I will not write you into poetry,
because you are worth more than these few lines deserve.
More than my metaphors could muster.
Beyond my simile.

I will not inscribe your name on my arm,
nor place you as a seal to my heart
lest my gestures be rendered meaningless.

Instead, I will trace my dreams
in circlets around your head.
I will draw upon the back of your hand
my good fortunes and pleasure.

I will seal each moment
                with the softness of your skin
and lay my anchor between the tips of your fingers.

I will mouth non-sense syllables,
and laugh out of turn.

All, in turn, just to see you smile.

Because in a world where everything seems fleeting,

this moment is forever.

Pulled as tight as the netted stars
Contentment is the only thing I hear
Wind roaring through my hair

There must be something I've forgotten
Some forgone prologue to this ebony cheer

This bowel of awkward just spills from my mouth
As if I could dry heave the perfect soliloquy,
Cite the succinct sonnet

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen"
"My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun"

It feels so good to feel uncomfortable again
To fumble over missed turn signals
It's been too long
Since I've calmed my  nerves
With a clove cigar,  a pen
And the cool grey of the night

at last -
our routines collide;
a daily walk, kiss, sweat,
our letters turned post-its
phone-calls to real life sound waves
bounding home.
The strange comfort
of arguing - knowing you're in the next room
not the next stretch
of foam-etched ocean
away from a 'sorry'


and knowing
it still grows, away from the distance
the aching, the halflife,
it's growing,

maybe more than before.

you were a fair distraction
I kept you close
I knew you'd stay and
wait for me to reach to you
and I thought I was an empty promise
I thought I was cruel

I kept you closer
I stayed my distance
we were so different

I said yes
and still empty

but now…

now the little things
the things that swim in
and through all my moments
blinding me daydream
by daydream

you might save me
just by being
I'm afraid of this
of falling too far

I can't stop
your eyelids
the tiny gap in your teeth
your stepping stone vertebrae
your immaculate jawline

you
are a whisper from the top of a well
faintly echoing
all the way down
to me

I feel like I should save you,
because I've been there,
because I've done that.

But who am I to save you?
can't even save myself,
and I hate that.

I feel as though I know you;
because I feel like you're a mirror.
I'm staring at myself;
my reflection's getting clearer.

What have I done to deserve
to lose my guiding light?
It's harder now than ever,
every day's a constant fight.

I'll never get to see you,
to thank you for all you've done.
I'll never get to meet you,
my brightly shining sun.

Your words have got me this far,
you've pushed me down this road,
and I don't feel like I've ever
owed as much as I do owe,

I owe you for your courage,
your strength to hold me tall
despite being on edge,
always about to fall.

I don't think many knew that,
you kept it in quite well.
Only once or twice it seems;
that's all you ever fell.

But in the end it's anger.
It consumes us all.
Anger is the one to blame;
the one to make you fall.

You never should have been there,
on that fateful night,
when you flew across the pavement,
flung far from your bike.

You never should have been there,
she begged you not to go.
But instead you took the low road,
but instead; you said no.

What was on your mind?
Did you know it would be your last?
Your last thoughts as a human,
and they were racing fast.

Why couldn't you slow down?
Why didn't you go home?
You were drunk and you knew it!
You didn't have to roam.

You should have stopped to think,
about your daughter and your wife.
You should have stopped to think
about your very life.

You were more than just one person,
you were an idol, proud and tall.
But you were more than just an icon;
you were a friend to all.

A friend in times of need,
in times of darkness and despair,
a friend in times of tragedy;
someone who's always there.

Now I'll never get to thank you...
but we all make mistakes.
It just ***** that we're so fragile
that one choice is all it takes.

All it takes to end a life,
whose voice reached across all Nations.
All it takes to end a life
with many dreams and aspirations.

But in the end,
there's a reminder.
Your voice; it still lives on.

In the end,
you are still with us.
You'll never be truly gone.

Because your words were filled with power;
screamed from an aching heart,
your words have changed the world,
and this is just the start.

I know it's scary,
but everything will be alright.

These words mean so much,
that you're still my guiding light.

These same four walls remind me
that my friends have all moved on,
and these same four walls remind me,
that the road I walk is long.

These same four walls remind me
of how easily I weep,
and these same four walls remind me
of how little I find sleep.

These same four walls remind me
that they're a cage around my heart,
and these same four walls remind me
that my life has come apart.

But these same four walls remind me
that walls can be knocked down.
And these same four walls remind me
that you can smile, or choose to frown.

I turned love into the least important stop on my route.
I turned love into a duty that I never cared to complete.
Until that first night in our favourite bar, I'd cycled through person after person.
I ran as soon as I felt them feeling something for me.
But your body was my redemption;
Every freckle, every curve and every cell of you became a part of me.

The scent of your hair was intoxicating.
And I never found the words to tell you ,
That your kiss made me need to be a better person.
Your kiss made all the mistakes I made inconsequential.
In your mouth I tasted my future,
And in your body I tasted the person I was to become.

I haven't done a lot of things I'm proud of.
And my life is not what I'd expected it to be.
And the greatest love stories of all time cannot help me sum up
What it was like when you stole that first sober kiss
At the top of the stairs in my brand new apartment.
Its the love that let me go that I can't bring myself to let go of.

And there was that night you accidentally dyed your hair red.
Too much tequila made your face glow and you looked me in the eyes
And said that you felt ugly.
I laughed ad told you that even if all your hair fell out,
And I went blind you'd still be the most beautiful girl in the world.

I had made the assumption that when it was time for me to fall in love,
That I'd know exactly what to do and how to feel.
I'd never imagined that the silly nineteen-year-old girl that I kissed in too public of a place.
Would become the woman i loved and my private muse for years to come.  

And you were always a little too funny and a bit too loud,
And a lot less mature than we both are now.
I wanted to grow up with you and fall in love with you again 10 years down the road.
I wanted to cultivate a love with you that lasted through the cold winter months,
And years of parenting.
I wanted to rediscover our youth once the kids have grown.
And to kiss you on every continent.

Everything you say you feel for her is everything I've known I've felt for you for years.
So I never pushed my way back into your conscious thoughts.
I never begged to be a part of your life because poets are doomed to live tragically.
And I am ****** to live in the void your presence had left in its wake.

Now that you're gone I'm trying to jump back into my old cycle.
I'm trying to teach myself to fall again.
But everytime I kiss someone new, (it's only happened twice)
I can taste you.
You took everything wen you left.
I'm so used up I don't know if I have anything to give someone new.

You look older now and I've missed out on precious years.
Your name used to slip of my tongue like syrup that was a little too sweet.
I've been on a sugar high for a couple of years now.
Even though the way you left was more than a little bitter,
I can still taste honey when I speak your name.

You made love a 6 letter word.

In the end,
you've only managed to pull the trigger first.
And yet,
knowing full well the consequences,
I struck on,
hoping that someday my love would fall true.

It was my mistake.

How was I to know
— a man bereft of possessions and purpose —
that you
— glorious, important, so very very tired —
required more than:
                    a single glance,
                              a sidelong smile,
                                        a tender touch,
                                                  a silent moment...

These things no longer exist,
or, at least,
if they do,
I have no idea how to find them with you.

the town air is still more insipid than I remember
the decaying laid to rest in ranch homes and townhouses
and more recently underground

the cold, dry and tasteless, leeches life from the bones
for the slowing heart of these abandoned streets

where families, unaware, come to their slaughter
cloven by the allure of death
hanging in the wind

the husks of the trapped wander
and masquerade the bar stool seats
of have-nots, should-have-beens, and glory days of yesteryear

and all i can do is shake the black powder from my shoes
for this stop on my travels
this shadow of a city
i've no reason to return