I've said before I'm not very good at poetry but that seems to be only when I'm going to write about you and I guess it's time for a trip down memory lane.
the nostalgia of our friendship cuts like the blades you used to beg me not to use (but you never really cared it was all part of the plan)
I remember so clearly your favourite line to use to get me to calm down, "I've been with you this long, why would I leave now?"
so tell me why 6 months later you told me I wasnt important to you? you exploded that night with all the hurtful things you had been holding in for two years.
two years is a long time to lie to someone. I'm impressed you held it together for that long. but I guess at some points you needed me. you needed me to cry to about the girls who would never love you but now that I think about it, it was probably part of the plan.
I remember all the promises you made, and I guess I was so naive to believe them because in your letter you told me you were naive to make them.
all I ever was to you was a charity case. something to make you feel like you were making a difference in the world. like maybe if you saved a broken girls life a few time it would make you a good person even if in the end you lead her to attempt taking her own life. I hope you go to hell.
I think the worst part of sharing two years of my
life with you is the fact that you know all my secrets and my darkest corners and my favourite lines. and the fact that no matter how long I go without seeing you there's pieces of you in everything. like the way I spell favourite or colour with the "u" and how every episode of my favourite show will remind me of the night you held my hand while we watched it.
it just hurts because you broke not only my heart but me entirely. I've said it so many times before but I will never be able to trust someone else like I trusted you and it's scary because I'm afraid I will never fall in love again.
I guess at some point I became more than you bargained for and I'm so sorry for that.
I wish I could say I hate you but I'd probably let you back into my life if you asked yet I never want to see you again in fear of breaking down.
I wish I could stop writing about you but I miss you in my bones. *******.

Nobody dies of a broken heart!
That is what everyone says.
Time heals all scars!
That is what everyone says.
The pain dims, the memories fade
New and important things happen
People move on, make a fresh start
That is what everyone says.
Tell you what, I make a fresh start every Single day!
A resolution, not to look back
Not to care, not to feel, not to hear.
And yes, I succeed.


Sometimes.