Just a republican girl
living in a liberal world
took the 4Runner going anywhere
Just a democrat boy
living in a conservative world
took the white Prius going anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
the marijuana's like perfume
for a puff they can share the night
it goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting
the traffic on the 5's insane
the endless cars stretch through the night
streetlights, people
there's no escaping anywhere
hide me somewhere in the night

too many beards and beer
there are "rainbows" everywhere
politics are in your face
all the time
some will win, some will lose
there are only reds or blues
the fighting never ends
it goes on and on and on and on

Strangers, waiting
the traffic on the 5's insane
the endless cars stretch through the night
streetlights, people
there's no escaping anywhere
hide me somewhere in the night

don't stop believing
that you can escape the city
street lights, people
don't care at allllll

don't stop believing
that you can escape the city
street lights, people
don't care at allllll

don't stop believing
that you can escape the city
street lights, people
don't care at allllll

Oh teddy bear, just look at that stare
you sit on my bed with not a care
never complain when I squeeze to tight
don't steal the covers at all in the night
you're covered in lots of my salty tears
from heartbreak and pain throughout the years
you're not as soft as you were at the start
but I'm glad my mom put you in her shopping cart
thanks for your service but now that I'm 30
you're still a good bear but you're just a bit *****

Well, I rode into town with a stiff wooden knee
on my ship that was falling apart on the sea
an eye patch of black and beard to my knees
I laid down and stared up at the green palm trees

my crew was all mad and the food was all gone
but what can I say? I'm no Captain Ron
they chased me on deck until we ran aground
then I lied and said there was treasure to be found

I'm selfish and soiled, a pirate I be
I'm smarter and hotter than old Mr. Smee
now my crew's all drunk and they're eating some fish
staring up at the stars I am making a wish

I scratch at my eye patch and pull out my pen
trying to ignore the farting stinking men
they don't know I'm a girl and for me that works great
because if they knew then I would fear my fate

but I have a plan and they'll all fall in line
or they will be stranded 'cause that ship is mine
I'm meaner than them and I'm great with a sword
it's why they all hang on my every word

when tomorrow starts up a hangover morning
I will get their attention and give them a warning
If they chase me around the deck ever again
they will lose their reason to call themselves men!

But I realize I'm angry and that's just not fair
'cause when push comes to shove, well they all do their share
when there's towns to be pillaged and ships to attack
well these dog ***** scoundrels they all have my back

the creak of the ship and the waves on the sand
I really don't like it when I'm stuck on land
I'm Captain Fearless, and now that we've met
I know it is something you'll never forget.

itchy tickle little black nose
claws on ends of doggy toes
fluffy tan with big brown eyes
I hope that he never dies
smart and sharp he looks at me
I wonder just what does he see
fluffy tail bounds through snow
man he loves that little word "go"
curled up in a little ball
he makes himself look really small
soft as a cloud and super sweet
I think he knows how to spell "treat"
sliding down the wood-floored hall
chasing after a tennis ball
on my bed he's sleeping sound
I am so happy he's around

Pitter patter little snow
how I love the way you go
so unique in my delight
floating down and taking flight
I haven't seen your little dance
since I've been in the State of no pants
all I saw was shorts and flops
and little skirts and tiny tops
there's just no snow in some places
except what goes up some faces
that is not the snow for me
but laying silent beneath the tree
this blanket cold and crystalline
boards jumping like a trampoline
hollers hoots and happy guys
crisp and perfect clear blue skies
pine tree smells and rushing air
snowboarding without a care
breath of freshest oxygen
this day it was a perfect 10

swipey swipey left or righty
I could do this all freakin nighty
I'll never call you, never text
I know you're all just after ***
boys are silly girls are too
they want true love but a ****** will do
easy peasy lemon squeezy
nobody thinks this stuff is sleezy?

Roses are dead
Violets are stew
If you're in love
then you're an idiot too
'cause boys just like drama
and you'll never be right
unless you're like their mamma
and never will fight
they want you to be good
while they play around
but they wanna check under the hood
before they settle down
so where is the balance
and what do you do
how can you stand a chance
or know what is true
the only way you're ever the one
is if you stay true to you
till they've had all their fun

something something little lamb
all these poems are so sad
Mary probably ate that lamb
'cause she probly had no dad
and Old Yeller up and died
at least that's what i've heard is said
but i've never seen the movie
its so old now, he's probably dead
the little mermaid got divorced
because she missed her family
Mulan's life was totally forced
had to be a man just to be free
Eric must have drowned
tryin to get his wifey back
and once a queen is crowned
her main job is in the sack
poems are like country songs
they only talk of what is sad
a long long list of all the wrongs
they're focusing on all the bad
and if you read them backwards
do you think it all is happy things
all positive and happy words
rainbows, butterflies and birdies sing
laughter was my honest goal
but now I'm done with rambling
negativity can take a toll
but I feel for all those suffering

I sat right down upon the stool
Ignoring the eyes of the nearby fool
The bartender nodded and I ordered a drink
He had it to me quick as a blink
The the arrogant *******
Decided I was the one to scratch his itch
He came right over cool as can be
His clothes were screaming 'I have money'
He laid down his line, something about water
Didn't seem to matter I could be his daughter
Gave me the up-down look, I could see his mind
Normally to my elders I am quite kind
The sad thing is, he thinks it's fine
because the other girls do fall for that line
I wonder if he's ever thought
Is his daughter out there to be bought?
Since he decided not to use his mind
I decided to give him a piece of mine
But my Ferrari's just outside
Does he think I don't have any pride?
It's clear his brain is in his pants
And no thanks, not even just one dance
I look at a sad divorcee
And wonder if that'll be me someday
Watching a man my own age
Hitting on a ******* a different page
When I would love to take him to my room
And make him into my happy groom
I'd probably know a thing or two
That that young thing didn't know to do
But men will want what they can't have
And hit on girls when they could be her dad
But must we sit and suffer through
Their attempts to just ***** you?
For me I think that I will not
And though I get hit on quite a lot
I've got some things I'd like to share
With old men that get that stare
When they come for me they will find
An intelligent woman who speaks her mind
It's an uphill battle but it's gotta be fought
So Skeezers know we can't be bought!