ComplicatedCharmer

ComplicatedCharmer Feb 2014

Lets get back to how we were.
and not how you're planning it to be.
please
No.
Lets never finish,
what we once started.
lets make this for life.
b'*** I,
I might as well,
wait for forever.
If that means,
I might have you.
Like we were.
And not how we plan
To be.
No.
Please.
Presence is not all that i need.
I need some more.
I have you.
but I dont have YOU.

idk why.but my guy is acting alright,pretty normal,but not like we were. **** sad. like **** it.

ComplicatedCharmer Feb 2014

Is loving yourself so easy ?

idk
enlighten me
somebody just told me to do that,but its hard to swallow.

ComplicatedCharmer Feb 2014

~I'm falling for your eyes~

...... but
they
dont
know
me

YET ......

an edsheeran reference.
but i do mean them

ComplicatedCharmer Feb 2014

A new beginning to our chapter.

Men may come and men may go,
But one thing I just want you to know,
At times,I admit,I may not show,
But trust me,whenever I’m low,
I picture us in the snow.
[I don’t know why?]

In the snow,we provide each other
The warmth,
That the warmest jacket
Could not.

All these months,things went well,
Suddenly,my bipolar struck,
I could no longer gel,
We grew apart,
We got back,
I thank with all my soul,
‘what a luck!’

You’re unsure about our relationship now,
I understand you ,and I messed it up,
But let me just make a quick vow,
I’ve said this before,didn’t quite followed it,
But trust me,I’d never,ever,
And I mean it,never
Give up!

Never give up on us,
And still be honest enough,
To have a transparent happy ever after.
It made me break my veins, I got sick,
When I realized I lost a diamond in the rough.
I’m probably a ****.
An *******.
A mean *****.
Whatever you call it.

Reading poetry of girls writing about how
They got dumped b their guys,how much
They hated yet loved them still.

I could well picture you,
As the miserable girl,upset about her guy,and ME
As the ******* guy, fool enough to dump you.

Well lets make it all clear
For once & for all.
I admit I complicated it
I admit I did it for no reason
I did it because I got anxious
I’m sorry.
I did it because I over think-ed.
I don’t promise I will never get the thought back.
Cause I got no control over it.
But definitely if I choose to listen to my negative
Conscience.
Therefore,that makes me a crazy girl.

But you always loved me that way,no?
The stupid me,the ‘*****’ me,
How I abused so easily,how I am always
Chewing gum,how I step back when you came
Close,how I never made constant eye contact with you,
How I was always cold,and you pressed your hands on mine,
how I used to let thorns
***** me,how I made those pouts,how I
Moved around
While talking, how I totally ******* up the ‘coin trick’
And how much I enjoyed reading * ****,
How I sneak out a lot,how I used to go on & on
About certain silly stuff
And you used to *listen like a puppy[that’s vut I’d like to believe]

I’m sorry for walking away,
When you were reluctant to let go of ‘us’,
I’m sorry for acting so immature and sick.

But I promised something,
And choose to stick to it.
No matter if the world’s gonna end ,
No matter if I’m gonna die tomorrow,
No matter if I’m living for a thousand more years,
I’ll always pray for you by my side.

Lets shut thepast, cut the future,
And live for today
Let me run my hands through your hair,
And you grab me by the waist, lets cuddle,
Lets hug,lets sleep ,lets wake up together ,lets drive away,
lets move in,lets fly away ,lets drink beer and dance on the table,
lets fight and then make up,lets get
married and make love each night.

I sniff you’re a different person now,
And I’m to be blamed.
But I’ll even love you
With all my heart and mind
In its right place
each and every different aspect of you,
as long its YOU.
Simple.
Ok?

my first attempt to positive,happy poems,slightly happier than before,i suppose,thanks to my baby for this,i have my head in the game now,iloveyou,
its pretty long,for somebody who'll maybe not even read the entire thing,but i specially wrote it for him.
period.

ComplicatedCharmer Jan 2014

Untitled

“I’ve never been lonely. I’ve been in a room — I’ve felt suicidal. I’ve been depressed. I’ve felt awful — awful beyond all — but I never felt that one other person could enter that room and cure what was bothering me…or that any number of people could enter that room. In other words, loneliness is something I’ve never been bothered with because I’ve always had this terrible itch for solitude. It’s being at a party, or at a stadium full of people cheering for something, that I might feel loneliness. I’ll quote Ibsen, “The strongest men are the most alone.” I’ve never thought, “Well, some beautiful blonde will come in here and give me a ****-job, rub my *****, and I’ll feel good.” No, that won’t help. You know the typical crowd, “Wow, it’s Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?” Well, yeah. Because there’s nothing out there. It’s stupidity. Stupid people mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidify themselves. I’ve never been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars, because I didn’t want to hide in factories. That’s all. Sorry for all the millions, but I’ve never been lonely. I like myself. I’m the best form of entertainment I have. Let’s drink more wine!”

ComplicatedCharmer Jan 2014

I'm sorry,I complicated it,I want you back!

I'm Writing you,
Cause there's nothing left here
For me to do
But please know that
I'm trying to make up for my mistakes
And you're moving on
With guilt and memories
But I was wrong
To ever test us
This broken chord of
our music
is more than I can take

So this is the way that
I'll tell you
That I'll leave you alone
if you want me to
But I've had enough of this life alone

I'll give it up this time I know
I don't deserve to tell you
that I love you
There's nothing in this world
I'd take above you
I'm dead inside
Bring me back to life.

So,its never that late
to show you who i'm
to tell you that i care
and i know
you too wanna love me
and i know you'll understand
that i could be your
*'missing page'

thanks to secondhand serenade, great inspiration!

ComplicatedCharmer Jan 2014

PSEUDONYM&ME.

I've always lived inside a shell,
But i want to be free and
fly,
I've always felt like i'm nobody's,
but all i wanted to be
was everybodys',
I wasnt hungry for fame,
but deprived of love.
I still am.
I always thought i could
never be loved,
but i always badly
needed it,
I’ve always asked for
Recognition,
Because I’m never
Appreciated,
I’ve always called myself a loon,
Because I think,
I think too much dirt.
I don’t think im pretty,
‘cause from near,
When my demons are visible,
I see myself
My ugliness
Reflects,
Comes back at me.
More hatred.

When guys say , “ oh you’re so pretty,
You can get any guy you want!”
I shatter,because I think
They pretend and lie and repeat.
I don’t always get what I
Crave for,
Nor do I manage the relationships.
Or maybe they don’t see the real,
‘ugly’, ‘crazy’,’silly’,
Me.

I don’t see any bright light,
Darkness blurs my vision,
As if morning
Is still asleep,
Causing me more
Blindness.
But all I wanto see is
A ray of hope,shining at me.
For once,
I want to be called actually pretty,
Hot,cool,amazing,
From someone who’ll mean it and
From the one
I’d be able to believe.

But I am not sure
The pseudonym I choose
To live with,
Would let me
Accept what I am wishing for.
…….
That’s my issue,
I’m locked in this personality-cage.
I need rescue.
Save me from rage
Wake up.
Smile..
Fill another page

im looking for a better future ahead,but presently, so much mess.
i was told,i tend to live in a situation im not even in,my overthinking ruins it.andi need some real good advise .

©Complicated charmer 2013