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Courtney O Sep 2020
Engrave this on your skin,
Your insides
And everywhere you need,
keep it with you, never forget this:
Love is not anxious.
Love wins.

Love is not that anxiety,
That tight chest, that maddened thought
Emotional nightmares
and much much worse
That bitter breeding brooding thing
That you need to **** but first it has to sting

Love
It's joy and peace
It is waking up with a smile
in your lips

Love waits because he’s sure he’s there
He is so undeniable he needs nothing else
Love is not sickly, love does not ache
Love – the balm for everyday

Love is our eyes. Our hands. This happiness
Filling me from inside.

Love is not a competition,
Love does not keep track of the blame,
because love simply knows no stress.
Love is effortless care.
Do not ask for more. Do not ask for less.
Love is always there.

And I’ve got this thing inside
That tells me “look at the other side”
Look at his faults, fill my head with doubt
and like a sudden sky to a sudden blizzard
when the vision comes, it all clears up

Love is those jeans
that fit you perfect, at home,
when no one sees,
but you're at your most.
Love goes beyond all you are supposed
to know

Love does not obsess. Yet it does not stop me
because I can't help
Thinking about you, wondering when
We’ll be close
Again
And that’s not a sin. That’s not a fail.
Courtney O Sep 2020
There is an anxiety growing from a rose
A turbulent move in the clear waters of love
A potential river of tears sprawling from spring
A rose that withers with excitement and wish
Love won’t **** her; but love’s dregs will
A rose with thorns. A rose like you and me.
You can’t pluck out the thorns. You just have to kiss the rose,
All care, no gloves
The thorns will dissappear
With all care, all love
Courtney O Sep 2020
Temporary - like a tattoo at the pool
in the heat, wet from your bath
this too shall pass,
but do things die?

Temporary - the pain
temporary - the Sun's rays
they will hide away
only to come back again
both the peaks and the rock bottoms
will dissolve, will end

Are they real? What is real?
temporality should be your glee
take it easy, take it light
you'll prevail

Temporary - this feeling of despair
Temporary - because it does not stay
Temporary - this **** that I can't take
Temporary - no more, no less
"what did you expect?"

Everything's temporary
like lost heartbeats that add up
to the melody
like footnotes that carry all the meaning
everything's ephemeral, but...

ah...

in the amidst of time
something sticks out
wait a minute
maybe death isn't real
maybe this is for keeps
and eternity is not a full fib
maybe I will exist
if I forget while I hold
my temporality
Courtney O Sep 2020
The now is all I have
but still I feel starved
I can't wait for **** to happen
I can't wait for us

But the now is all I have
Can't move from what's real
Make my way in this land
while I get what I need
Courtney O Sep 2020
Sometimes the days just roll over like waves!
Calm, carefree,  but secretly connected
Filled with hope, with a quiet trust
Sometimes life treats you well
Better not to ask and better not to care much

And here comes the pain!
The turbulence and violent rain
A rain that does not wash but stain
But...
The waves, washed it away.

The sunny days!
It is just a moment that lasts forever
The occasional turbulence can't wear it out
The hundred accidents that disturb
My ocean's peace
Can't really break what we built
Can't really take away what's within.
Courtney O Sep 2020
she's a slave not a goddess
yet she has the power to imprison power
she can't hear the great tune
she says everything is for my good
but she's alien to the vital flood

She's a slave, I said!
all the time bickering, struggling, rowing,
doubting, checking, getting nothing for it
missing the beat
never being finally free

she's in guard for me
like Cerberus kept the gates of hell
she brings nothing worth to keep
I know deep down she's sick

I need a defense! But I don't need a eyeless
slave to save my day

I am a goddess - and I need no slaves
she's blind but never mute! She shouts
and always blows a fuse!
She spills, she cries, drags me to the sty
heaven's below my feet, but she insists in doing right

She says "I am a feminist, I will save your soul"
but she never makes me whole!
she's a true scam of a thought

This slave lives within me
I need to keep her down -
but how?
Give her love
that shuts every mouth
Courtney O Aug 2020
God is giving me some help
God is throwing me a thread
a rope for me to catch
a safe haven to have

I can't really take this
It's draining me! because
I am energy about to burst
All over your body, in pure lust

And I am so afraid, can you feel my pain?
This pent up joy, this pent up crave
I'm so bottled up in desire,
it's driving me nuts
not having you on my bed side

My flat - the place to come alive
I'm too caught up in my own desire
Tell me what's going on in your mind
Tell me all; for it feels like I die

I just want to come, come, come
in your arms!
I miss it so much
But God's throwing light my way
I can't wait; I can't wait
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