I came here to drown my sorrows
but they're resilient little *******
and always find a way
of swimming back to the surface

You awaken in the cardboard box
That you refer to as your home
The dawn is barely breaking
And already you feel alone

A *****’s bath in a public restroom
Then you’re ready to start your day
Layers of stage makeup hide the wounds
Of the lead in this lack of morality play

First up is the sadistic businessman
He knows the drugs you need
But it comes with one condition
That he gets to see you bleed

With his one hand around your throat
And the other grabbing your breast
He takes whatever looks good
And leaves you with the rest

You straighten out your dress
And try to wipe yourself clean
You’re helped back to your feet
By a schoolboy of age seventeen

He's skipped his classes for the day
And borrowed his mother's van
Now he’ll gladly pay your fee
If you'll make him into a man

It’s all over before it begins
A symptom he can't control
You can barely feel it anyway
Numb in both body and soul

At night you meet your ****
And give the devil his due
You willingly submit to him
As he runs you through

You retreat to the cardboard box
That you refer to as your home
The moon is heavy in the sky
And you can finally be alone

Your lips wrap around the pipe
The smoke molests your lungs
And slowly you begin to forget
The world that you came from

You once dreamt of a white knight
That would come and take you away
Now seen as only vestiges
Of a young girl’s naiveté

Dignity is a memory
An illusion from your past
Like pleasure or happiness
A feeling you could never grasp

You once thought you’d hit rock bottom
But there was so much further left to fall
You were filled with unknown fears
But now you’ve named them all

Add up the rocks they pay
As you break their last taboo
And the secrets that they share
When they’re deep inside of you

A normal person would go insane
But your body is no longer yours
Are you less than human now?
One of a thousand nameless ******

You wonder if they see a woman
Or just another object on her knees
You could show them who you really are
But that’s not what they pay you to be

And though the bells may ring their last,
And the dark of night is coming fast,

I'll sing the song of every kiss
and make the most of the things we'll miss.

Until this present becomes our past.

Words vaguely hidden
inside a woman's heart.
has depth and camouflaged
feelings kept aside.

Possible Happiness
a noble man subsides,
chivalrous as given.
Kept thoughts and play blind.

Cold cloud we feel
are kept with out most intentions.
to free our souls wrapped from grief
and unwanted strings of tension

Obstacles we face
apprehensions we self drive;
Time is inevitably given,
through this pain we slide.

Happy with the way things have turned
Though a hard fought race was given and earned.
Sacrifices was extended and considered to deepest horizons,
spawning towards, what we thought infinity captions.
Transpired over and over, as tomorrow is faced,
with grith and angst over as we were below, hoping,
for an ultimate turnaround with a minimal chance.
hoping for tidal shift towards satisfaction, hoping
to seek and and find ourselves waiting.
to catch every opportunity as we persist and fight,
stand up and understand, this constant quest called Life.

If you're tired of carrying such weight,
that droops your shoulders and skews your gait
That you feel numb from the pain of the past,
and every new problem leaves you aghast

If you think you're one of the condemned and shady,
because your troubles come and never leave,
listen to the story about this young lady,
and then thank me for what you shall receive

She comes from I know not where,
and she goes I know not when,
spell her name, I know not how,
and speak to her, I know not what

Be not deceived thou yet my friend,
for she does not hide what others conceal,
she lives her life like an open book,
and every page has something to reveal

But what makes her unique and what makes her rare,
is how she oscillates between fun and care,
she looks at black and white in the same color - red
and that, I guess, is enough said

You may think she is born of privilege,
but let me tell you that is not true,
she gets her share of joy and pain,
trust me, she's just like you

And just like you she's afraid of insects,
and ghosts and ghouls and all that stuff,
but unlike you she doesn't run away from fear,
and unlike you she's pretty tough

So next time you feel like it's too much to bear,
and you feel engulfed in fires,
just read this poem and once again,
think about the girl who inspires!

Lone bower of hope in my desert life, spread bare
like pathos, against verdant wood, in this dripping rain,
prayer raised to the grey skies, like a late evening
streak of light holding out brave against engulfing pain:
Lone well in the deep forest, in fogging-wet winds,
refuge of abandoned stalks, music of waning seasons,
this waltz of love plays out amid the melancholy
ends of my choices, joy-stream of the drying fountain
when the chorus of crickets drowns the rhythm of rain.

There is a passion that rends the skies
dark of pain, to thunder forth
in this suffering world;

Grace that rains and brings forth
an oasis of refuge in this
world weak of flesh;

The spirit rises weighed on the cross
by the suffering inflicted in place
of Barabbases, thousands.

In the dunes of the desert, a call echoes:
husbandsman, tinkerman, everyman,

Never mind the pharisees;
The spirit to the letter is moon
to the mirage.

Weighed down by the burden of life,
you who have been told you deserve
nothing more than the dirt of the earth
you sinner, you sufferer,

A passion calls forth to you. So difficult
indeed is to see the father, aye,
lawmongers, enough for us to see
this humble son of a carpenter here;

O you crushed
under the wagon wheels of time
taste that love by which you are
before Abraham was.
Come, be pillars
in the mansion of your father;

Tiller toiling away in the sweat of life,
you on whose shoulders walk
the sweet-talking liars
who yet enthroned say
you are worth
only more taxation,

You can part waters. You are a miracle.
You drive away ghosts. You can
call the dead to life. Yet you are
love and see no difference
in Mary from Mary,

a secret ocean at the shore of an oasis
to drink of, until we are here
as He is in heaven.

Heaven for us to see and live here
not some unknowable hereafter.

She lays in bed at night, curled up and silent,
Desperately clutching the fabric of her sweater
As if its threads are keeping her together.
Her eyes like two fountains of glittering saltwater in the darkness.

Under the blankets of shadows she shakes,
Like a silent earthquake; trembling and destructive.
She's falling apart, but who would notice?
Her pain is masked behind a carefully constructed disguise.
Her plastered on smile has started to fade now,
Old wallpaper in this beaten, weathered house.

When the sun sinks under the trees,
Monsters creep into her room and whisper in her ears.
They sink their teeth into her skin and the poison seeps in,
Coursing recklessly through her veins until it has reached her very heart.
A heart that now beats timidly, crushed into tiny sharp fragments,
And grafted together by loosely tied glimmering threads.

Sleep slips underneath her eyelids like a gift,
A temporary escape from the storm brewing inside her.
"Help me," she whispers as she fades away,
Lifting off the dead decaying landscape of her mind.
Her life is a sad mournful song, perpetually stuck on rewind.

When you told me you were pregnant
I was on the verge of passing out
I was high on pills and coke
And other stuff I shouldn’t be writing about

So then you started packing
You were leaving for good this time
And though my eyes were closed
I knew half the **** you took was mine

I could have told you that I loved you
Found some words to make you stay
But the drugs had silenced my tongue
And soon after that everything went gray

I dreamt I was on an island
A paradise surrounded by the sea
Finally I had found the peace within
While hidden from the rest of humanity

Suddenly I saw a parade of beautiful women
Best described by what they didn’t wear
And because it was my fantasy
I was surprised to see you were there

I awoke during the night
At first I thought that I was blind
Then I realized you stole my lamps
You only left the stuff you couldn’t carry behind

I had to stumble around in the dark
Searching through my apartment for a fix
But you had flushed my stash down the toilet
You could never resist being a *****

I finally found enough to get me by
Then played hide and seek with my veins
I shot up but was immediately brought down
Because all I could think of were baby names

I remembered the hopes I had as a boy
Versus the man I eventually became
My child would accomplish very little
If he was forced to share my last name

Why did you think I’d want to be a father?
Did you think it would matter or that I’d care?
Your announcement failed to shock me
I’m always too detached and self-aware

Were you ****** up when you chose me?
Never sober enough to leave?
Did you think you could change me?
You’re too strung out and too naive

Forever fooled by an addiction
That brings you to your knees
Now fated to give birth to a baby
That will share its mother’s disease