Mum I never a got a chance to say goodbye
I felt you wouldn't want me there
Standing by your side
I knew you would know
The end was in sight
And as never ready for heaven
It would not be right.

Dying is not a picture house
Or time  for voice transmitters
So I sat by a vase of flowers
And thought of you for ever.

And in the many years
That have past since your death
Have put you on Facebook
The place you'd love the best.

I hope I was right.

Love Mary **

Very kind of you but please this is too generous.
Staying indoors for the remainder of the winter.
Catching up on books waiting to be read.
You too must look after yourself.
Hibernating!
Love and best wishes
John


Love Mary

Everyday you took the seeds
Down our garden to feed the birds
Waiting in clusters in the trees
for the beginning of their need
The doves and the pigeons
Sparrows and magpies
Waiting for you the walk
Down our garden side.

To my Roger love his Mary **

The garden leading to her Edwardian house
Came swiftly off the main road
The front path straight and lengthy
With bobble brick edging in grey stone.

Roses gathered irregularly along the borders
And a privet hedge lined the perimeter
Needing lots of attention in the Summer months
A few small trees and bushes broke up the space.

Every year I would visit my mother's sister ,Betty
Very different from my mother in outlook
As the front door opened the aroma of sweetness
Gathered from the year's cooking apple crop.

And so it would be a weekend of difference
Spread out as the art books lining the walls
A collection of shells, labelled with dates and places
Displayed on a trolley and covered with cellophane,
An old piano,  Boosey and Hawks, on a side wall
And record cabinets containing her favourite music
Everything had its place, still, motionless, peaceful.

When words don't do I say them still
They seem quite blind but that's unkind
Lingering around the room
Not landing in the heart
But by some gentle frame
That cannot bear them to be heard
These words I need to share.

And on and on all through the night
These words lie in me failing sight
I lift them up to tired eyes
Hoping for some surprise
But again and now I hear the words
That cannot be heard even by a little bird.

Perhaps only a few can hear my words
And bear the truth
And so I put them on a shelf
As cards that can be read someday
When the words are strong
And you no longer vulnerable
They can speak.

Love Mary x

When in my thirties whist reading philosophy books
Had this big discussion I called non- space,
In a pub in London with Ian  Pinda and a few
Family  members I'm  not sure who.

Talked about existence and how to escape
Into this place we called non-space
Alex jumped their first with his yellow book
Many years later he finally understood.

Lizzie did it her way with a humour at hand
Made the people laugh, sometimes quite outland
Katie stayed at home against all the norms
Found her own non- space in the palm of her hand.

Vicky went out gliding she  took the slippery slopes
She ended up in Watford with Thyme and a rope
To all those who try reach out for the sky
Find places hidden from other bidder's eyes.

I say well done to you the effort was worthwhile
Don't dig ditches in other peoples styles.


Love to my creative family from Mother Mary ,Grandma ***

When you were a little girl
I came to play each Monday
We had such fun as did Mum
Sitting at the covered table
Drawing pictures and writing poems
Cutting and sticking
Our hearts were glowing

We loved the dollies and the flowers
Cuddled up and played about
Barney came and looked around
To see if I had sweeties found
Milo in his pushchair
Dark brown eyes and softest hair
Always gave a smile to me
When I came and stayed for tea.

At your house I loved to be .


Love Mary

Thank you to Daisy ,Barney ,Milo and Katie , love Mummy ,Grandma ***

Would you believe it
One in the morning
Of a Sunday dawning
A couple of kids
Thought it might be good
To travel back along the tracks
(After all they had missed the last train)
"Scary ", I thought,
But at sixteen anythings fun
Even a death run.
In a Sunday dress and shoes
Meant for prancing not stony floors
With rats and that
Into the black
(And it was when the tunnels
Neatly bent)
Not a thread of light to be seen.
The lad in front
And I behind, trembling slightly,
But did not mind,
Watching for trains appearing blast,
Into the cut away hollows' cast
Many stations we did pass
Along the platforms quick and fast,
After about six miles
Just as the sun began to smile
We two, laughing, very tired
Saw the steps cut in the side
Up a steep and grassy *****
Through the churchyard
Like two ghosts,
Along the empty, silent streets
Hoping not to meet
A policeman on
His morning beat.
Home at last and into bed
Please don't do what I have said.

Love Mary

Thank you Roger for being such fun.Love Mary xxxxbig

We live near the corner
Where two roads cross
Trees to the right
Give beauty and light
Ever changing colour
The Sycamore and the Pine
A Hawthorn  blossom, cerise
In Spring time;
Today this place
Is spread with snow
Patterned tracks
Where the cars go
Over garden walls
Ice drips stripes
Of frozen crystals
In the grey light;
This corner where we live
Is always a delight
A very spectacular sight.


Love Mary

Looking through my photographs
For an image that will last.
Having something to say
About how I lived my days
Individual not in disguise
No forced colours or inverted skies
Or those enhancements using other links
That make your mind blink.
Has to be simple not constructed or planned
Touch of serendipity lending a hand
So my new update from a photo I take
With a child's windmill and a bird on a slate
A friendly sheep , a ceramic heap
Scattering stones, last season's bulb grown
A clematis shoot ******* with string
These are some of my favourite things.
For what is beauty but a surprise
Something unexpected, a moment's desire.

Love Mary

Ruby I can hear your helpfulness
In every word and breath
Quietly you look around
Find  a mission to make sound
Quided by an inner thought
To make the way less thwart
In your silent cares
The needs of others
Always there.
A pleasure to have around
A lovely girl good and sound
Understated child
You grow more beautiful
By the hour.




Love Grandma for Ruby

You bring the outside to my bed
In your brightly coloured dress
Hair tied back in a ponytail
You dance about in a grassy field
The sun's gone in but do you care
Dancing around in the clear air
Wonder who you think you'll be
A circus lady home for tea
A fairy with a golden wand
Whoever it is you'll sing your song.

Love Grandma for Delphi x

I will not know you little child
Or see your shining eyes
Look up at me.
Never trace that tiny face
And hold you upon my knee.

It is a sadness I must bear
But bear it tenderly
With a love that knows
No infinity or finality.


To Victoria and Pieter for their baby
Love Mum ***