drunk again at 3 a.m. at the end of my 2nd bottle
of wine, I have typed from a dozen to 15 pages of
poesy
an old man
maddened for the flesh of young girls in this
dwindling twilight
liver gone
kidneys going
pancrea pooped
top-floor blood pressure
while all the fear of the wasted years
laughs between my toes
no woman will live with me
no Florence Nightingale to watch the
Johnny Carson show with
if I have a stroke I will lay here for six
days, my three cats hungrily ripping the flesh
from my elbows, wrists, head
the radio playing classical music ...
I promised myself never to write old man poems
but this one's funny, you see, excusable, be-
cause I've long gone past using myself and there's
still more left
here at 3 a.m. I am going to take this sheet from
the typer
pour another glass and
insert
make love to the fresh new whiteness
maybe get lucky
again
first for
me
later
for you.
from "All's Normal Here" - 1985

I know it hurts
I know you want to help
But most likely you'll make it worse
I know my pain transfers
Through empathetic encounters
Or the pathetic way I cope
With all these ups
And downers
I know my lies
Destroy these ties
The knots that hold us together
The endless whys I know you've cried
Feeling helpless
Well so do I
Just for much different reasons
Cause your pain is your love for me
And my pain is being stuck in between
The need to be high
And the want to be clean
So how do I change a want to a need
And feed a need to be free
I can never fix this affliction
No pill can cure this restriction
just contradiction
Just pills to feed this addiction
Some find solace as a Christian
But I can't devout myself
To a book I believe to be fiction
So where does that lead me
The next step
One day at a time
These cliches
Make me cringe
My recovery is mine to find
Cause if I just go with the masses
Without belief in their structural design
I'm surely destined to fail
Death could be my sentence
Life would be my crime

Addicts always say one day at a time
But how do we live life with dope on our mind
We are powerless over our addiction
Do I even have to mention GOD
restoring us to sanity
Taking us away from our vanity
Step one, step two, step three, step four
These are the steps that open the door
To a new life living clean and sober
Like an old car with a brand new motor
Even though my life has done a 180
Every other day still gets a little crazy
I thank god for my sponsor and my sober friends
AA, NA and the meeting I attend
The most important person is the one with one day
Don't worry all your gunna say
Is your life's story
You may think it's kind of boring
But it will save your life
We are by your side
If your back hurts
We will remove the knife
Of your old life