My life feels great , I wish I could maintain this state
My life now has a future , what will I do with it?
So many options but only time can work out how my decision will shape the future
the future , the present , the past , I believe its all one
I just wish I can transverse the multiverse so i would see what the perfect future may look like.
I take solace sometimes in knowing that in time and space there is a me who doesn't have the insecurities I have , who has better judgment than I have.
I see what I want . Focused.
Chaos always has a way of making what I see a Mirage
once again dislodge from the Multiverse
but currently I feel great and It seems the future is on the way

I love parks, nature, long walks by the ocean side, watching stars twinkle in the night, the smell of trees after a rain pour, the way my metaphors flow.

sometimes one lingers away from all that is for a promise or two that soon darken into an abyss but soon we are pulled back up to the center again...and so we begin a new page.

I'm just a ball , a mess , feeling like a test and I know at my best I'm never a mess but i just can't stress , enough , this is really tough because as i get older and who I am gets molded

Forming I get lost in what may have been or what it could be or what it was meant to be
If I believed in religion i would have said I was blessed but again I'm wondering if its just a test
I can't rest , i want to be my best but I'm a mess
becoming less when we should have become the best

night and day with a mix of lightning , for 10 months it was frightening but once the storm passed I found myself full of emotions that had been buried away in shackles
locked up , put away due to the mess it creates.

Unshackled and released after a decade of solitude the beast grew and found itself it the company of a soulless being missing all emotions except depression  and the beast with his new found heart would try and try and try to get her out of a rut but every time he tried and tried the soulless being slithered back into her cave of depression until she finally freaked out at the sight of the beast with his heart out on his sleeve.

The Master of the Beast was in disbelief , after a decade of solitude the beast had change but this time he had to be put back in shackles for his own good because the soulless being was still out there , pulling on his thoughts , making him do things that were out of characters for even a Beast

I like the idea of being with you
I dislike the idea of going thru this with you
I think I want you enough
so I may become strong enough
but I have this sinking feeling that you don't feel the same
I don't want to blame I just would like you to explain
I used to see the spark in your eye so I know it wasn't a lie
but now it's replaced and I would like to know what changed.
You say it's you not me but can you see that this wasn't the way.
What did I say? What did I display?

Frustration!  
I'm full of it , second guessing my decision.
Maybe I needed more Patience
Maybe I did the right thing
Maybe it's best to be friends
Maybe it's all her
Maybe I should be more understanding
Maybe she doesn't give 3 *****
Maybe I shouldn't have been so pushy
Maybe she could have explained her situation better.

Maybe.

Maybe I want her back
Maybe she doesn't want to
Maybe I don't want to and just want to talk to her
Maybe we are meant to be together
Maybe she just wanted a **** friend
Maybe It's was all pretend

Maybe she'll talk to me and help me comprehend.

MAYBE