This again like a song on the tip of my tongue.
They've got folks who get turned on by a bird's whistle. Watch the fiasco now. The devil always loses. I wish for everything every one else has ever wished for.
Meditated for an hour with the neighbor. She crashed and snored. I imagined myself flying in spirals with thick white wings. I became a dragon. I used boots to stomp my negative thoughts. The universe is supposed to be on my side. I could see white spirals and felt myself going in.
When love comes barreling toward me I'll close my eyes again.
I'll tell you all my troubles sir.
I'll gladly warm your ear.
That fake *** hungry ****. I think drug dealers are morally deplorable but I'm writing this high. Here's where we are when curious. He had an eagle's talon tattooed outside of his thumb and forefinger. Eyes a blue I had never seen before. The way he sat like a delicate flower. Legs crossed effortlessly. I just need something. To talk to a friend. My credit is getting worse. I've got no plan or idea but am wriggling a bit. I feel good, I really do. Just buckets of tears. I have to look again. I wish I had the strength to shake it all off and to forget what I felt. It was so pure it was blasphemous.
Chaos moves like a breeze.
Loved starved and bruised. I still don't know what happens upstairs at those places. Mind and rough *****. Not getting up before two. The aches and pains of elevated age. Crispy fallen leaves. If something great before the winter. They got kids in cages and I don't know how to feel.
She said she had boundaries. Told me about the ***. Lied about it later. Not that it matters. She knows she's entertaining. I appreciate the break in monotony. We're both out of smoke. He left for four hours, no, five. His little daughter was there. Said he'd be right back. The last dude stole an old lady's change and had a penchant for catching wild animals from the back ditch. One other dripped sweat and yelled for hours from the night to the early morning.
Nothing to do but clean. Smoke joes. Drink flavored coffee at three. Watch episodes of women in prison. Glide tubed lubrication across my lips. Glance at the clock. It is 5 here. My elbow is dry from leaning on it. I want to say hey, come and read this. I've captured a moment! There is no one here. Dishes are *****. Red bean and rice bowls stink filled with water three days ago. Knives with peanut butter. Cheese wrappers. Loose fallen curls across the sink and in corners. Dead cockroach. A noticeable ring in the tub.
She said they had morning ***. Mulled over with me past memories of better lovers. Worried about telling her business. It was hot again. With beads of sweat above my lip and on the side of my face. An ant crawled to my knee. Crushed saltines sat lonely near the porch. My hair does not cooperate. I spent a dollar and some to chat an inmate. Sent a photo.
She poked the alligator with a thin stick. Just enough to annoy it. A drunk man with a camera asked if he could take pictures of us. We both smiled. Posed a little in our chairs. He was from Northern Alabama and went on about a restaurant neither of us knew. There was heavy humidity. I had a sweat salt mustache. The back of my head was wet.
The lamp in the washroom still out. Holes and wasps. I've seen owls at dusk and an eagle looked me in the eye. Got four hundred dollars wired to me wasted on motel six, smokes and rats. Stunk in interviews and talked about. Denied wants and tough taken orders. The lonely of the road.
(He grabbed her ******* the forearm and hid her insulin. Pushed her out of the bed and onto the sofa. Made bruises. Called her a ***** and a ****.)
The words refuse to stick on the page.
There's nothing to write tonight.
The words glide down paper. In streaks.
Slipped on my library card. Broke 2 nails. Neither suicidal nor homicidal. Sever punishments. Oratorical bits. Almost ******. Six doses of what keeps me sane. Get to know me. I hate doing dishes. Cowardice and shame. Yellow belly pythons sixteen feet long. Invisible boxes with mime and revelations. Pace cars; red blooded & blue crossed; tight and painted like a bird’s feathers.
Catapult the stars above my head due north. Blood lust buffet. Static. Open noses. Other concepts I don't understand. Visions all apple orchard green. The thing I said for no reason. The way I looked at you. The capsule of big friction. Explosions of red light. The water sends me back every time.
Next door is slick with sweat wet. Arid here. Flip manipulation. Force bendy like two magnets together. Sign in at registration. Ever too forward. My mind bleeds memory. Something about owls or captured butterflies. Maypole. Kicked-off boots. Split rivers and casual dreams. There was no comparison; nothing was gained from it.
Butterflies pinned still across your back. Slave narrative with sides of garden greens. Hibiscus. Hair of the dog. 45 minute wait. Purple bruises. A course on table etiquette from a reformed peacekeeper. Yellow sky. Ancestral rejection in the form of a practical joke. Rain. Spring worm smell.
— The End —