it will tear away
your skin
     gnaw on
your bones
     and set your
soul aflame

this hatred
     inside of you
will spread
     until you are
consumed
     in a fiery rage
that should've been
     extinguished
at its first spark

     who will
come along
     and save you?

who will
     smother
          your soul?

this feeling of ecstasy,
it blooms inside of me

sparks like fireworks
spread throughout my limbs
my hands quiver
and my heart quickens

i want to run
through endless fields
and shout into the emptiness

because all of the sudden,
i am not invisible

i want to know you at 3am
or on a wednesday afternoon

to know your dreams,
to be your thoughts
and explore the other side
of your crescent moon

maybe i just like
the mystery of you,
but i'm hoping you like
the mystery of me, too

it feels as if
i'm the one
always chasing
after someone

my lungs are burning
and my heart is tired
i want to collapse
and loll here forever

let the flowers
bloom all around me
as i leave an imprint
in the grass

maybe someone
will gaze upon the blossoms
and mistake me for a lily

maybe i don't eat
because i want my skin
to be transparent
i want people to see me
for who i truly am
i hope to one day
wither away
until i am nothing,
until i am just a pile of bones


                                                                ­                        maybe then
                                                            ­                            you'll notice me

you're asleep and i'm sad
wanted to stay up all night
and talk with you
about your day
and why the sky is blue

everything is so easy with us
our words flow back and forth steadily
like the gliding of a ship
atop a calm sea

when i feel broken
you mend me with your words
when i have nothing to say
you effortlessly occupy the silence

you fill this gap inside me
in a way that makes me forget
i was ever incomplete

i'd tell you all of this,
but you're asleep

i want to be
where you are

in your city
with the lights blurring past
as we ride in the car
going somewhere, anywhere
to your favorite restaurants
or to a concert of a band we both love
it really doesn't matter
as long as i'm with you

i want to hold your hand
and smell the scent
of your cologne
to se you smile back at me
to hear your laugh
to hear our laughs combine
and create a song
all of its own

i want to be
where my heart is:
with you.

when i'm sitting alone at night
     in the quietness of my large and aging house
i hear so many noises i'm oblivious to
     during the daylight

the clicks of the air conditioning
     switching on and off,
the creaking of the floors and walls,
     the subtle squeaking the fan makes
in the living room

it's as if my house is sighing
     it's sighing at me
disappointed in me
     he asks why i don't notice him
during the day
     why i only notice him late at night
when i'm lonely
     and there are no other noises
to entertain my ears

i tell him that i'll try to listen more closely
     in the morning, but then i fall asleep
and i wake up and i do not remember
     what i promised my sweet house
so he continues to sigh all day long
     hoping that at some point
even if it's late at night when i'm lonely
     and there is no other noises
to entertain my ears
     i will notice him again

if only for a little while