So you wish I was dead
You wish you could extinguish
My very presence from your life

You wish you had never met me
And that you had a life with someone else
Someone better

So you wish that I would disappear
You wish that the earth would swallow me up
You wish that the love I tried to give
Would vanish into a dark distant abyss

You wish that all of the things I ever did
Were extinguished from history
And that there was nothing but air
In my stead

Well I am sorry
But I do exist
And all the things I have tried to do
Are inextinguishable
Including the things I tried to do for you
They have all left their mark on our history

And because you wish me gone
I no longer know anything about anything
And I feel my heart sinking
And I wish that I could vanish into thin air
And that by doing so
I would feel nothing
Not even my own existence

But I know enough to know
That wherever I go
Whatever I do
I will not be able to escape the person I am
I am not able to escape the things that I have done
Or the upset that I have caused
Or the joy I may have given
And so here I am

This person who you would have gone
Still here
Just
Here

I got the old furlough blues
I simply don’t know what to do
The world has changed
And I’ve got no clue
If normal will return
For me and you

I had a job
But its all shot through
I’ve got three weeks of nothing
The State’s paying my dues

I wake up late
But I don’t sleep well
The smallest task
Starts feeling like hell

I got the old furlough blues
I simply don’t know what to do
The world has changed
And I’ve got no clue
If normal will return
For me and you

I’m trying to keep on
An upbeat path
But reality is
This isn’t a laugh

I’m tired of dealing
In uncertainty
I’m bored of the endless
Cups of tea

I got the old furlough blues
I simply don’t know what to do
The world has changed
And I’ve got no clue
If normal will return
For me and you

I want to break out
I want to feel free
To give you a hug
And dance until three

I’m through with this lockdown
I’m sad and I’m blue
Guess that’s what they call
The Furlough blues

Now is the time
When the blue of day
Melts into the grey of night
And a single black bat flutters
Back and forth

Now is the time
When the first stars twinkle
And the great trees turn black
As sirens wail and the drunken woman screams

Now is the time when the hour of the dog
Gives way to the pig
When grey moths flutter against half open windows
And the woman screams again

Now is the time
When the safety of the day
Gives way to the uncertainty of night
And somewhere a steel guitar strums

Now is the time
When the thoughts that pass through my mind
Turn to the fragments of the day
And the uncertainty of the future

Now is the time for naked embrace
For music, and heavy eyelids
For the shields of our armour
To drop as we slide towards sleep

And with the doors to our souls left ajar
The dreams of the universe approach
And soak into our consciousness
Only to disappear
At dawn

Rain
Fall
Upon
Our
Earth

Rain
Wash
Away
Our
Sadness

Rain
Purify
Our
Sullied
Communities

Rain
Keep
Us
Still
And
Silent

Rain
Show
Us
How
To
Give

Rain
Lead
Us
To
The
Truth

Rain
Draw
Us
Close
To
Nature

Rain
Bring
Us
Re
Birth

Do not panic
Breathe
You have
This moment
And that
Is all
You have

All other things
That have passed
Have passed

All things that will come
Will come

But for now
Breathe
Deeply

Be with yourself
Be with everything and everyone
That is with you
Be they living
Or non-living

Appreciate the beauty of our universe

For in time
All things around us
Alive or not
Will transform
Into some different entity

Nothing last forever
Be sure of this

Statues of tyrants
Forged from enduring materials
Will topple
As the voices of the ordinary
Surge forward
And demand
Truth and respect

Be your truth
Share it
Connect it to
Your environment

And be part of
Change

We couldn’t resist
Taking a dip
When we went to the coast

High tide sea was still and pure
Lapping the sandy beach
Beckoning softly

Cursing we had no swimmers
We looked at each other
And made up our minds in an instant

In we would go
Just to feel the glow
That comes from a swim
In the icy floe.

Jeans and jumpers
Were left stranded on the beach
And bewildered walkers
Watched us shiver

As we waded into the silvery blue
One step, another, another
No chance to change our minds
In we go
Wow, woop, weee, hieee
Its’ cold but oh so…

I swim to warm myself
You float and smile
And we are in the glorious sea
Whilst the walkers watch on in curiosity
And children play with the sand
And then, the treat
Of hot coffee on the beach
To warm us up
It was such a lovely day

Only now
Am I learning the art
Of loving

In my childhood
‘love’ had to be earned

And this injurious transaction
Has stained
The decades
Of my adult life

And yet
I somehow
Know
That I can learn
To love

And that love
Must be directed inwards
As well as outwards