's ever-changing influence:
orange, soft leaves had began to
stem from farther branches, yet turning still
to a softer yellow -
almost in attempt to compete in colour against
the richness of the sun.
I breathed in the sweet scent of autumn,
longing for the cooler nights and crisp mornings when
the workings of winter begin to
leave subtle clues.
A wispy wind streamed through the leaves
as if in a hurry to bring the message
to far away trees alike:
Autumn is here.
Strolling barefoot through the thick grass
my mind wandered past
the rainbow assortment of roses that lay
further ahead and seemed to settle, at last,
in the folds of a tall oak tree -
surrendered almost completely to
the fiery hues, it reflected
a glowing fireplace; the leaves danced and
branches crooned melodies to oneanother
amidst the heat of the flames.
And at last I yielded to it;
finding a tranquillity I needn't question
as I decided: autumn is the best season indeed.

(C) 20/4/15
Courtney L

The sky is still and blue as waves of puffy white cloud
follow it down with the descending sun.
Darker blue lingers at the edges enthusiastically, waiting
to drown the paler hues in deeper oceans that blacken each
passing hour. It's like a scripted play where the sun
and its cloud accomplices are forced to surrender
and night rises triumphantly to centre stage -
although not quite receiving an applause.
Unsure, the audience shift uncomfortably in their chairs
as they are left to ponder a dark villain having the victory.
The light is soon drained from it's stocked recesses as
little tea-candle lights reflect against the navy seas,
shimmering like sparkly dancers filling the between scenes.
With bright smiles and sequined tight dresses
they're keen to make it big. They are yet outshone by
the curved crescent edges ascending; prompting
whispers of secrets to the far away planets that the moon
is now here. Almost in reverence the surrounding spaces
begin to glow - stealing the show the absence of colour
coolly shines alone - separated from the stars it
takes its bow on stage, gleaming like freshly watered flowers
it thrives on the delighted gazes of the many below.

You don't need to run
His voice echoes in my mind -
filling my thoughts for a moment as
I remember exhaling all my air when near him I could
finally breathe again.
I recall the immense satisfaction I felt as I knew
He was the one person I could
completely lose myself with.
And if I do...?* I think, pondering
a future my darkest thoughts plead for;
set in seeking destruction they
wrestle with my heart's nerves -
Breaking, bending, snapping the life-lines
I've confined to a minimal.
I'll be ready, I'll catch you
He says, knowing my default setting
of self-sabotage. Seeing past all my attempts
to let my guilt consume me he
refuses to accept I'm too far gone.
I won't surrender this fight, not
before you do. He leaks into my
hungry soul, satisfying a thirst
I never knew burned inside me.

I didn't consider it a disorder;
the seasons seem to affect most,
and what I thought, perhaps,
kept me down wasn't the
absence of the sun, see -
I thought the waves lapped in
my mind to drown me.
I succumbed to the consistency
of submerging tides that felt
physically deeper in the shallows.
I suppose I didn't understand
the darkening effect of night, see -
it doesn't wrap the earth in
deep shades of violet, it encases
my head in deep scarlet emotions
and they paralyse me.

(C) 6/4/15
Courtney L