Woe is me, for I am sad.
The saddest of sad, for the reason being selfish.
I feel myself fading into the background.
I'm not mysterious, I'm not a new and shiny toy. (Person?)
I just blend into the mold of adulthood.

I want to capture life's greatest moments.
I want to make people love with all of their heart.
I want to stop having to defend my opinions.
I simply want to make my mark.

Do I want attention? Or do I want to be a better person?
I'd rather be lazy if I could. Or would I?
I need the motivation to start moving forward.
Shouldn't that motivation be myself?

I'm sick of being lazy. I need to stand strong.
On my own two feet. For my own well-being.

*Life is the longest moment in time that we have.
I need to make it count.

My days are a sad excuse for a living soul.
I go to school and then come home.
I cook and clean and mop the floors.
I take a test and work some more.
I scroll through Tickld for hours on end.
I'd rather sit around and do nothing.
All I can think about is how to earn money.

Where did my imagination go?
When I could run outside and be a lion.
When I could write a book for no reason.
When I could finish my work because I was proud.

Now I hardly care about grades.
I hardly care about my health.
I see a mess and leave it to rot.
My ideas revolve around money.
I just can't get out of this slump.

When did my life become so dull and plain?
I just want to feel alive, again.

Drip
    Drip
          Drop.
I just want to
                             STOP.
This torment
        in
       my
     mind
Needs to go
                          GOODBYE.
I want to be

H
A
P
P
Y

What is that?
How do I find it?
How do I
               let
                   go?

I'm selfish.
           DISGUSTINGLY so.
I'm young.
           GET OVER it.
I need to change.
           so CHANGE.

G e t t i n g  t h i s  o f f  m y  c h e s t  m a k e s  m e  f e e l
better.

I sit here and type,
Though I haven't a clue what to write.
My emotions are running high,
And yet my tear ducts remain dry.

I just want to scream,
Yet none of this could be a dream.
I'm so confused, and so sad,
It's more like defeated, not mad.

Why can't I just hang up the cape?
My insecurities prevent my escape.
I'm lazy, hopeless, and selfish.
To better myself is my only wish.

Help me please, I truly want to try.
*I'm sick of this constant need to cry.

My emotions are boiling over.
I just want to run away.
Take the car and drive.
Lose myself along the way.

Why do we, as humans, forgive so easily?

Sorting through the past, I've been:
Lied to,
Manipulated,
Taunted,
Hated,
Tormented.

Yet with time, I've forgiven all occurrences.

I've been manipulated so badly
that when I saw that person,
red hatred would flow within my veins.
They took my fragile emotions
and completely stomped on them.
For their own benefit.

And yet sooner or later, all is forgiven. Why?

I've been attacked verbally
both in person and virtually by close friends.
And yet I go to them and ask forgiveness.
I'm so afraid of being alone that I'd rather
have horrid people in my life
than a few close friends.

Are we, as humans,
so afraid of standing up for ourselves,
that we would rather have a plethora
of bad people in our lives,
compared to only a few good ones?

Are we, as humans,
taught to forgive and forget
instead of being true to ourselves?
We let others walk on us instead of standing strong.
We let others use and manipulate us,
and forgive them so we won't lose them.

*Is anyone else tired of these games?

I screamed out through all the madness.
The pain in my chest was unbearable.
My eyes ******* shut as tears flowed.
"Please wake me up!"

I've never been in so much pain,
Simply because I can't do anything.
All that there is is to listen from
Five-thousand miles away.

I can't help: I'm useless.
My bones start to shake from madness.
I really wish this was a nightmare.
So I could be *woken up.