i don't want a rarity
a full moon that only floats
in your midnight sky
once a month

nighttime feels so open,
you shout things
you'd never whisper
in the daylight
and let go of the fear
that surfaces with the sun

i think i'll break all your clocks
at twelve in the morning
to immortalize
our candid midnights,
so that your worries
will never rise

there are good types
of feeling small

like when you're in a big city
with tall buildings
and throngs of strangers
surrounding you,
painted with possibility

or when you're wrapped up
in someone's arms
and that person
feels so massive
and you feel so little
and protected
and safe

but this sensation
of small,
this feeling of
insignificance,
like an ant
that could be squished
and no one would care

is not
a good feeling

sometimes i think about
how you woke up this morning
and brushed your teeth

i wonder how you like your coffee,
and if you read the newspaper

why am i wasting my time
letting all these people
that don't really matter
break my heart

when you're out there somewhere,
living your life
and wondering where i am

i know you're out there
and you're waiting for me too

i don't want to sleep
because i don't want to wake up
and be the same person

i feel ugly, repulsive, disgusting
your words were like venom
and i spit them right back

this hatred is controlling me
and i don't want it to,
i don't want to be like this

i fear that things
will never be okay with us,
i fear that i really am the problem

it feels like i'm standing
on the edge of a cliff
next to a calm sea
and at any moment
i could slip into the blue abyss

quietly, the water would
burden my lungs
and with my last breath,
i would whisper
"tomorrow will be better."

tears are forming in my eyes
because all i can think about
are my bare bedroom walls,
naked and dull
and how when i embraced you
and told you i loved you,
you didn't say it back

what do you do
when you love someone
and you're bursting
to let them know

but you van't
because it's destructive
it's no good for you
and it's no good for me

i can't let go of it
i love you today
and tomorrow
and i love you
past any thought
i could think up

it's wrong though
because you aren't right
you blemish my heart
and leave me with bruises
that will never fade

so what do i do?
because i can't stop
loving you

it's not about
ninety-nine cent cards
from the dollar store,
or milk chocolate
in the shape of a heart

it's not about
feeling bad for yourself
because you're single
or going out
to an expensive dinner

it's not about
how many bouquets
or "happy valentine's day"
text messages you receive

love is beautiful,
it is forbearing and selfless,
it is not bitter or rude,
it is modest and humble


so even if you think today
was created by hallmark
to sell more cards

why not show love
to someone
you care about?
or even to
a complete stranger

you don't have to have
a boyfriend or girlfriend
or husband or wife
or "significant other"
to celebrate today

because everyday
is a wonderful day
to love someone

i worry about you
(more than you know)
i see the decisions you make
(all the things you've done
that you'll soon see were mistakes)

do you know who you are?
(i don't think you do)
you're boundlessly wandering,
trying to find something (anything)
to mask your pain

i know
you know
that how you're living
will never quench
your thirst

i know
(deep down)
your soul is pleading,
"please, someone save me
from myself."