Tus secretos
se esconden
entre las arrugas
de mi corazón.

Y te prometo
si no regresas
tan pronto como
en mis sueños...

los dejaré salir.

It doesn't always happen when you'd expect it,
in the quiet hours when no one else is home.

It comes when I'm in the presence of my dearest friends, however new,
and suddenly, I look around me and see no one but strangers.

To my right I see the group I am a part of, but I don't fit in...
to my left the ones with whom I fit, but do not belong.

I should have kissed you
inside the hollowed tree;
A moment planned precisely,
obvious enough for discovery.

I should have kissed you
at the top of the hill;
Your skin illimuninated
by the sun setting behind you.

I should have kissed you
on that floral couch;
When the silence penetrated
all but my screaming thoughts.

I should have kissed you
beneath the water;
But I just wondered
why you were even there.

I should have kissed you
but I didn’t.
You said you’d hold me
but you left me in the dust.

You said you’d hold me
but you didn’t.
You ran and ran
but you can’t hide.

Already today
I’ve forgotten your name,
although it’s written
all over my body.

On my hands that you held
that November night,
on my forehead you kissed
when we said goodbye.

In my eyes that you loved,
on my shoulders you hugged,
on my back you admired
in the hot summer sun.

If I want to remember
your name these days,
I just look at my body,
for there you will stay.

But I don’t want to remember,
I want to forget
I want to live life
and remove you from it.

I want to close my eyes
and not see you
behind my lids
when I feel the bruise.

So I’ll stare straight ahead,
I’ll follow the sun.
For if I look down at my body,
I’ll come undone.

Baby, I can’t help it.
You make me wanna smile.
You make me wanna crawl into
your world a little while.

But all that’s just a memory,
some papers in my drawer,
some playlists and some post it notes
all scattered on the floor.

I think I’ve lost my footing,
I think I’m falling down,
I think I’m gonna topple
face first on the ground.

You’re trying to trip me,
to push me on the floor.
Is this all we have in store for us?
Or is there something more?

I’m on the brink of freedom.
I’m sprinting for the edge.
But right before I feel the fall,
you pull me back again.

Atomized,
Anti-socialized,
No one to turn to.  
No one to help you.
In a hypocritical world
We look to him for direction.
We find in him a solution:
Where actions become  
The only form of thought,
There lies the virtue of sacrifice.
No one will deny  
The purity of blood
Selflessly shed for this dream:  

“When these centuries of struggle end,
Paradise will be complete.
Everything is possible.
We can change the world.”

Now I will sing you this lullaby
About a man who could not die
All around him the world did pass
Like an endless hourglass:
He roamed the beaches throughout the land
Counting every grain of sand,
While in and out flowed the sea
Like another passing memory
And every night the sky grew dim
The ocean always sang to him
And lulled him to uneasy sleep
Troubled by his lonely keep
But with his final conscious breath
He’d always whisper his wish for death

Piercing the shrouded sky
They fight against surrounding black:
Like flowers breaking through sidewalk cracks,
The light seeps through the darkness.
Between the leaves
The stars reach for the eyes…

But now thought reaches away:
I escape myself through abstraction
As the past violently asserts itself:
Remembrance induced by a careless focus
On a memory flowing from a present vision:
The tree
now
Clothed in leaves
Beckons forth remembrance:

Autumn leaves,
Trundling into legs only to move past
As they ride the restless winds
Whispering their own poems
Of meaning only experience could collect…
They rush
Through fallow ditches
And enclosing brush which
Form a pattern around
The tree that beckons forth
- With disrobed branches glistening
White under stars,
Dampened by the still-settling dew-
A Self-realization that obliterates all boundaries
And encompasses no thoughts,
but the One
which gives them:
The One which gives a breath
Held together by the moments
Which trail the first puff of white
that joins the airs that wrap themselves
around the tree reaching up to the stars
which do not reflect the one who sees them
but give the light
towards which thought now reaches.

All these memories induce
The longing to feel the openness
No words could possibly posses
As slowly the months fade
Into the dissolving moments it takes
For the eyes to reach up to the light.

When the darkness comes
the light of day is painful
the most brilliant hue of blue
makes you want to close your eyes and never open them again.
And when you do, you cannot close them.
Even the hollowing aura of sleep does not drown you the way the dullness does.
When you're disgusted by sincerity
and you run from happy eyes because they haunt you.
They seem empty, unreal, too alive.
The pulse in your veins makes you squirm,
makes you feel like the living dead because you know this isn't life.
This is the shadow of death when the sun is behind him and he is walking backward so that he grows on you and stays with you as long as you will have it.
Until you awaken from sleepless nights
and decide to breathe again.

What demented creatures, this humanity,
Who praise the unseen and visit the dead,
who dread darkness, naming emotions, expressions,
Love, hate, catatonic depression. Obsessed,
counting each second in a steady breath.
Who wish upon eyelashes and stars,
Who hex and jinx, condemn and curse,
Cross our fingers when we lie,
Bless our food and pray to God
That before we wake, we do not die.
In the various words of noble voices, I’ve heard
the sole thing keeping us from death is breath.
Yet, our friend of old and dear
whom we keep so inseparably near,
is the one thing keeping us from life –fear.

When she left my  moonlight died
Laughter left my face and cried,
Memories became my dreams
In fitful, aching, silent screams.
When she left tomorrow fled
Writhing in my sleepless bed,
Now she’s gone her smile, so wry,
I glimpse as young girls pass me by.
When she left my light went dim
With dreadful numbing from within,
Now she’s gone I catch her scent
In every rose that may relent.
Now she’s gone my life’s a shell
In every moment's empty hell,
When she left the moonlight cried
Laughter left my face and died.

Marshalg
For every love that left.
15 July 2011