That sight of the scars
Painting her young wrists
Shook me with with disbelief
Yet overtook me with jealousy

I'd never be able to express pain
Like she did in her poetry

The crispest of papers
The finest of inks would falter
In front of that beautiful, mangled mess
Her smudged, blood-tinged words would author

You are young
and still don't understand why you should be afraid of the dark
so you venture into it.
Leave behind the crying people,
and your parents blank faces
surrounding the urn that cradles your sister's ashes.
No one has told you why she wanted to be burned so you do not ask.
You don't know this yet, but you never will.

Imagine you are chasing fairies,
it helps you to ignore the cold,
the pinch of your Sunday shoes,
the voice of your older sister whispering that you will be caught.
But you are determined to have an adventure
and so you run.

Years from now you will remember this moment,
you will swear you could feel the brush of fairy wings
against your face as you rushed away from the marble mausoleum;
but there are no trees
only dirt, only gravestones,
only bushes too high and wide
for your arms to reach around.

Run until the ground rises up,
and greets your body with a bone crushing hug.
It will not let you go, no matter how hard you struggle
or how loudly you scream.
Dirt covers your head and you fear you are being buried alive.
You are not.
This will not stop the nightmares that come later.

(You are twenty and you are speaking to your therapist
she tells you to breathe, she tells you again.)

Time passes, as time has a habit of doing,
and you are standing above ground.
You cannot feel your fingers
only the curious stares of your cousins
and the long suffering sigh from your mother
who wipes the dirt from your face, absentmindedly.

“Did you go off to play and get lost?” she asks.
“You promised you'd stay put.”
You say nothing.

“You are so beautiful. Such pretty eyes.” she says, struggling to smile,
to say words that she thinks will calm the heart clawing at your chest
the way you clawed at the walls of your grave.
You are covered in dirt. There are rocks in your shoes.
You have lost your favorite bow.
You say nothing.

I never
heard you
    *Sing

By Joseph Childress

****** expressions
Are greater than words
But I
Want the liquid truth!

Lips don't only talk
They also kiss
Tears can be more deceptive
Than tongues
And yours is persuasive
The ability to sway
Opinions
From your salt water
Body of lies
Can form dead seas
And these scrolls
Wouldn't be here
Without this excess of ink

Shedding blood
Shows only a lack of control
And care
Shedding my own
Would only show
My lack of understanding

The thirst I have
Is for liquid truth
The friction we cause
When we tell it
Is more than enough fire
To make it pure

By Joseph Childress

This is practice
The climatic ending
We've been reliving
Since we've been passing
Bottles of passion

They explode like champagne
Or the breaking of glasses
When we let go

This abuse
Is useless
The pain is duller
Than the point I made
When I said
We were mad for each other

I meant
Made for each other
But we've mistaken each other
For designated driver's
Our destination
We'll never make
But, you're smarter than me

You'll get another ride
And me
I'll take another shot
Before I leave

Broken shards of a broken heart-
Each piece composes a different line,
Then from the crevices bleeds out your poetry.
And then you ask me why it doesn't rhyme.

:)

Numbness I await
While your words reverberate
Through and through my soul.

"Could've"
Can be a cold word
The shadow of regret
"Chance"
Has a silhouette
With enhanced details
That show over time
Chants and rants
On the definition
Of the enchanted emotion
So much power
And so little time
To learn how to use it
Still,
It's never useless
I say
Never use less
Words than needed
Or else
"Could've" will become you

For every fail
I promise
To prevail tenfold
I'll multiply exponentially
In the multitude of exponents
I've handled carelessly
Through the years
The hearts affected
May never repair
I'll repent
Whether forgiven
Or forbidden
In hopes to console
Know
I have control
Regardless
Of regard or disregarded
I've discarded
All rocks
And hardplaces
That reside in my heart
I've guarded
Insecurity for far too long
I've longed
For disarmament
Like peace keepers
And prayed
For the tearing down
Of these walls
Like Germans from Berlin
Since 1989
My history tells
A story of falls
And progression
Transgressions
From past sessions
In classes
Of no interest
Now
Shows current
Though currency
Can never measure success
I owe
So much to you
And myself

And then you come in the evening with all your charm
the more I restrain the more I fall
virtual life in your  arms is my only reality
my paradise  of love and portal to divinity  

I am lip-drunk in our fantasy marathon  
the parade of  promises  and the race of dreams
the world broken but  mended stronger
I burn in passion of fire in virtual reality !

It kills-
Knowing I'm the pain
flickering inside
your eyes.

Sometimes what I write
Is less poetry, more rant,
While sometimes, this girl
Plans beforehand.
Yes, I like to play God sometimes,
And before I actually sit down to create,
I twiddle my thumbs, think a little
And decide my dear poem's fate.
Ah when I know exactly the very last line,
Those poems are the best kind!
I may wander, get lost on the way,
But the finale is crystal in my mind.
So today I wondered if
I already knew-
Just like I know this poem's conclusion,
That the ****** of my life was going to be you,
How easily would I spin my entire life,
All my dreams, my nights and days
Around the beautiful knowledge
That you were just some wait away.

                                             *

Though now that I'm pouring
My thoughts into creation,
I realise the end that I'd foreseen
Doesn't really meet my expectations!
I'll have to let the words take over now
Perhaps, like I'd let destiny
Govern us too,
I'll let the end pave its way through,
Just like my life stumbled into you.

Because some poems, and love stories
Aren't made with pre-thought choices.
Some poems, and love stories
Are best served with sweet unknown surprises.

I wondered
What was that sudden empty feeling,
When I turned to realise that
Oh! You went away already, leaving
your absence to stare at me
Through the diamonds of our wedding ring.