I thought i'd drown in sufferings
but you lifted me up and gave me wings
when I was broke, you gave me work
when I thought I needed a man
you gave me a ****
so I would know to rely fully on you
that nothing else would certainly do
you fill up your life with a good job and more
you've got it together, controlled to the core
then off like a hurricane everything's gone
you're left to wonder why it all went wrong
you had the house, the man, the career
you had the respect of all of your peers
now you're alone, afraid, and flat broke
all that you had just went up in smoke
it says right there on that green paper
"In God We Trust" 'cause it can vanish like vapor
when you come kneel at the foot of the throne
that's the moment when you know you have won
the battle you've been in was not for the money
stashing cash for rainy days while it's sunny
you've been at war for your very soul
having it all together was never the goal
now nothing is left that you thought that you need
but all of that was only driven by greed
now you have everything and so much more
and you can feel it right down to your very core
and once you have given it all up for God
then He gives it all back to you, isn't that odd?
He knows the plans that He has for you
plans to prosper not harm, to His word He'll be true.

Coming down in torrents wild
screaming raging like a child
stormy winds they whip outside
matching storms within I cried
a broken heart when does it end
all that I want is for it to mend
nothing prepared me for this pain
so I sit here and listen to the rain
it's running down my window case
just like it's streaming down my face
heart is wrenched completely shattered
all the pieces wind blown scattered
whipped on breezes left behind
I watch them like I do not mind
the numbness starts to settle in
but then it all begins again
it's like a storm that never stops
I just miss the mountain tops
to peak above the gloom I feel
and see the hope and know it's real
I know that this will pass someday
so I will always stop and pray
for all who ask they will receive
a broken heart mends if you believe.

So much stuff it's killing me
it's crushing me the stuff I see
there's stuff and stuff it's all around
I cannot even see the ground
my emails just pile up high
my virtual pile reaches the sky
real stuff fake stuff, so much junk
it's probably why I'm in a funk
my brain is spinning out of whack
so much stuff I can't keep track
should I just delete it all?
and throw away what's piled tall?
but then what if I need that stuff
and then I may not have enough
I'll try to find that thing I read
'cause I can't keep track in my head
but maybe I'd remember things
If all this stuff would just make wings
and fly right out my window there
and then I'm left without a care
what if that had changed my life
and left me here without this strife?
am I the one that stressed me so?
I guess that I'll never know...

Don't think so hard if it's this or it's that
does this thing make me look to thin or too fat
if I take one Major and ignore the rest
if I end up failing just one stupid test

do I look much better with short hair or long
I'm just so stressed out, 'cause what if I'm wrong?!
the left or the right how do I pick a side?
will I end up lonely or will I be a bride?

If I pick one job and I hate what I do
is that worse than never even having a clue?
I'll have space that is mine if I'm buying a home
but what if I'm stuck and I need to just roam?

every decision we make can decide our whole fate
but if we don't choose soon, then it will be too late
decisions decisions I just do not know
do I have to make one? Or just go with the flow?

but you'll end up with nothing if you don't try hard
but I just don't know what I'm working toward
do I want the hubby, kids and that life?
am I really cut out to be somebody's wife?

or am I a free spirit who needs to run wild
who can't be tied down by a man or a child
what will happen in life if I never choose?
if I just ignore it will I certainly loose?

if you have been reading and it's stressing you out
if you're in this too, don't cry and don't pout
there is an answer to all of this stress
it's so very simple, that you'll never guess

and you will try and complicate things
as you chase after money or engagement rings
if you let go of stress and just listen with care
to these answers I give you, these things that I share

the reason that you can't decide what to do
is not because there is something wrong with you
its because you're afraid and you're letting it drive
but if you want to like the place that you arrive

Then you have to let go 'cause you're not in control
you think that you are, but you don't even know
we hold on so tight and we fight and we cry
then scream up at God and cast blame and ask why

"I'm trying to help you, but you won't let go!
you don't even know what you want, but I know
I'm trying to give you the desires of your heart
but you have to let me, yes that is your part

Fear not I am with you, no I will not leave
I only have gifts of love up my sleeve
so hold out your hands and give me your fears
and I will give you hope to replace all those tears

Now sit up straight and just choose one path
don't think about probability or statistical math
just follow your heart to wherever it leads
don't worry about if you end up in the weeds

just keep on going and do not ever quit
don't rely on yourself, your charm or your wit
just trust and believe in Me I will provide
so, take My hand, and lets go for a ride."

Sparkling on thin needles
sun glistens through
looks like Christmas lights

hearing the steady sound
outside my window
and I think of you

I wonder if I can handle it
all of this rain, and more
can I stand the wet places

the gloomy clouds
oppressive gray all around
will it get to me or is it perfect

I don't know what to think
I don't know what I want
I don't know what I'm in for

decisions always more and more
never seeming the right one
just trying to do the best

how do you find your place
when this world is not your home
how do you know where to wait

we are all just waiting here
the dedicated are doomed
the half-hearted are hated

how do you commit your heart
when you know it won't last
the gloom gone, sun is coming

nothing lasts, nothing makes sense
commit commit just go 100%
something is meaningful in the chaos

wind whipping rain all flurries about
nature is chaos but all is in order
rain or shine, don't decide. just live.