Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Courtney O Dec 2020
***** hair - but I am not there
Crying in the kitchen - I need help
Alternate universe - dissociate
what's this - it tears at me,
can't be tamed, it won't fade

A shy razor on my arm
I can't do this; because it hurts
but I need the world to blow up
because into this catatonia
I could burst

I cannot feel my body - or my soul
it's all gone - I drown, in my thoughts,
I have no kind of control
I can't listen, I can't talk. The pain is everywhere.
I froze. I move nervously, restless, but I won't rest
because now, it's all the same
because I can't stop
oh God what's wrong?!
I can't take it anymore!
let me catch my breath, I sigh,
I will make it alright,
by ******* the venom in the wound
I still can't stop! I can't take it anymore!
I fell, once again!

Let me catch my breath, and I did.
A gate opens, lets go all of this.
And your honey kiss is placed
where I left it before the storm
raged in me, this devil switch,
this unexplainable thing

I am getting ready so the storm
never breaks what I love most
Courtney O Dec 2020
They raise you
as a baby, they put mosquito nets
around you not to get stung
because they care
they want to cry when they first
see your face

but it's easy to love someone with no identity
a potentiality, someone without eyes
it's pure, indeed, but I don't want it for me
I see the cracks on the dream,
because the cracks are in my skin

and also, they are deeply afraid
of who you become
when you acquire these eyes
of your own
they are paralyzed, in shock
the tales they bought for you
with their guts bought!
and you need no prince,
and you just need to be free...

Our worlds are light years apart,
but this is it, what it is like, no turning back
So away. We'll never be friends.
Let us not converge. Too much at stake.

Yet they celebrate undercover your smile -
even if they don't really get why
yet they care, still, in a very strange way!

it's true they were your kings most of the time
when you were a baby, you couldn't imagine
this would be your life
and neither do they, in fact
but now we are the same, and we can look each other
in the eye...and you thank them for the effort,
the love that led you astray, the love that wanted you safe
even if you never aspired to such
even if you are the challenge they never asked for
Courtney O Dec 2020
late nights at your job
******* ****
on my polka dot dress
(we both loved it so)
taking photographs of graffiti
on these proletarian walls
our first pizza and some of our first kisses
you look so **** on camera
and even sexier now dear
I wish I could ******* here
your shy hand on mine
a rising sun, a rising sun
all of this takes me somewhere
and I know this was the right way
Courtney O Dec 2020
can you see me?
because
in front of you
i don't dare to speak
but can you feel
my silent rebellion seep?
if you won't be here
I want you to
at least not interfere
Courtney O Dec 2020
My heart is on fire - that I do love
but when my *****'s on fire, I love it more
This is what I craved to be - your ****
This is my wish - what I need, a long repressed
"set me free" all over me

This is me - short skirt,
and begging for (your) ****
My fantasies breed - you're the man I pick
I am not sorry about my moans
and all of my wet thoughts
I am not sorry about none, I am not sorry
for love
Courtney O Dec 2020
Watch the city breathe heavily,
she's excited, yearns to live
I can feel it in the faces of those
around me, and also
in this intense craving I've got
the Christmas chiaroscuro,
these lights beaming in the dark
because today everything is warm
There is a beauty about today
Channeled through my guts

I am about to burst
in gleam and shine
and a certain burning desire
And everyone is under the same sign
or is it me, letting out my inner stars?

Feel your lips on my neck,
a tiny taste of our hidden heaven
**** on your Oreo milkshake
good metaphor for the day

And you do help to feel the beam
but the beam is growing everywhere!
inside of myself

Watch me going to sleep
in the embrace of your kiss
in the embrace of the eternal
Christmas glee, our will to be
despite the tragedy we're in
Courtney O Dec 2020
Watch me! I ain't who I was
I am who I've always been

You turn your head - you can't believe it's me
I can't either believe - I got freed
Watch me proud in the streets
Watch my madness gone sweet
My madness gone the right way, finally
Next page