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 Jan 2011
jeremy wyatt
Aren't fish fun!
I have one.
My best chum.
Love it to death.
So hold your breath,
fish, and come!
Get in my pocket,
we'll go and find Mum!
 Jan 2011
jeremy wyatt
A happy cat was on my lap.
All ginger, fat and having a nap.
He shared my cake,
all pretty, iced pink.
I bet it makes his poo poo stink.
He had enough of squashing me,
(he weighs a stone and a half you see)
jumped down, and checked his empty dish,
gave his ginger tail a swish.
Then he went off for another snooze,
dreaming of all the food he'd choose.
 Jan 2011
jeremy wyatt
There's a monster in my cupboard,
peeking out the gap,
I think I hear him breathing,
I think I hear him tap.
Bet he will come creeping out,
if I try to  have a nap!
So I will have to trick him,
and make him scared instead.
I'll just let out the monster
that I keep beneath my bed!
 Jan 2011
jeremy wyatt
There's a pebble on my table,
it's rocking too and fro.
I think there is something inside it,
I'd really like to know!
Is it a monkey, a deer or a dog?
Or is it a crocodile, big as a log?
Whenever it moves I have to shout.
"Stop that rocking, please come out!"
Wow, now it's cracking, I almost can see it,
I'll get a wee stick and try to help free it!
Shh here it comes, aww isn't it sweet,
a wee baby rabbit, all snuggled asleep.
 Jan 2011
jeremy wyatt
I saw a dinosaur today,
his scales were pink!
Perhaps he's gay?
His claws were big,
His teeth were whoppers.
And his *** was firing party poppers.
 Jan 2011
Judy Ponceby
Remember when, you were a very little boy
and your mom would warm the towels up in the dryer
so when you jumped out of the bathtub shivering you would feel cozy warm?

Remember when, you were a very little girl
and your dad would hold you in his arms
and whirl around in circles until you both fell to the ground laughing?

Remember when, you were a little boy
and you scraped your knee when you fell out of the tree,
and your mom held you close until the tears stopped?

Remember when, you were so sick you stayed home from school,
and your mom made special soup just for you
and cuddled you up and read your favorite story 6 times, just because?

Remember when, your pet hamster, Louie, died,
and you insisted on having an official burial ceremony,
and mom and dad said nice things about Louie before the shoebox was covered up?

Remember when, you were a little girl,
and your grandma gave you your first china tea set
and she had tea and crumpets with you and Bear?

Remember when, you were very young,
and a hug or a kiss or a word would repair
the biggest hurts in the world?

I remember when.............................................................­.
 Jan 2011
jeremy wyatt
Chlamydia, you grumpy cow!
You're twice as grumpy as Sarah the sow.
Half as happy as Jennifer hen,
But ten times better than all the men !

Chlamydia, Chlamydia,
we never will get rid of yer.
A fixture in the draughty barn,
giving us milk and a gossipy yarn.

Have some grass and Chrstmas cake,
have a snooze and then awake,
to a surprise picnic on your floor,
then you can be a grump once more.
 Dec 2010
Methy Architabel
Flutterbies and Scallywags
floating in a brizzillag.
Mumbliwags and prissywicks
swimming in a zig zag

All together, stroke, stroke,
the mumbliwags are swimming.
Dipping here and dipping there.
the flutterbies are skimming.

But not so much, those scallywags,
a lazy bunch they are...
and what about those prissywicks,
the laziest by far.

Bumblies are bumbling,
What very funny things.
Listing side to side are they
On their whimsy wings  

Prissywicks and Frakkyliks
tiring long before,
any of their counterparts
on the brizzillag shore

Flitting hither and thither, and way beyond yonder,
the flutterbies flitter all day.
It's a shame, don't you know, when it comes to playing,
only the flutterbies come out to put on a show.

The rest are all lazy, and mindless or crazy
and float around in the brizzillag.
If it were a contest, you know who would be the best,  
And Flutterbies would be winnin',  every blue ribbon.
 Dec 2010
Methy Architabel
how my cell-mate loved me
i miss him now and then
i am finally on the outside
but he's doing five to ten.

i met him in the lunch room
he followed to the yard
and when he brushed against me
i felt something really hard.

don't be shy he told me
i'll treat you right, you'll see
and then he whispered nothings
while making love to me.

how my cell-mate loved me
let me count the ways
i love his big house nickname
they call him Bubba J

Bubba is a big boy
and really hairy too
if **** rugs are what you love
then he's the one for you.

He is a big bad tough guy
until he is alone
and then he is a teddy bear
I love to make him moan.

He is so soft and snuggly
he is my ******* coo
he hates for me to call him that
as a tough guy he'd be thru.

he is like putty in my hands
for sure when i am done
but at the start he is so hard
at least until he ****

if he gives me sass
i smack his *** and send him to his bunk
i am the boss of this sweet pair
and I treat him like a punk.

he stands real tall when free time comes
and fear is felt by all
but he looks up when facing me
and i'm just five feet tall.

i am the tough guy it turns out
and he is just a queen
i love him and he loves me
he's the best i've ever seen.

too bad i'm here and he is there
i think i'll rob a store
then i'll be back in with him again
and have sweet love once more.
 Dec 2010
Alan McClure
Betty Botter bravely brought her
best out putting pen to paper
built a book both brave and brittle
based it on the bitter battle
she had fought to beat the bottle
blossomed bigger, better, brighter
got the right to be a writer
Brought the book to Bertie Baxter
Baxter's Bookstore's biggest buyer
but the buyer was no biter
he thought vampire books were better
Tried to bate her and berate her
and belittle Betty Botter
bad benighted ******* bade her
"Be more like the bigger hitters!"
Better bet your bottom dollar
Betty Botter's ****** bitter.
Someone else could probably do this better, but hey-**.
 Dec 2010
Judy Ponceby
Bacterial
Viral
Misery.

Capturing
My
Soul and Spirit.

Bringing me down.
Down to the ground.

Invisible terror
wreaking havoc
on my body.

Spreading doom
and gloom.

So miserable
I wish I could die.
So unfortunate
as to be unable to.

Oh, the pressure,
the pounding,
the drainage,
the floundering.

Will it not go away,
So I may see yet another day,
Where the sun will shine
And I can feel fine.

I truly hate being
this Germ's
*****.
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