My roots may have adapted for years —
Many celebrate when I’m in victory
But I found no one In the long run of misery.

And this pace was tiring,
It has left me hanging —
Clueless about what’s ahead,
Murky days ahead,
It’s as if.. combing the strands of my hair in white,
With a gentle touch from my weary fingertips.

And maybe, just maybe
You know I’ve been lying to myself lately.
If I could just retire for a moment.
A moment that could snap toward the future,
A moment that could bounce me back to the past,
Or even freeze me like Captain America.

If I could just pull myself up from the mirror,
And maybe exchange names with somebody else.
Someone better than me,
Someone good enough,
Someone whose best
Could fit in this demanding society.

I still can’t get over such thoughts,
I can’t even recover
From the pain that haunts me
Every time I try to seek the light.

“It’s easy,” they’ll tell you
But their absence was the only constant thing
To be present all this time.

As I said: it was a long run —
Of resisting this agenda in my head,
“I’m not good enough.”
How I wish to be torn between two lovers,
But it was between the old and new me.
How could I love myself then?