My painter friend looked at me and laughed,
"I can't draw, I've told you that," I said.
"What a sad life to not be able to place your emotions on a canvas,"
he grinned.
"I don't paint but I write," I replied, "Want to know the difference?"
Intrigued he awaited for my answer,
"Your art is for the eye, but mine's for the heart."

the angel on my shoulder
picked up smoking,
the devil on the other
took up yoga—

they don't know
how much they have
in common.

I remember when I was 12
There was this really cute guy
He had the most perfect hair
And the most amazing smile
I felt this connection between us
This little spark of attraction
And I liked him so much
That I named it was love
But day after day passed
And someone asked
'So you like her?'
'Nah'
I was broken
'Why?'
'Because she likes One Direction!'
'What if she didn't?'
'Still, not a bit'  
'Why?'
'Honestly, she looks like a pig!'
And there I was
In a broken hearted barn
In the mud of insecurity
As a filthy creature, darned
I could cry, I could wail
But I held myself and slept
Dreamless darkness seemed
So much better than the real
And when I woke up
Just for a moment
I thought it's all okay
But then it struck me like a lightning bolt
Everything came crashing down
I hated myself so much
For being so fat, ugly and hairy
For how I looked and who I was
For my skin and my very bones
And from that day on
I let him define for me
My being, my beauty, my value in life
And love, how it'll never be mine

I took a shower tonight.
But I didn't wash my hair
Or my body or my face
Or even my toes.
I took a shower tonight.
And although the water was as hot as it can go
I stepped in and my whole body froze
From my hair
To my body to my face
To my toes.
I took a shower tonight.
And I just sat on the shower floor
I put my face in my knees
Let the billion clear little razors
Roll down my back
And down the drain.
I didn't cry.
I didn't break down.
I took a shower tonight.
And I just sat on the ground
And I sat in the shower.
Till the hot water turned cold.
Three hours of sitting
of mini razor blades rolling gently down my back
And in just a moment.
I'll get in my bed.
And I'll lay.
For about six to seven hours.
Until seven am
And then I'll put on my eyeliner
And be on my way.