the stillness of that morning still haunts me
the moment of conciousness and the whole world just feeling off balance is something i had never experienced before,
knowing something was wrong and having that inkling of unshakable doubt
was terrifying

then the phone rang
and the fog of doubt
seemed to condense


the waiting was hardest,
sitting across the kitchen with an anxious mother,
nothing but the out of time ticking of an old clock on the wall keeping us present

the gentle opening and closing of the door
hesitant footsteps as my uncle entered the room,
bad news surrounding his being like a black cloud.
my grandmother turned as if in slow motion

the liquid froze to a solid along with my heart
as the distressed cries of a grieving mother
echoed around the small room.